Title: His Own Worst Nightmare
Author: Maggie M.
email: maggie.home@cableinet.co.uk
Rating: PG  (some swearing and minor sexual reference – nothing graphic.)
Classification: Nathan & Kristin Romance; angst
Archive: NKRA site and My Pages only. All others please ask first.
Disclaimers: They definitely don't belong to me or series two wouldn't have happened the way it did! Thank you to Amblin for creating them for me to play with. It must be more than obvious that this is amateur stuff – no copyright infringement intended. ‘Said I Loved You…’ by Michael Bolton.
Background: Set between seaQuests. When Kristin is taken ill on Bridger's island could it be a case of history repeating itself?
Notes: A special thank you to Mary for allowing me to use her take on Carol's death.

 

His Own Worst Nightmare


Nathan had been sitting in the waiting room of NCQ General Hospital for hours, locked in his own private hell. He'd relived the night's events over and over, interspersed with memories of Carol's death, until they had become interwoven.

He was vaguely aware of other people around him, Bill and Janet, Jonathan Ford, Lucas and Alice, Kristin's assistant… He remembered having coffee thrust at him and voices talking softly - trying to reassure him… Someone holding his hand, but nothing really penetrated his haze of despair. It was all too much for him to cope with, memories flashed through his mind piecemeal…

Kristin on the beach, Kristin laughing as Darwin soaked both Lucas and himself, only to be next in line. Working together on seaQuest… Making love… Holding her close in the afterglow and wishing it would never end. Holding her last night as she burned with fever. Praying that his strength would keep her alive, praying for a break in the weather. Carol dying in his arms… Cursing himself for letting her down, for bringing her to the island. Blaming himself for his wife's death and Robert's death and maybe Kristin's - so many deaths, all his fault… He'd killed everyone that he had ever loved. He was a danger to those around him…

He was brought back to reality by a hand shaking him roughly and pointing to the door of the isolation room. Then a white-coated figure emerged and Nathan came back to Earth with a jolt. He didn't need to be told - he could see it in the doctor's expression - he'd lost Kristin just as he'd lost Carol.

Nathan hadn't even realised that he was standing until he felt his legs begin to give out. Faces swam in front of his eyes… Voices coming from a long way away…

“Captain?” ~ That was Lucas ~

“Nathan, I'm…” ~ Bill ~

“Oh God, Nathan…” ~ Janet ~

He couldn't do this… It couldn't be happening, not again… Oh God please, not again… He had to get out. Get away…

Without being fully aware of just what he was doing, Nathan turned his back on the confusion and made a dash for the exit. He had no idea where he was headed, just what he was leaving behind… Ignoring the voices frantically calling his name he ran out into the night.

Lucas turned at the sound of the door opening behind him. He looked up expectantly but Noyce only shook his head sadly. Turning back to the bed he took hold of Kristin's hand and stroked it gently - it was the third day of his bedside vigil - three days since Bridger had disappeared.

The boy had desperately wanted to join the search but really had no idea where else to look. The U.E.O people had checked all of the obvious places and they had personnel posted at his home, Kristin's home, the island and his office, but there had been no sign of him. Knowing that he couldn't be of any help in that department, Lucas had elected to stay with Doctor Westphalen, talking to her, reading to her and sleeping in her room so she wouldn't be alone.

Bill took the seat on the opposite side and began telling stories of their old Academy days.

Lucas had never really had much time for the Secretary-General but, over the past few days, his opinion had changed drastically… Beneath the crusty exterior there lurked a nice guy just waiting to get out - A person that you'd want to have as a grandfather - given the choice.

The man had visited every moment he could spare, staying at the hospital all last night. His stories were fascinating as well as hilarious and he couldn't hear enough of them. He could see that Noyce was hurting for his friend and doing everything that he could to help both him and the woman he loved.

It was during one of Bill's tales that Lucas detected a slight movement of Kristin's hand. At first he thought that he'd imagined it but a few minutes later, it happened again… The Secretary-General had reached a really funny part and the boy looked up to see a smile on Kristin's lips.

“Doc, can you hear me?” He paused for a moment. “Please Doc, open your eyes, please…”

When there was no response he sat down again dejectedly. Noyce briefly squeezed his hand and then continued with his story.

Kristin had been in darkness for so long that she thought she'd died, but suddenly it didn't seem to be as black as it was… Forcing herself into some sort of alertness she became aware of small things. The touch of a hand on hers, someone stroking it… She moved closer to the surface…

Someone talking… The warmth of the sun on her face… The voice becoming clearer and what she was hearing making her want to laugh. And then Lucas, calling to her… pleading with her to open her eyes.

She could hear the desperation in his voice and knew that something must be wrong - he needed her - and so she tried to lift her eyelids. They seemed heavy at first, but with a concentrated effort, she forced them open and found herself looking at the boy's tearful face.

Her arm seemed like lead but she managed to raise it from the bed and reached out to stroke his cheek.

Kristin was convinced that she used to be able to speak but nothing seemed to want to come out. She swallowed painfully and then managed to ask, “Lucas, what's wrong? Are you okay?”

He grabbed hold of her hand and held it tightly, “I am now.”

A movement from the other side of the bed attracted her attention and she turned her head expecting to see Nathan, but was greeted by Bill Noyce's grinning face. “Welcome back, Doctor. You gave us quite a scare.”

“Nathan?”

Lucas looked at Noyce who gave an almost imperceptible, shake of his head. “He'll be back in a minute Kristin, you just rest. Lucas, why don't you go and get Doctor Ashmore?”

“Bill?” The woman questioned softly.

“I said rest… Just close your eyes and sleep.”

Kristin nodded in agreement. She could sense that there was something wrong but couldn't seem to keep her eyes open. Giving up the struggle, she surrendered to the darkness once more.

It was night when she woke again. She could see by the light of the monitors that nothing had changed. Lucas was asleep with his head resting on his arms across the bed and Bill was sleeping in, what looked to be a very uncomfortable position, in his chair. Nathan was nowhere to be seen…

Experimentally, she lifted her arm and finding that it wasn't as difficult as the last time, gently stroked the boy's hair. When he stirred slightly she spoke his name - Good, even her voice was almost back to normal.

Bill leaned over and said, “Hello again, feeling better?”

“Yes, I think I am. Please Bill, where's Nathan?”

“Now don't you worry, he'll be here soon.”

Noyce's attempt to reassure her had the opposite effect. “Dammit Bill, I know there's something wrong - where is he?”

This time Lucas spoke up, “We don't know Doc. He took off after you were brought in - he was a mess…”

Bill interrupted, “How much do you remember, Kristin?” He reached over to get her some water and put the straw to her lips.

“I remember being on the island and feeling ill, I went to lie down for a while. There was a storm… Nathan went to secure the house...

 “I woke up very thirsty and tried to get to the bathroom for a drink of water and then everything went black.” She took another sip of the drink.

“When I opened my eyes again I was back in bed and Nathan's face, he looked so worried… I asked him to fetch my medical bag because I needed to check my temperature. I knew it was pretty high and I had to find out just how bad it was. My hands wouldn't stop shaking so I asked Nathan to do it for me.” She paused for a moment.

“His expression is something I'll never forget. I've never seen him afraid before but that was how he looked when he read the thermometer - my temperature was 103.8F.

“I told him that we had to get to a hospital but, if anything, his fear deepened. He said that there was a bad storm; that he'd called for help but no one could get out to us. He kept saying that it was Carol all over again, that he was going to lose me just as he had her. I had to get him to calm down. I told him that I was going to need his help to stay alive but I couldn't seem to get through.” She bit back a sob and forced herself to continue.

“I remember grabbing hold of his arm and digging my fingernails into his wrist to get his attention - I must have drawn blood…” She said sadly. “…But it seemed to work. I tried to reassure him that the situation wasn't the same because this time he had a trained Doctor with him, all he had to do was listen carefully and follow my instructions. To be perfectly honest I had no idea what was causing the fever or if anything could help me, but I needed to keep him focussed on something…

“I taught him every trick that I could remember for bringing down a high fever and he seemed to take it all in and then I asked him to hold me. He looked stricken… He said that that was what had happened the last time… that Carol had asked the same thing, but she had died…

“I kept reasoning with him. Telling him that it would be okay. He wanted me to promise that I wouldn't leave him but I didn't. I couldn't make a promise that it was doubtful I could keep. So I said that I loved him and that I didn't want to leave him… I promised I'd fight with every ounce of strength that I possessed to stay…” She stopped again trying to regain control and Lucas gave her another sip of water.

“From here on my memories are all jumbled. I remember cold and then hot… Realising that my temperature was still climbing. Feeling Nathan's arms around me, asking him to talk to me… Hearing him call my name and feeling his tears on my face… Thinking that I was going to die but being afraid to leave him… Afraid of what he might do.

“Cold washcloths on my forehead and then slipping further into the darkness. Being shaken but not wanting to respond… The panic in Nathan's voice as he tried to get me to open my eyes but being too tired to even try, and then nothing until I woke up here… Bill, tell me please…”

Noyce sighed and then nodded in agreement. She could hear Lucas sniffling in the background and reached out her hand to him. The boy accepted it eagerly.

“We managed to get to the island at first light - There was myself and a med-team aboard a U.E.O helicopter. When we landed a part of me didn't even want to get out - we had no idea what we'd find.” Bill's face took on a faraway look as though he were reliving every detail…

<< “I think that you'd better let me go in first,” he said to the U.E.O doctor who had accompanied him.

“But Sir…”

Noyce put his hand against the man's chest to stop him. “No. I said I'm going in alone. I'll call you when I need you.”

“Aye, Sir.” >>

“The house was in darkness. I could see a light coming from the bedroom and I made my way towards it. What I found…” He shuddered at the memory and took a deep breath.

“Nathan was lying on the bed with his eyes closed and hanging onto you for all he was worth. Your head was on his chest and the fingers of his right hand were woven into your hair cradling you to him protectively. His left arm was beneath you, curled around your body. Your left forearm was lying limply across his waist… You were completely still in his arms, your eyes closed and your face was almost grey.”

<< “Nathan?” >>

“He opened his eyes to look at me and the pain in them was almost palpable.”

<< “I think you're too late, Bill.”

“Oh God, I'm so sorry… We got here as soon as we could.”

“I know, I know… It's not your fault - it's mine. She told me what to do to help her but I let her down. I let her down just like I did Carol…”

“Nathan, I have a med-team here…” >>

“I went over to help him up but he wouldn't move.”

<< “I can't leave her, I promised. I promised I'd hold on to her… I promised I wouldn't let go…”

“You've kept your promise, old friend, Kristin knows that… Now it's time to let someone else take care of her for a while.” >>

“I took his arm and he resisted for a few seconds but all the fight seemed to have gone out of him and he finally moved aside. I called the med-team in and took Nathan out onto the beach for some fresh air - we sat down on the sand and watched the dawn.”

<< “It's all my fault Bill. She told me that I had to keep cooling her down but the pump stopped working and I didn't have any water… I couldn't take her down to the ocean because it was too dangerous. I let her down… She trusted me with her life and I let her down.” He shook his head sadly. “I let them both down.” >>

“Then he buried his head in his hands and I could see the sobs wracking his body. My first thought was ~ Oh God, he's never going to survive this ~ He loves you Kristin but it's more than love - I can't explain it. It's so much stronger than what he had with Carol…”

She reached out a hand and touched his gently, “I know, Bill… I feel the same.”

Bill nodded in acknowledgement and then continued his story. “I was about to say something pathetic to try and comfort him when one of the medics came running from the house.”

<< “Mr. Secretary, Sir. Captain, she's alive…! Just barely but she's still with us…” >>

“The next few minutes were a blur of activity as you were loaded into the helicopter and we took off as the medical guys worked over you… Nathan didn't speak throughout the entire flight, he just held onto your hand and nothing and no one was going to make him let go…

“We were in the hospital waiting area for hours and others came to join us… Janet, Lucas and even Commander Ford but the longer the wait, the more withdrawn Nathan became. When the Doctor came out of your room we all thought…” He paused again and Kristin realised just how badly he had been affected.

“The look on the Medic's face was grim and suddenly Nathan was gone… he ran out of the door and into the night - we haven't been able to find him.”

Lucas spoke for the first time in what seemed like hours…

“When the Doc told us you were going to be alright barring complications, I couldn't believe it, none of us could… He said that he'd found out…” He halted abruptly when Bill grabbed his arm and gave him a warning look. “…What was causing the fever and that it had broken. You'd be in critical condition for the next twenty-four hours but after that you should be out of the woods and regain consciousness within the next two days.

“I tried to find the Cap’ but I couldn't. I looked everywhere Doc, really I did.”

“I believe you Lucas. Tell me where you've been and I'll see if I can think of anywhere else.”

Both Lucas and Bill noticed the exhaustion in her voice and Lucas said, “We will Doc, but you need to get some rest first.” When she looked as though she was going to protest he added, “We'll find him, I promise.”

Her eyes closed but when her two visitors had left the room she opened them again and put her fist in her mouth to stifle a sob. “Oh God Nathan, I'm so sorry. Where are you my love…? Where are you…?”

Outside the door Lucas turned to face Bill Noyce, “You didn't tell her.”

“Lucas, Kristin has enough to deal with already. It's going to take her body quite a while to recover from this - and I think that her worry over Nathan will hinder her progress. The last thing she needs to hear is that someone deliberately infected her with a deadly virus.”

“I guess you're right.”

“I know I am. Now, let's go back to my house and get some sleep. We'll come back and talk to Kristin again tomorrow, maybe she'll have some idea where Nathan is…”

“Do you think that he's, well… okay?” He couldn't quite voice the thought that was running around his head but Noyce seemed to understand.

“I hope so, Lucas… Lord, I hope so.”

The wind was howling outside and the waves crashed against the rocks far below but Nathan was unaware of anything around him. When he'd fled from the hospital he'd wandered for hours and finally found his way here… His own secret haven - somewhere that he'd never told anyone about.

Bridger had come across the place quite by accident. He'd been out exploring the area surrounding his island one day, when he'd found this desolate place. It was no more than a glorified islet in the middle of the ocean. There was a small cove where he moored his boat and a steep climb to the top of a cliff. He'd been surprised to find a deserted hut at the top, which looked as though it had been used as an observation post during WWII.

He'd gradually made it habitable and used it when he wanted to be completely alone - no one ever found him here, no one knew of its existence…

He'd managed to start a fire and now he was sitting in an old chair and staring into the flames - memories flooding his mind…

His thoughts returned to the day Carol had died. She hadn't really been ill - well not noticeably so - and then the sudden fever… Not being able to get help… Holding her in his arms, feeling her heartbeat, listening to her breathing and then the sudden silence as her life ended… He felt the tears on his cheeks but made no attempt to brush them away.

Now in the flames he saw Kristin's face and he felt his gut clench just as it had when he found her on the bedroom floor…

She'd been so tired over the past few weeks, working much longer hours than were good for her, and he'd decided to take her away from everything for a while - give her a chance to rest. The irony of the situation suddenly hit him and he gave a mirthless laugh. Well she was certainly resting now…

They'd left Friday lunchtime for a long weekend, not planning to return until Monday and spent the afternoon walking, playing and making love on the beach. During the evening meal she had gone quiet and when he'd asked if she was all right, Kristin had mentioned a headache but said she was just tired…

He'd checked the forecast before they left and there had been no bad weather indicated but Bridger could hear the wind getting up outside - storms could blow up at a moment's notice in this area - so they remained inside, finding small tasks to occupy themselves. Finally, Kristin had apologised and said that she needed to lie down for a while. Nathan checked on her from time to time and found her sleeping - God knew she needed the rest.

The weather was worsening and so he'd gone around the house to ‘batten the hatches’ for the night, then he'd gone back to the bedroom and that's when he'd found her slumped on the floor. Lifting her into his arms he'd gently carried her back to bed and when he stroked the hair back from her forehead, he'd noticed the perspiration beaded there.

Kristin opened her eyes to look at him but she appeared completely disorientated, “Thirsty…”

Nathan brought her some water and helped her to sit, supporting her back as she drank. He fetched her med-kit and took her temperature - what he read scared the hell out of him - 103.8F. His first thought was ~ Oh my God, it's happening again… God, not again… please… please… I can't lose Kristin… I love her so much. ~

He could hear her talking to him but he couldn't understand what she was saying, his panic overwhelming him. And then he felt a sharp pain in his wrist, ~ that's it - focus on the pain ~ He managed to clamp down on his fear, gaining a tenuous control.

She was telling him what she wanted him to do. Cool her down… he knew all that, he'd done it with Carol but it hadn't worked… He took a deep breath, “Kristin please, I can't do this… I tried before it didn't work.”

“Nathan, listen to me. It's not the same situation. I'm a doctor remember…”

“But I did it before and…”

“What did you do?”

“I tried to cool Carol down. I used washcloths soaked in cold water to bathe her and I tried to keep her warm when she needed it… But it didn't work… It didn't work…”

Kristin could hear the panic and despair in his voice. “Listen.” She gripped his arm again, “Nathan, are you listening to me?” He nodded. “Okay, I don't think that damp cloths will work… I want you to fill the bath with cold water and if my temperature goes up any higher, I need you to put me in it.”

“But Kris, the shock could…”

“You let me worry about that. When you get me out just dry me off and put me back to bed. Keep monitoring my temperature and repeat the process when necessary. Have you got that?”

Silence…

“Nathan!”

“Yes, I've got it.”

“With a temperature this high I'm going to dehydrate very quickly so you need to get plenty of fluids into me. If I can drink then that's fine, if I can't you need to soak a clean cloth and squeeze it out onto my lips - if you can get the water into my mouth then so much the better…”

As he watched she began to lose consciousness. “Kris, stay with me Baby, please. I can't do this alone.”

“Yes you can. I'd trust you with my life any day Nathan Bridger.”

The tears were streaming from his eyes now, “Don't leave me Kris. Promise me you won't leave me… I can't survive without you. Promise me Baby.”

“I can't promise, my love, but I'll try… Now I need you to do one more thing - Hold me… please.”

He closed his eyes tightly and his hands clenched into fists.

~ No, no… It really was happening again. That's what Carol had wanted and she'd died… she died. And Kristin was going to die - he knew it. She knew it - that's why she wouldn't promise… Maybe it was infectious? Maybe if he held her close, breathed the same air, he would catch it too - then he could die with her… He wanted to die with her; he couldn't go on without her… She was everything - his heart, his soul; his life… ~

And so he pulled her tightly to his body and held on…

He'd put her into the cold water at least four times to cool her - it would work for a while and then her temperature would climb again. As he lifted her out for the fifth time her foot caught the chain and pulled the plug. By the time he'd put her down the water had drained away. He replaced the plug and turned on the tap - nothing happened… Running to the kitchen, he tried the sink - a couple of pints of water ran into the bowl, but then that dried up too.

Nathan was frantic… He knew that the pump had finally given out, he'd been meaning to fix it for ages and now it was too late. He pulled open the back door to see if he could get to the ocean but was driven back by the wind. Bits of debris were being blown around and he realised that it would be too dangerous for her outside.

For a moment he lost control. He sank to his knees, shaking with fear - at a complete loss to know what to do. All he could think was ~ Why me? What have I done to deserve this? Why me? ~ Then he heard Kristin calling his name and he struggled up from the floor and ran to her side.

Leaning over he brushed back her hair and watched as his tears fell onto her face. “I'm here, Baby. I'm here…” he said soothingly.

“So thirsty…”

“I know.” He left for a moment and headed back into the kitchen, pouring some of the water into a bottle for drinking and dropping two clean washcloths into the remainder to cool her.

Returning to the bedroom he slipped into the bed and pulled her as close to him as possible trying to infuse her with his own strength to help her through. Her fever raged on and he comforted her as best he could - sometimes she was perfectly coherent and at others lost in her own torment.

He was gently caressing her back when he heard her speak. “Talk to me, Nathan. I need to hear your voice…”

“What do you want me to talk about?”

“Anything… Everything… Tell me about you.”

And so he'd talked for what seemed like hours, about everything and nothing. He couldn't remember now what he'd said.

Her breathing was becoming more and more laboured and the sheets were soaked in perspiration. Reaching out for the washcloth he dabbed her face gently and then travelled down her neck and across her chest. She groaned in appreciation and he felt her hand touch his cheek. Fearfully he looked into her eyes…

“I love you, Nathan… I will always love you - remember that. Hold me, hold me tight and don't let go… Promise me you won't let go.”

“God, I love you, Baby. I've never loved anyone the way I love you.” He watched in horror as her eyes closed and she went limp in his arms. “Kristin! Kristin, open your eyes, Baby… please! Don't leave me here alone…”

His fear had taken control and he was shaking her to try to wake her, his fingers leaving red marks on her arms where he was holding her. “Kris… Please Baby… please…” But he knew in his heart that it was too late - her breathing and pulse were almost non-existent - and so he cradled her in his arms, held on tight and sobbed out his grief… That was how Bill had found him.

The next day had passed in a haze… Being told that she was alive but not quite believing it. Holding her hand and keeping his promise… Having her torn away from him at the hospital and knowing he'd never see her again.

The doctor's face as he'd come to tell them - not being able to focus on what was said but knowing by his expression that he'd lost her… So many dead - all his fault… He had to get away from everyone before he hurt them too. Had to go… Had to be alone - it had to stop… The hurt, the pain - all too much… All too much…

He suddenly jumped from the chair, knocking it over in his haste and ran out of the door. Absently he noticed that the wind had abated, walking to the cliff edge he stopped and closed his eyes to the pain inside him. The thoughts in his mind, the ache in his heart… Opening them again he looked down at the waves crashing below - one step, that's all it would take… Just one step and his torment would be over. He could join his beloved Kristin. Just one step…

In one of the spare rooms of Secretary-General Noyce's house Lucas was fidgeting around in the bed. No matter how he tried he couldn't get comfortable. The bed was huge, warm and soft but he still couldn't find a comfy spot.

It really wasn't the bed's fault it was his mind's - he just couldn't relax. When he closed his eyes he could see Bridger's face as it had looked that day in the hospital and it frightened him. Gone was the brave and decisive seaQuest captain and in his place was a distraught and terrified man - a man who had lost everything.

Lucas had never seen Bridger in that light before. Never really thought of him as being vulnerable and human. Of course he'd caught glimpses of the sensitive person hidden beneath but they had always been masked almost immediately. He'd also never realised how much one person could love another.

His parents’ relationship had been so different - they had hated each other ever since he could remember… shouting, screaming; blind hatred. Once he'd walked in on a particularly bad argument and seen his father hit his mother across the face… She had immediately retaliated, it had escalated into a free-for-all and he'd fled the room.

He'd thought that all relationships were like that - That was why, when the Captain and the Doc had got together, he'd been angry. They were the two people he cared about most in the world and he didn't want to watch as they tore each other apart. He'd never been more pleased to be proven wrong.

He'd watched their relationship deepen but instead of the acrimony, there was love and kindness, tenderness and support, fun and peace… They were kind and gentle with each other, touching, hugging and kissing - sometimes tenderly and others more intimate.

Lucas had even accidentally come upon them making love one day - when they were on Bridger's island. He'd left before the final act but the memory still lingered… Not the actual act but the obvious passion that they had for one another. Of course they argued, everyone did, they were both intense people… But, in the end, they'd call a truce and make up - no fight ever carried over to the next day.

Nathan had once confided to him, just how much he loved Kristin Westphalen and now he thought he'd lost her…

He recalled the sad man that he'd met at the beginning of seaQuest's tour - the man still grieving for the loss of his wife, but Bridger's face when the doctor came out to speak to them, was something else… Although he didn't want to even consider it he wondered if the captain had surrendered to his grief. Rolling over for what seemed like the thousandth time his thoughts turned the Doc…

Lucas had liked her from the moment they had first met. She didn't treat him like a nuisance as most people did. She always made time for him - time to talk, time to listen and often just to swim with him and Darwin. She was happy to explain whatever science project she was working on but more than that, the Doc was always willing to test his theories even if she already knew that they wouldn't work. Allowing him to learn for himself rather than dismissing him out of hand.

When he had interrupted the intimate moment between herself and Bridger, on the last day of seaQuest's tour, he had been surprised that she'd sought him out to try to explain her feelings to him. He'd never forgiven himself for being so rude to her, but she'd understood and accepted it for what it was… She'd always understood him, something his mother could never do - not that she'd really tried.

The sight of her when she arrived at the hospital had terrified him. He'd wanted to reach out and touch her - let her know he was there but they held him back. He hadn't ever had the courage to tell her how much she meant to him, he'd always been too embarrassed. And looking down at her on the gurney - the oxygen mask clamped over her face, the IV lines in her arm and the captain holding onto her and not wanting to let go… He was suddenly afraid that he'd never be able to, that she'd die before he could say everything that was in his heart.

He experienced again the overwhelming feeling of helplessness and wondered, if it was this bad for him, what it must have been like for Bridger. He could barely imagine the hell he'd gone through last night. The captain's face drifted into his mind again…

Lucas tried to focus on something else, he thought about the nicer things - The time they'd all been out on Bridger's island together… laughing in the surf, playing with Darwin…

He was awakened some time later by someone shaking his shoulder and a voice, calling his name - Bill Noyce. He was instantly alert, “What is it, Sir? Is it the captain?”

“No Lucas, we haven't found him yet - it's Kristin…”

“I don't understand.”

“I just received a call from the hospital. Her condition has deteriorated - the fever has returned.”

“But they said…”

“I know Lucas. We'll find out more when we get there. You get dressed and I'll organise the transport.”

“Yes, Sir.” The boy flew out of bed and frantically struggled into his clothes.”

She was in hell - she had to be… Her skin was on fire and she was so thirsty. And no one came to help her no matter how much she begged. Yes, it was definitely hell, but what terrible thing had she done to be here? She tried to think what it was but her memories were a jumble. Kristin was sure that she'd been here before - it was all so familiar but last time there was someone to help her. Someone trying to protect her… It had to be a mistake but how could she make them understand when she couldn't reach them…?

Suddenly there was something cool on her face and then her body - somebody was there… maybe it would be all right. It had to be all right - she had to find Nathan… He was lost somewhere and she was the only one who could find him…

Doctor Ashmore was waiting in the reception area of the hospital when the Secretary-General and Lucas arrived.

“What the hell happened Jim?” Noyce demanded.

“We don't know, Bill. We just don't know. We really thought that we had the virus licked but then it resurfaced with a vengeance. None of us are good enough geneticists to analyse the compound fully. Do you have anyone in the U.E.O who can do it?”

“Yes they do. She's lying in there.” Lucas said with a hint of sarcasm.

“If she comes through this we're going to have to tell her, Bill. We need her help.”

“I know, Jim but will she pull through?”

“I don't know.”

“You don't know much do you.” Lucas interjected bitterly and earned himself a scathing look from Noyce.

“The boy's right, we really don't know much.”

“Will she make it?” he asked again.

“Doctor Westphalen's a fighter, I'll give her that. But there's only so much the human body can take and she's close to the limit. It's ironic really… By rights she should have died on that island. Captain Bridger probably saved her life by doing what he did, but now it's not helping that she's worrying about him. The stress is really taking its toll on her immune system. Have you found him yet?”

“No. And to be perfectly honest, we're not even sure that he's still alive.” Bill heard Lucas gasp and turned to him. “I'm sorry Lucas but we have to face the possibility.”

“I know, Sir. It's just that this is the first time that anyone has actually put it into words. Can we see Doctor Westphalen please?”

“Yes, but I must warn you that it will be very distressing for you.”

“I understand.”

Ashmore hadn't been exaggerating - the sight that greeted them was heartbreaking… Kristin was tossing and turning in the bed, her face flushed with fever and her hair soaked with perspiration. The IVs were up again, feeding fluid back into her body. Every once in a while she would mumble incoherently and then cry out for Nathan to help her.

Suddenly Lucas understood the captain's reactions that first morning. It was all that he could do not to bolt from the room. ~ God, Bridger must have been out of his mind with worry, alone on the island - no one to help him. ~ His train of thought was broken by the Secretary-General...

“Lucas… Lucas, I have to call Janet. Will you be all right here for a moment?”

“Yes Sir, I'll be fine.”

“You're sure?”

The young man nodded.

When Noyce left the room he forced himself forward and taking one of the damp sponges from the nurse, wiped Kristin's brow and neck. Then he resumed his place at her side, took her hand in his and began to talk softly.

He told her everything that he had meant to say for so long - thanked her for her kindness and friendship and finally said that he loved her - praying that she could hear him.

Her voice was barely a whisper but he heard her say, “I love you too, Lucas. I love you too…”

When Noyce returned Lucas was crying silently.

Kristin wasn't sure which of the places she kept finding herself in, was the worst - the place where her body burned and everything was hot and clammy or the other place, where everything was cold and she yearned to be in the warm again. But this time it was different…

There was a chill breeze around her and she could hear the sound of waves crashing onto the rocks - this was a place of desolation and despair. In her mind she saw herself wandering around a small, sparsely furnished shack - the only light from a small fire. Kristin had never been here before but she knew this place - she knew it…

Moving outside it took a while for her eyes to adjust to the failing light - She was alone but something wasn't right. Then she caught a movement out of the corner of her eye and turned towards it - she wasn't alone after all. In the darkness she could make out a lone figure at the edge of the cliff. She moved a little closer, careful not to make a sound in case she frightened him. Yes it was a man, of that, she was certain. He was so close to the edge that any sudden movement would take him over. He was staring down at the ocean and she could see by the shaking of his shoulders that he was crying.

She inched forward a little at a time until she could make him out clearly…

“Nathan!”

Lucas and Noyce were asleep when Kristin suddenly sat bolt upright in the bed and screamed out Bridger's name. They both jumped; startled by the sound that shattered the silence of the room.

Bill leaned over to comfort her, “It's alright Kristin, everything's going to be alright. Go back to sleep.” He found his arm being held in a vice-like grip.

“I know where Nathan is. He needs help… Please Bill, you have to help him he's…” She paused for a moment gasping for breath. “The island… Bill, please…”

“Kristin, we have people on the island, he's not there. It was just a nightmare. Close your eyes and sleep.”

“Please, please…” she pleaded frantically, “Please call your people - ask them.”

“I'll be back in a minute.” Shaking his head sadly he headed out into the corridor.

Lucas picked up a damp sponge and mopped her forehead again.

“Lucas, please… I know where Nathan is.”

“I know Doc, the Secretary-General has gone to check.”

“No, you don't understand… There's another island nearby, Nathan told me about it. You remember I told you that I asked him to talk to me?”

The boy nodded.

“Well, he described in detail another island that he found…”

Lucas went to stand, “I'll tell Noyce, he'll have…”

She put a restraining hand on his arm. “No, you can't do that. It's a private place… one he's never told anyone about. I don't think that he'd want other people to know. Lucas, I need you to go - see if you can find him… He's in trouble, he needs help… please.”

“Okay Doc, I'll try - tell me…”

It was an uphill struggle just to keep her eyes open but she managed to tell him everything that she could remember. “Find Nathan… I'm afraid for him…” Her eyes closed and once again she descended into the fiery depths of hell.

A few minutes later Bill Noyce returned and moved straight to the bed. “Kristin, I've checked with…”

Lucas interrupted him, “It doesn't matter now, Sir… she can't hear you.”

With a resigned sigh the Secretary-General resumed his position at her bedside.

“Sir…”

“What is it?”

“Would it be possible for me to go out to the island tomorrow?”

“What for Lucas? I told you we have people there… Nathan hasn't returned.”

“I realise that but I just thought that I might be able to find something that they missed. I can't just sit here and watch Doctor Westphalen die. She is dying isn't she?”

“Yes, she is.” Noyce thought it over for a moment. ~ The boy hadn't left the doctor's side, except for a few hours, since she had been brought in almost a week ago and according to Ashmore, if the fever didn't break she had no more than twenty-four hours left. Perhaps it would be better if he wasn't here at the end… ~ “All right, I'll have someone fly you out there.”

“Thank you, Sir. I'll need to shower and change first though.” He said enthusiastically.

“When you're ready go to U.E.O. Headquarters, I'll have a pilot standing by to take you out there.” Lucas stood to leave, “And Lucas…”

“Yes, Sir?”

“I hope you find him.”

“Me too.” With a last glance at the woman in the bed he headed out into the fresh air.

The weather was grey and overcast and Lucas had been out in the boat for hours. At first he had been convinced that there was indeed an islet out there, but now he was beginning to think that maybe it had been a fever-induced hallucination. A gentle but steady rain was beginning to fall from the sky and he knew that he should head back to face the music.

He'd managed to give the U.E.O guys on the island the slip and headed to a secluded cove where Bridger kept his spare boat, in case of emergency - rowing out quite a way before he started the engine. By the time he was missed the boat was completely out of sight.

“I'm sorry Doc, I tried.” His attention was drawn to a movement in the water nearby and as he watched, a familiar dorsal fin broke the surface. “Darwin! Darwin, am I glad to see you!”

He swam to the side of the boat.

“Darwin, I need to find Bridger. Can you take me to him?” When the dolphin gave no sign that he'd understood he continued, “Please, it's important… He's the only one who can save the Doc.”

He took off at speed with Lucas following close behind.

Everything was as Kristin had described it - the cove, the steep climb to the top of the cliff, the shack… everything.

Lucas slipped quietly inside and saw Bridger slumped in a chair, in front of the fireplace - the fire having long-since gone out. He approached cautiously… The captain's eyes were closed but his chest rose and fell rhythmically. The boy breathed a sigh of relief. He was torn between waiting for Bridger to wake on his own or waking him himself. Since it had taken nearly all day to find the place and daylight was fast running out, he settled on the latter.

He was completely unprepared for the captain's reaction and found himself flying across the room to land in a heap by the door. “Next time I think I'll knock…”

Judging by the fact that he still had his sense of humour, Nathan decided that he wasn't hurt. “Sounds like a good idea. What do you want?” He helped the boy to stand, already knowing the answer.

“I came to ask you to come back with me.”

“No.”

“But Cap’ there's someone who needs you…”

“I don't care. There's nothing for me to go back to. There's no point to life without her.”

“Sir, she isn't…”

Bridger didn't let him finish. “Go away Lucas. Leave me alone to do what I have to do.”

Lucas understood his meaning immediately, “If, as you say, there's no point in living then why are you still here? Why haven't you just jumped off the cliff or something?”

“Believe me, I've thought about it - I've thought about it practically every moment when I haven't been thinking about her.”

“Then why haven't you?”

“Because…” Bridger said sadly, “…it would be over too quickly and I deserve to suffer… After everything they went through because of me. I deserve to suffer as they did before they died…”

“But you're wrong, Doctor Westphalen…”

Lucas saw the profound sadness in his eyes at the mention of her name.

“Kristin died because I let her down. Please go Lucas… leave me alone.” As an afterthought he added. “How did you find me anyway? I'd hoped that no one would - no one knew about this place.”

The boy saw the opening he had been looking for. “One person did.”

“No, I didn't tell anyone. This was my sanctuary, I wouldn't…” He trailed off, trying to remember, staring at the hearth which was as empty as his heart. “I didn't tell anyone.” He reiterated.

“Yes you did Sir, and she told me.”

Bridger thought harder, a puzzled frown on his face, and then shook his head.

“You told Doctor Westphalen… that night on the island, when she asked you to talk to her. You told her about it and she told me.”

Hope flowered for a moment. “Kristin?”

“She's alive Sir, she's very ill but she's alive… or was when I left this morning. Come back with me Captain, please, the Doc needs you.”

“No, Lucas, she doesn't. I'll only let her down again.”

“You didn't let her down.” He replied - a touch of exasperation in his voice. “The doctor who's looking after her said that you saved her life.”

When he didn't speak Lucas continued. “He said that if it hadn't been for your actions, the Doc would have died on the island.”

Bridger's only response was the sad shake of his head.

“Please Sir, she really is alive and she does need you.”

“Go back to her. Take care of her for me. I'm no good to her - I've caused the deaths of everyone I've ever loved. Kristin will have a better chance without me there.”

Lucas was angry now. “So let me get this straight - there's a woman who's crazy about you and whom you're supposed to love, lying in a hospital bed fighting for her life. Spending all of her remaining strength worrying about you instead of concentrating on herself and all you're going to do is hide out here and wallow in self-pity! Is that it?”

“Pretty much.”

“Well then maybe you're right… Perhaps she is better off without you - perhaps we all are!” He could see the look of intense pain on Bridger's face but he continued on resolutely. “I guess it's going to be a toss up as to which gets her first, expending all her energy worrying about you or the bastard that tried to kill her in the first place! Goodbye Sir.”

He turned to leave but halted when the captain said in a choked voice “What did you say?”

“I said, I don't know what will kill her first…”

“No, the last part.”

“Oh, I forgot, you didn't know did you? If you'd stayed that first day, instead of running out on her…”

“Lucas, please…” Bridger's voice was agonised and the boy relented.

“When the doctor came out to talk to us he said that they'd found a toxic substance in the Doc's blood, one that was causing the fever. He said that someone had deliberately infected her… Someone tried to kill her, Sir.”

There was silence between them for a few minutes and then Bridger let out a sigh and rubbed his hands tiredly over his face. “How did you get here?”

“I came in the small boat. Darwin helped me.”

He nodded. “We'll take mine, it's quicker. I'm guessing that there are U.E.O personnel on the island that can get us back to the mainland?”

“Yes, Sir! The Secretary-General had them stationed there when you first disappeared. In fact, he has people everywhere.” He paused for a moment. “I never realised before but he really is a nice guy underneath isn't he?”

“Yes he is… when he's not being pompous and…”

“He's been at the hospital almost from the first day, only leaving when he really had to. He's been…”

“Doing what I should have.” Bridger said disgustedly.

“Yes, Captain… he has.”

Noyce looked over to the door as Lucas entered. “Where the hell have you been young man?”

“Well Sir, I…”

“Never mind, Lucas. It's not important right now.” He said sadly.

“How is she, Sir?”

The Secretary-General shook his head and he noticed that Bill's face seemed to have aged considerably since he'd been gone. “She's deteriorating rapidly, Ashmore says that she probably won't regain consciousness. They've done everything they can - it's just a matter of time… I just wish Nathan was here.”

“I am here Bill.”

“Nathan, thank God. You look like hell by the way.”

“You don't look too good yourself.”

“No, I guess not.” He stood up from his chair. “Well, I think I'm going to stretch my legs. Lucas, would you care to join me for something to eat?”

“I'm not hungry, Sir.”

“Well join me anyway.” He motioned to the door with his head. “You can explain how you managed to give my best men the slip.”

As Noyce moved past Nathan he put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Nathan…”

“I know Bill, and thank you.”

“You're very welcome, old friend.”

When he was finally alone Bridger moved over to the bed and, with more than a little trepidation, looked down on Kristin's face. Even though her body was ravaged by fever and her hair was soaked in perspiration, she was still the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. A wave of tenderness washed over him and he sat down on the chair that Bill had just vacated and took her hand in his.

He could see by the monitors that she was in critical condition. Her life-signs were chaotic, almost as though they were reflecting her inner struggle.

She tossed and turned on the bed, mumbling and moaning. Suddenly the noises he heard began to make sense… “Nathan, where are you? I need you…”

“I'm here Baby. I'm here.”

“You promised. You said you wouldn't let go but you did. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to leave you… I tried… I tried.”

“I know Kris, it's okay. Quiet now… just rest.”

She seemed to quieten at the sound of his voice and he reached for a sponge, brushing it across her forehead, down her neck and over her chest - just as he had on the island. Suddenly her life-signs plummeted and the monitors let out a shrill alarm.

“Oh God, hold on Baby, please hold on…”

The door flew open and the doctor that he'd seen on the first day came running in, accompanied by a nurse. He adjusted one of the IV lines and the alarm ceased abruptly. “Captain Bridger, I presume?”

He nodded unable to speak.

“It's alright - that happens from time to time.”

Nathan finally recovered his power of speech, “Is there any chance?”

“I don't think so, I'm sorry. Look we'll leave you alone with her… We've done everything we can. She's a very courageous lady.”

“Yes, she is.” Bridger agreed. ~ Much more so than I ~ he added mentally.

“If you need anything just push the buzzer.”

“Yes.” He said distractedly. “Thank you.”

He turned back to the woman, who was becoming fretful again. Raising his hand he stroked her cheek, “Shh… it's okay Baby… It will all be over soon. Hush now.” He noticed, with a sense of déjà-vu that his tears were falling on her face.

Momentarily she began to speak again - just as before, incoherent at first and then more intelligible. “Hold me Nathan. Hold me tight… I need to feel you close to me. I'm scared, I'm so scared…”

Without a moment's hesitation he climbed into the bed beside her and took her in his arms, pulling her close to his body. He heard her whisper, “I love you… I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Baby. I'm sorry that I let you down… I'm so sorry. But I'm here now and I promise that I won't let go - not this time.” He placed a tender kiss on her forehead and heard her moan in response, then she snuggled tightly into his side and rested her hand on his chest just over his heart.

It was quite some time later when the duty nurse came in to check on her patient and what she saw almost broke her heart. Doctor Ashmore came in behind her and she asked. “Should I wake him, Sir? It's against hospital regulations for him to be in the bed like that.”

“Nurse, just look at those monitors - when was the last time you saw them so steady?”

“I know Doctor, but…”

“Leave them Nurse. We didn't see a thing.”

“Yes, Doctor.”

Bridger awoke as the dawn began to break in the sky. At first he had no idea where he was but, as full-awareness returned, so did an overwhelming panic - the room was silent.

~ Silent? The monitors - where was the sound of the monitors? ~

He could feel the weight of Kristin's body against his and slowly he opened his eyes - terrified of what he might find. His first thought was that she had died in his arms just like Carol and he knew, if that were the case, then this would be the last dawn he would ever see.

Nathan adjusted his position slightly so that he could look at the woman cradled against him - The IV lines were missing too ~ Oh God. No… ~ And then she stirred, moving closer to him. He closed his eyes again and squeezed them tightly shut… ~ Thank you, thank you, thank you… ~ The two words ran through his mind over and over and he could feel the tears seeping out through his lashes to run down onto the pillow. When he finally opened them again, the sight took his breath away…

Kristin was looking up at him, a sleepy smile on her face. She reached up to brush the tears from his face and he leaned into the caress, wanting to savour every second. “Are you okay?”

A slight smile touched his lips. “Shouldn't I be asking you that?”

“Mmm hmm.”

“Oh God, Kris.” He pulled her even tighter to his body, needing to feel her alive and breathing in his arms. “I'm so sorry, Baby… I'm so sorry I let you down. I promised not to let go but I did…” He was silenced by the touch of her fingers against his mouth.

“It's alright, Nathan, I understand.”

“But I should have stayed. I should have been here for you instead of running away…” His tears had turned into sobs.

“You're here now - that's all that matters.” She kissed his lips lovingly.

A kiss, which Nathan willingly returned with one of his own  - a kiss of gratitude, joy and devotion. They were interrupted by Jim Ashmore's voice in the doorway…

“Good, I see you decided to stay with us.”

Nathan gently disengaged his body from hers and stood up.

“I have a few checks that I'd like to run,” The Doctor continued. “Captain, why don't you go freshen up and get some breakfast?” Bridger hesitated. “There are two people outside who'll be happy to see you.”

He felt Kristin's hand on his arm, “Go ahead Nathan, I'll be here when you get back.”

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart.”

“Okay.”

It was almost an hour later when he returned and Kristin was sleeping peacefully for the first time since she'd been brought in. Nathan sat by her side and just watched her, completely oblivious to the passage of time.

The sound of the door being opened invaded his mind and he turned to face it. Noyce, Lucas and Ashmore entered together and Lucas asked, “How is she Captain?” and made his way over to the bed.

“Sleeping. She's much better.”

Ashmore interrupted, “Captain, we need to talk.”

Bridger nodded and moved to join them, “Stay with her, Lucas.”

Sensing that he was reluctant to leave her again the doctor said, “We can talk here if you like.”

“I'd like.”

Bill Noyce spoke first, “Nathan, we need Kristin's help. We have to know what this virus is that's making her so ill.”

“She needs to rest.”

“We know that Captain but we also need the information. Doctor Westphalen is okay for the moment but the fever will re-establish itself.” Bridger opened his mouth to reply but Ashmore put up a warning hand and continued, “Every time it does it gets progressively worse. I guarantee that she won't survive another attack.”

“I realise that Doctor,” Nathan acknowledged. “But can't it wait for a few hours? She's so tired…”

“Nathan,” Bill began but stopped when another voice entered the conversation.

“It's alright, I'm awake - for now. What is it? What's wrong?”

Noyce and Ashmore spent the next half-hour explaining to Kristin exactly what had happened. At one point she had grabbed onto Nathan's hand and held it fast. “You're saying that someone tried to kill me?”

“It looks that way Doc.” Lucas affirmed.

Her eyes closed and Bridger was up out of his seat immediately and bending over her. “Kristin? Kristin are you alright?”

She opened them again and flashed him a tentative smile. Squeezing his hand she said, “I'm fine… Just very, very tired.

“I'm sorry Doctor, but we need you to look at our findings.”

“Okay.” She raised her hand lethargically to take the readouts and Lucas handed her glasses to her. A few minutes later she let out a hollow laugh.

“Kristin, do you recognise it?” Bill questioned.

“Oh yeah.”

“Is there an antidote?” Nathan asked anxiously.

“Yes there is…” She gave a resigned sigh.

Lucas had a question of his own. “Do you have any idea who the bastard was who created this?” He spat out venomously.

“Yes, Lucas… I did.” They had half expected her to say Zellar.

“You Doc! But I thought that…”

Kristin patted the boy's arm. “It's alright… it's not what you think.”

“Kris, do you want to continue this later? You need to rest.” Nathan interjected, his voice filled with concern.

“No, it's okay. We might as well get this finished. If I go to sleep now, it'll be like trying to wake the dead.” She heard Bridger's sharp intake of breath. “I'm sorry.” She lifted his hand to her lips and kissed it softly.

“The formula was created to kill a bacteria which was eating away at our coral reefs. It was very successful but I knew that it could be deadly in the wrong hands. When the Military approached me…” She gave Noyce an accusing glance. “…and asked if it could be used as a biological weapon I destroyed all my notes and the remaining compound.”

“Then I don't understand.” Lucas jumped in. “If you destroyed it then where did it come from?”

Understanding suddenly hit her like a lightning bolt and she shuddered.

“Kris?”

“When I took up my position as head of the Research Facility we had a call to say that the problem with the coral had flared up again, so I recreated the original virus.”

“But if you destroyed all your research how…” Lucas interrupted.

“I may have destroyed my notes but the formula was still in here.” She touched her forehead.

“Who else knew of your work?” Noyce asked.

“The only other person…” Kristin answered sadly, “…was my Deputy, Grant Adams.”

“But why would he want to kill you?” Nathan questioned his voice agonised.

“That may be my fault.” Bill admitted. “He was next in line for the position as Head of Research but I offered the job to Kristin. He must have taken it badly.”

“That's a bloody understatement.” Bridger snapped.

Ashmore finally broke the silence “You said there was an antidote Doctor. Can you remember it?”

Kristin nodded. “Do you have a pen?”

When she had written down everything that the Medical team needed to know, she turned to Nathan and took his hand. “Nathan, there's something you should know - the side-effects from this are going to be pretty horrendous… If you want to leave I'll understand.”

“No Kris, I left you once before - I won't do it again.”

“You're sure? It's not going to be pleasant.”

“I'm sure. Lucas, you go home with Bill. I'll keep you informed.”

The boy was about to protest but Kristin interrupted him. “Go Lucas, it'll be okay, I promise.”

“But Doc, I'm…”

“Hey, have I ever broken a promise that I've made to you?”

“No.”

“Well then you go and say ‘hello’ to Darwin for me.”

“Yes, Ma'am.” He bent over and kissed her forehead.

“I'll see you later, Kristin.”

“Okay Bill and thank you for everything.”

“You're very welcome. Be well.” He said as he gave her a peck on the cheek.

Bridger walked down onto the beach carrying two glasses and watched with amusement as Kristin frolicked in the water with Darwin, the familiar feeling of protectiveness welled up inside him. He had never loved anyone the way that he loved this woman and it still amazed him that she cared for him as well. The sound of her laughter reached his ears and he sat down on the blanket, his legs unable to support him anymore. It was so good to hear and he relished every moment. He lay down and let his thoughts wander.

They had decided to come back to his island when she had left hospital, partly for the peace and quiet to allow her to recuperate and partly to lay some old ghosts. Bridger had been dreading it at first, the memories too fresh in his mind, but he knew that she needed the tranquillity that the place offered.

The antidote had made her terribly ill… He'd gently rubbed her back as she threw up over and over and held her to him soothing her and talking quietly as the pain from the stomach cramps and muscle spasms wracked her body. They hadn't been able to give her any analgesia or sedatives for fear that it would impair the work of the anti-virus.

It had gone on for three days and there were times when Bridger thought he would go out of his mind… Watching her writhing in agony and not being able to help her was pure hell. He understood now why she had sent Lucas away. However, on the fourth day she turned the corner and soon all traces of the virus had disappeared from her system - it had been plain sailing from then on.

She still tired easily and she was very pale and a little too thin but her spirits were high and the fun-loving Kristin had returned…

He was brought out of his reverie by the feel of a wet body pressing against him. “Did you enjoy your swim?”

“Uhm hmm… Nathan, are you all right? You seemed miles away.”

“I'm fine, but I can think of something that will make me feel even better.”

“What's that?” She asked playfully.

“Just this…” He wove his fingers through her hair and pulled her face down to his - His lips meeting hers in a passionate kiss. “God, I love you Baby.” Even as he said it he knew that the words weren't adequate to describe how he felt.

He held her to his chest with one arm and the other reached out to push the play button on the CD. “I've never been very good with words Kris, but I found this song the other day and the singer says everything so much better than I ever could.
 

 You are the candle, love's the flame
 A fire that burns through wind and rain
 Shine your light on this heart of mine
 Till the end of time

 You came to me like the dawn through the night
 Just shinin’ like the sun
 Out of my dreams and into my life
 You are the one, you are the one

 Chorus:

 Said I loved you but I lied
 Cause this is more than love I feel inside
 Said I loved you but I was wrong
 Cause love could never ever feel so strong
 Said I loved you but I lied

 With all my soul I've tried in vain
 How can mere words my heart explain
 This taste of Heaven so deep so true
 I've found in you

 So many reasons in so many ways
 My life has just begun
 Need you forever, I need you to stay
 You are the one, you are the one

 Repeat chorus

 You came to me like the dawn through the night
 Just shinin’ like the sun
 Out of my dreams and into my life
 You are the one, you are the one

 Repeat chorus

 Said I loved you
 But this is more than love I feel inside
 Said I loved you… but I lied
 

As the words faded away Bridger captured her mouth in another long and loving kiss. He felt a wave of desire engulfing him and his tongue caressed her lips, seeking entry; desperate to find its mate. As the sun began to set they made love with a gentle tenderness and he was unable to stem the tears of joy that flowed from his eyes as they joined and became one - in mind, body and soul.


 

**** The End ****