It was late and Nathan Bridger was tired-- so very tired. He moved listlessly down the corridor to his cabin feeling the horrible weight of command bearing down on his shoulders more than ever before. The last few days had seemed like long years to him.

Terrorists had seized a small undersea mining complex and the seaQuest had been sent in to handle the situation. By the time it was all over, four hostages and three terrorists were dead-- all snuffed out because of his order.

Lord, he felt so old.

He stepped into his cabin and closed the door behind him, listening to it shut with a heavy click. Expecting to find Kristin waiting for him Nathan was disappointed to find his quarters empty. He sighed heavily, remembering that she had told him that morning that she was working the late shift. Wearily, he went to the head and took a long hot shower. When he emerged, he was wearing clean sleep wear, and climbed beneath cool sheets on his bunk.

Even as tired as he was, Nathan found it difficult to sleep. He lay awake, studying the ceiling, his mind filled with a myriad of thoughts.

How many lives had been cut short because of the decisions he'd had to make in the course of his military career?

When he fell asleep much later, one question was on his mind: What would the world have been like if he'd never been born?

Nathan found himself engulfed in a heavy mist. Bewildered and befuddled he looked around him but could see nothing but the mist. Suddenly, the mist before him parted and Nathan saw a figure encased in pale, shimmering garments moving towards him, and as the figure neared, he saw that it was a young woman. She was tall and slender, graceful in her every move and gesture, and her head was crowned by a riotous tumble of long russet curls. Laughing blue eyes enhanced the delicate features of her countenance. She seemed ever- familiar to him and yet Nathan was sure that he had never met her.

"Hello Nathan." she smiled and her voice was accented and musical

"Who are you? Where am I?" he questioned warily.

"My name is Elora," she responded quietly. "I am an angel and I am here to answer your question."

"What question? I don't understand. " Nathan said.

"When you fell asleep there was a question on your mind. I am here to answer that question."

"Am I dreaming?" he dead panned.

Elora gave him an enigmatic smile and held out a slender hand. "Come with me Nathan." she instructed sweetly.

"Where?" he asked curiously as he took her hand.

"To see what the world would be like if you had never been born." she replied.

Nathan followed the young woman into the mist. "Our first stop." she said quietly as they appeared in the living room of a lavishly-decorated mansion. He gasped as he recognized the stylishly dressed woman who entered the room.

"Carol," he breathed, he turned his gaze to Elora "Can she see us?" he asked anxiously.

"No," Elora replied. " No one we see on this journey will know we are here."

Nathan nodded in resignation and turned his eyes back to the woman who had once been his wife. She had crossed the room to the bar and had poured herself a drink. His eyes scanned her, drinking in her designer clothes, her short blonde hair and heavily made up features.

"So," he sighed, crossing his arms, " without me in her life Carol is still alive."

"All is not as it appears Nathan." Elora contradicted softly.

They watched for several minutes more, viewing Carol's downing of drink after drink. Nathan eventually turned sad eyes on his guide. "She's an alcoholic." he said, stating the obvious.

"Yes," Elora replied. "Carol Bridger had a few short years of life but those years, for the most part, were happy and fulfilling. Carol Rogers, however, has not had such a life. She had found escape in this manner, hoping to dull the pain of her dismal and lonely existence. She may appear to our eyes as alive, but her soul is dead."

"What about Bobby?"

"Robert Bridger never knew life." Elora answered softly.

"Does she," Nathan said, gesturing at the drunken Carol. " have any children?"

"No." Elora responded quietly. "Come, Nathan-- there is more to see."

With one last glance at Carol and her self-imposed misery, he followed Elora into the mist.

They reemerged in a dark and dismal room, riddled with shadows. Nathan caught sight of a figure in a shadowed corner, obviously in the throes of a drug-induced high. "Lucas!" he gasped. "What happened to him?" he demanded of Elora, alarmed.

"You were not there to encourage his genius or to be a father to him. There was no seaQuest, no place for him to belong or feel at home. Thus, he turned to the streets and the life they offered." Elora noted sadly, leading Nathan away.

They moved once again, this time they appeared on a vessel that was very unlike seaQuest-- a war ship from stem to stern.

Nathan was not surprised to see who the captain of his vessel was. "Stark." he muttered coldly. He was, however, surprised to see several of his own crew aboard and how much they were different. O'Neil and Ortiz were not the same galavanting young men that were serving under his command. But the biggest difference, however, was with Jonathan Ford. The man who stood next to Stark and carried out her grisly orders was cold, sadistic and cruel, so very unlike the Ford he knew.

"We must go." Elora murmured softly "There is still much to see, and very little time."

All the other lives Elora showed Nathan were different from the ones that he knew and cared for. Katherine Hitchcock was a prostitute on the streets of New York City. Ben Krieg was the captain of a vessel that tried to rebel against NORPAC's military forces. Bill Noyce was still a Navy man, through and through, but he had become as evil a man as Nathan had tried to prevent him from becoming.

Janet Noyce had left Bill because of that evil, and now faced persecution from him. And Malcolm Lansdowne was back in his role of political pirate, only more so, because there was no one there to temper his actions.

"We have one more stop to make," Elora stated quietly. "We must visit one life that has been affected the most by you never having been born."

Nathan found himself in the bathroom of a small apartment, watching a woman complete her morning toilette. She got up from her seat in front of the vanity, and he gasped in horror. *Kristin! No, this couldn't be Kristin!*

This version of his beloved Kristin was pale and listless, almost to the point of lifelessness. Her auburn hair had gone so grey that only traces of its former beauty remained. Her sable eyes were dull, showing no traces of the feisty sparkle that he knew. On one side of her face were wrinkles borne of exhaustion and horrible pain, suffered and endured for years on end. And on the other side.... He shuddered, wondering what could cause such an ugly scar. The scar covered most of her face, from forehead to chin.

This apparition of Kristin slowly donned a coat and then worked a light scarf so that it would cover the disfigurement, and then fumbled for the door handle.

Nathan and Elora followed the broken woman on her walk to her private laboratory. Kristin avoided groups of people as much as she could, even to the point of jaywalking to avoid crossing with others at intersections. A policeman, sitting on his vehicle on one of the streets waved to her, knowing her fear and respecting her morning routine. She waved back with as close to a smile as she could manage and continued on.

A gust of wind flared up, blowing her scarf away to land at the feet of an office worker and his daughter. The little girl, trying to be helpful, picked up the scarf and took it back to Kristin. "You dropped this, ma'am." she said politely trying not to back away.

"Thank you." Kristin murmured softly, taking the fabric from the child.

"You're welcome," the girl said bolting back to her father's side. As the family passed Kristin, the girl asked. "Daddy, why is her face like that?" She glanced back at the scarred woman and stared at her for a long time as her father led her away.

"People can be so cruel," Nathan snapped , wishing he could comfort the distraught Kristin. Elora merely nodded her agreement. "What happened to her?" he asked as he watched her trying to cover the scar.

"Commandoes raided an underwater research station that she was working at. She was held hostage and then caught in the crossfire as NORPAC tried to retake the station. There was no UEO to help pay fro her reconstructive surgery and no seaQuest for her to go to finish her work." Elora said turning away from the scene.

High-school aged teenagers were playing 'keep-away' with Kristin's scarf, while she covered her face in shame, trying to retrieve her scarf.

"Please-- no more," Nathan cried in anguish, turning pain-filled eyes to Elora. She nodded her concurrence and the mist rose up around them, blocking the painful scene

"There is one more thing for you to see." Elora said softly.

"No, I've seen enough." Nathan snapped.

"You must."

The mist parted and from it strode a young man leading a small girl by the hand. Elora crossed to them and stood beside the newly arrived duo. Nathan was shocked by the resemblance of the three-- it was obvious that they were siblings. Elora and the young man appeared to be the same age and all three sported auburn hair and blue eyes.

"We are your children Nathan." Elora said softly. "The children you would have had with Kristin. But since you never existed, neither did we."

Nathan looked over the trio and now knew why Elora had seemed so familiar. She had Kristin's delicate features and he realized she even moved with the same effortless grace that Kristin was gifted with.

"Your life has touched many." Elora said as she stepped forward, closing the distance between them. "Many lives have been changed for the better because of your influence. Never think that your life is unimportant and don't ever feel guilty for the decisions you make in the course of your duties. Those people who died, and will die, do so because it is their time to leave mortality. Their journey had come to an end. It was not because of any decision you made."

"Thank you." Nathan gave her a smile, finally truly understanding.

"You're welcome," Elora said, returning the smile. " I was sent to you to show you that your life is very important to those around you. Always remember that. Now it is time for you to return."

Nathan nodded. "I suppose then that I'll be seeing you again?"

"Yes, "Elora smiled "You will be seeing me again, very soon."

Elora's softly accented voice was still ringing in his ears when Nathan awoke. *Had it only been a dream?*  Nathan thought as he opened his eyes.

He smiled softly when he felt the familiar warmth at his side. Rolling over, he looked down at the woman curled up next to him. Reaching out, he tenderly brushed the hair from her face. As he watched her sleep, Nathan could not imagine her ever being the lonely broken-spirited woman that had been shown to him. As if sensing his scrutiny, Kristin stirred and opened her eyes.

"Hi," she whispered with a smile, her voice thick and heavy with sleep.

"Hi yourself. I didn't mean to wake you." he said softly pressing a kiss tenderly to her forehead.

"You didn't-- I wasn't really asleep." she replied and rolled into his embrace. Nathan pulled her tight against him and she settled her head in the warm curve of his neck and shoulder.

After a moment she spoke again in a soft voice. "Nathan, I was going to tell you this tomorrow, but since you're awake I suppose I'll tell you now."

"Tell me what?" he asked, curious and apprehensive at once.

Kristin lifted her head from his shoulder and looked down into his eyes. "I got some news today and I'm not exactly sure...."

"Kristin, are you pregnant?" he asked softly.

Her sable eyes widened in surprise and she nodded. "Yes. How did you know?" she inquired.

"An angel told me." he said softly.

"Excuse me?" she retorted, giving him a puzzled look.

"It was just a dream I had." he replied with a shrug.

She nodded, a ghost of a smile flittering over her lips "I had Joshua run some tests and everything appears to be normal. It's inconclusive but he thinks that I may be carrying twins."

Nathan smiled softly. *You are* he thought remembering the young man who had stood beside Elora. "Elora is a pretty name." he muttered softly.

"If it's a girl." Kristin interjected with a soft smile.

"It will be, I just have this feeling."

"I take it, then, that you are happy about this." she asked, flashing him a tender smile.

"Oh yes." he replied, cupping her face. "I'm very happy."

"Me too. Scared to death-- but very happy." she echoed, nestling her head back in the curve of his neck and shoulder.

*Thank you Elora* Nathan thought as he pulled the woman closer.