Lucas Wolenczak stared across the crowded courtroom, and mustering all his courage, met the tortured gaze of the man who'd just been sentenced to forty years in a minimum security UEO prison for murder.  There was pandemonium amongst the occupants of the aforementioned room, and camera flashes exploded as Captain Nathan Hale Bridger was led away in hand-restraints.  Without hesitation, Lucas rushed forth and gripped the polished railing.

"You bastard!  I hope you rot in there!"  Lucas screamed with raw emotion.

Nathan paused mid-stride and turned to face Lucas.  He sighed dejectedly and whispered, "I'm sorry.  I'm so very sorry."

If he'd hoped to pacify the young man with the quietly spoken apology, then he was mistaken.  "Sorry?  You're sorry?  You think that's going to erase what you've done?  You think that's going to bring her back?"

Nathan was rescued from responding by Jonathan Ford, who stepped up behind Lucas and placed a restraining hand upon his arm. "Let's go Lucas."

Lucas opened his mouth to protest, but thought better of it when he saw the steely resolve in the Commander's eyes.  With one last hateful glare at Bridger, the youth allowed himself to be led away into the bright afternoon sun, ignoring the pained expression on the older man's face.  As the cool March air touched his features, he spotted Cynthia MacKenzie talking to reporters on the sidewalk in front of the courthouse.

"You ok, Lucas?"

The young man glanced into the chocolate eyes of his friend and nodded.  "I'm fine."

"Look, some of us are going to head over to-"

"I've got things to do."  Lucas interrupted.

"What things?"  Ford asked suspiciously.

"Personal things."  Lucas stressed as he started to descend the marble stairs.

Jonathan watched him go in concern and sighed.  The past four months had been hard on all the SeaQuest crew, but it had been pure hell for Lucas.  He couldn't imagine what the young man was going through, but it was apparent that he didn't want any help.  And Ford knew better than to force himself on the grieving boy.  He smiled a little as Lucas approached Cynthia and enveloped her into a long embrace.  The two had grown very close since the start of the trial, each becoming a support system to the other.

"Jonathan, you ready to go?"  A very somber Joshua Levin asked from his elbow.

Ford tossed one last look at Lucas and nodded his head.  "Yeah, let's get out of here."

Lucas clutched the lavender tulips in his hand and gingerly knelt before the well-kept grave.  He smiled gently as he fingered the cool marble headstone and traced the engraved letters.  He dropped his hand to the wilted flowers in the small vase and removed them swiftly, placing them to the side.  Lucas then carefully arranged the new flowers, Kristin's favorites, in the empty crystal container and sat back on his haunches.

As he did every time he visited the small graveyard, he began to talk to Kristin.  "He was sentenced today.  He'll die in there... better than he deserves, but it'll work."  Silence greeted him as it had every other time and he sighed audibly.  It wasn't like he expected her to respond, but he missed the sound of her voice, more than he ever thought possible.

He moved his eyes to the horizon and stared wistfully across the ocean.  Kristin had wished to be buried by the ocean, not in England as everyone expected, but off the coast of Florida where she'd spent most of her professional life.  He plucked idly at some grass around the soft mound of dirt, and thought back to the week that had changed their lives irrevocably.

"I don't think I'm asking too much, Nathan."

Lucas looked up from the freshly micro-waved plate in front of him and sighed.  Kristin was leaning against the counter, watching the Captain's movements with more than a little frustration.  Bridger for the most part ignored her and continued to rinse out his thermos.  But Lucas knew there was anger brewing just beneath the surface, and if Kristin wasn't careful, she'd soon be engaged in a heated argument.

"I'm tired.  Can we talk about this later?"  Nathan asked impatiently as turned the water off and placed the thermos in the dish rack.

"You're tired because you've just spent fourteen hours at headquarters working on that damn boat."

Lucas sighed again.  Things were about to get ugly.  It was the same argument they'd been having for the past month.  Kristin would accuse Nathan of spending too much time working on the new SeaQuest, and he'd remind her none-too-gently of the risks of being involved with a military man.  They'd make up after a day or two, but Lucas lived in constant worry that one day they'd come home and Kristin wouldn't be there.

"I told you last week that I'd be working late-"

"If you can't work reasonable hours for yourself, at least keep Lucas in mind."

"Oh no, don't drag me into this."  Lucas said as he avoided eye contact with the Doctor.

"He's just a boy Nathan... he shouldn't be working fourteen-hour days to feed your obsession."  Kristin continued, ignoring the pleading look on Lucas' face.

"If you ever bothered to listen to Lucas, and I mean listen, not nag him about his room or the clothes he wears, then you'd understand that he enjoys working on the new SeaQuest.  I don't force him to be there."  Nathan responded as he crossed his arms over his chest and glowered at the woman in front of him.

"Have you ever thought his 'enjoyment' stems from the fact that he wants to please you?  This is your dream, not his and-"

"I am still in the room, you know."  Lucas interrupted loudly, dropping his fork to the plate with a loud clang.  "If you're gonna argue with the Captain, don't make me an issue."

Kristin shook her head and pushed herself away from the counter-top.  "Forget it."  She muttered.

Everything would have blown over in the next few hours if the Captain had just allowed the argument to die.  But he didn't.  On the contrary... he just added more fuel to the fire.  "Look Kristin, this argument is getting old.  I'm tired of going over the same ground.  I work late hours... I have to if I want to get this boat to water by the deadline.  If you can't deal with that, then."

"Then what?"  Kristin prompted as he trailed off.

"Then you can leave at anytime.  You knew what you were getting into when we began this-"

"You want me to leave?"  Kristin asked, cutting right to the chase.

"I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable with.  You're obviously miserable here, and you're taking it out on Lucas and I.  Perhaps you'd be happier in another situation."

Kristin looked stricken, but she masked the hurt immediately.  It wasn't the fact that Nathan was suggesting a split, no, it was the total lack of regret in his voice as he spoke.  For that matter, he could have been ordering a pizza instead of ending their relationship.  Her eyes darted quickly to Lucas, but he refused to meet her gaze.

"I see."  Kristin whispered.

Nathan rubbed the back of his neck tiredly and shrugged.  "I don't want you to leave Kris... but things can't keep on the way they've been.  You're not happy... I'm not happy."

"No, no.  You're quite right."  Kristin said coldly as she started towards the hallway.  "I guess this wasn't such a good idea after all."

Lucas waited until she had retreated to the back before speaking.  "You're not going to let her go, are you?"

"I can't stop her if that's what she chooses." Nathan said resignedly.

"Come on, Cap.  You all but kicked her out."

"I didn't kick her out, I just suggested-"

"Do you even care?  I mean, this could be the end of... well, of everything."

"My work is important to me.  She knows that.  I can't focus on my work if I'm worried about how she's going to react when I can't get home in time for dinner, or when I have to go in on weekends.  I can't live that way."

Lucas nodded, but didn't say anything else as he turned his attention back to the cooling-food.  Nathan had just sat down at the table when there was a rustle in the hallway.  Lucas craned his neck and immediately felt his heart sink.  Kristin walked past the door of the kitchen, a large suitcase firmly in her grip.

Nathan and Lucas exchanged glances, and the Captain sprang to his feet.  "Kris?"

"Yes?'  She questioned as she paused in the action of putting on her rain slicker.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving.  I'll pick up the rest of my things tomorrow."

"You're leaving now?  It's almost eleven."

"Yes, I know."

"Can we talk about this?"

"I was under the impression that we already had."  She answered as she zipped up her jacket.

Nathan was almost desperate now that he realized she was leaving.  He really hadn't expected her to call his bluff, but here she was now, bags packed and car keys in hand.  "I don't want you to leave Kris.  We can work this out."

"No, we can't.  I do love you Nathan, and I think you love me... but it's not enough.  You aren't willing to compromise, and I can't accept your terms."  She replied sadly.  "Maybe if things were different." She trailed off and glanced behind Nathan to where Lucas was leaning against the wall, hands shoved deeply into his pockets.  "You two take care of each other."

Lucas didn't trust himself to speak, so he merely nodded his head.  Kristin smiled sadly and opened the door.  A cold gust of wind entered the house, an almost ominous sign.  She looked out into the rainy night and tried to act as if her world wasn't falling apart.  "I'll call you."  She whispered to Nathan as she gently kissed his cheek.

He pulled away from her and said, "Don't bother." Nathan walked back into the kitchen, leaving Kristin and Lucas facing each other somewhat awkwardly.

Surprisingly, it was Lucas who broke the silence.  "Are you going to give us your new address?"

Kristin smiled and rushed forth, pulling the young man into a loose embrace.  "Of course I will, Lucas.  Just because things didn't work out between Nathan and I doesn't mean I don't want to see either of you again.  I'll call you just as soon as I get a new place, ok?" She rubbed his back soothingly for a few moments before releasing him.  "I'd better get going.  It's coming down hard out there."

"Drive safely."  He called after her.  The words sounded inadequate given the present situation, but he really didn't know what else to say.  If he'd had even an inkling of what was to happen, he would have chased her out into the rain and made sure she knew just how important she was to him.

Lucas looked at the Captain surreptitiously as he pretended to study the diagram in front of him.  Although it was nearing 12:30, neither one had the inclination to sleep.  Both their thoughts centered on one woman, who hadn't even been gone for two hours, yet whose absence affected them both.  Lucas was so deep in thought in fact, that he physically jumped at the sharp knock that resounded through out the spacious house.

He and the Captain exchanged curious glances, and Lucas thought he saw a faint glimmer of hope in the older man's eyes.  Was Kristin returning to them?  They both padded to the large foyer and opened the door without ceremony.  However, it wasn't Kristin standing outside, but a very wet uniformed police officer, who wore a mask of impenetrability on his weathered face.

"Can I help you officer?"  Nathan asked cautiously.

"Does Kristin Westphalen reside here, sir?"

The Captain took an unconscious step back and nodded, but then caught himself.  "Well, she did until a few hours ago.  We uh... what is this about?"

"There was a car accident about five miles up the road.  Both drivers have been taken to County General, and according to registration, one of the cars belongs to a Doctor Kristin Westphalen."

"Oh God."  Nathan muttered.

"You had to find out ownership through registration?  That means she wasn't conscious, right?"  Lucas asked as he stepped forward.

"Neither driver was conscious at the time of transport."

"How bad is she?"  Nathan asked.

"Why don't you get your things and I'll escort you to the hospital."  The Officer said, dodging the question.

Cynthia MacKenzie rushed into the waiting room of the busy hospital and approached the nurse's station.  "I'm here to see my mother, Kristin Westphalen."  She breathlessly stated.

"Cynthia!"

The young woman turned around and sighed in relief as a tired-looking Nathan Bridger waved her over to a set of uncomfortable chairs against one wall.  She half-walked half-ran over to him and asked.

"How is she?"

"We don't know."  Lucas said quietly.  "She's been in surgery for over six hours."

"Oh God."  Cynthia whispered as she placed a hand over her mouth and sank into an empty chair beside Nathan.  He placed his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer.

"What happened?"  She asked after she had taken a few moments to compose herself.

Lucas and Nathan exchanged glances and silently agreed to forgo the details of Kristin's departure and focus instead on the accident itself.  "According to the witnesses, Kristin was at an intersection. she had the green and started to cross it, when the other car plowed into her.  Her car..."  He broke off at the catch in his voice and paused.  "Her car broke through the guard rail and rolled down fifty feet."  Cynthia began to sob at his words and Nathan could do nothing to comfort her.

Lucas didn't know how long they sat together like that, Cynthia's head buried in Nathan's shoulder, before a young doctor approached them, but he guessed it to be at least two hours.

"Captain Bridger?"

Nathan stood up to face the surgeon and nodded.  "How is she."

The young man sighed and gestured to the seat Nathan had just vacated.  "Please, have a seat Captain."

"I don't want to have a seat, I want you to tell me how she is."  Bridger said forcefully.

"Nathan, please."  Cynthia said.

The Captain glanced at Cynthia briefly and then acquiesced.  Once he was seated, he met the Doctor's gaze squarely and waited for him to speak.

"My name is Doctor Monroe... and I performed the surgery on Kristin."  He began.  "She was brought in here with massive head-trauma and internal injuries that are too numerous to name.  I must admit that I didn't expect her to survive."

"But she did, right?"  Lucas asked.

"In a manner of speaking.  We lost her a few times on the table, but managed to bring resuscitate her.  The last time however, she was down for almost three minutes.  During that time, the oxygen to her brain was cut off... and the tissue started to die."

"So what does that mean?"  Cynthia asked quietly.

Doctor Monroe sighed and ran fingers through his curly hair.  "Kristin is alive... but only with the aid of machines. She's been placed on a ventilator... without which, she'd die."

"For how long?  I mean, is it just until she regains consciousness?"  Cynthia asked.

"We don't ever expect her to regain consciousness ma'am. The damage to the brain is just too extensive... there wasn't any DNR order, but if there had been one, we would've let her go."

"No!"  Nathan screamed.  The sound was almost animal, and to Lucas, it seemed to have come from the very bottom of his soul.  The older man buried his face in his hands and his body was wracked with quiet sobs.

"Is there any immediate family we could-"

"I am her daughter."  Cynthia whispered.

"Then you have some decisions to make."  He said as he turned to face her fully.

"What do you mean, what kind of decisions?"  Lucas piped in from the side.

"What I mean is... Kristin is never going to recover... and I don't know her, but I doubt very much that she'd want to spend the rest of her life hooked up to machines and tubes."

Cynthia looked at him defiantly and shook her head.  "I am not going to kill her."

"You wouldn't be killing her-"

"And what happens if there is some kind of breakthrough, huh?  We can't give up hope that-" Lucas started, only to be interrupted by the doctor.

"Son, you're talking about a miracle, not a breakthrough."

"Miracles happen all the time."  Lucas replied.

Doctor Monroe sighed and shook his head.  "It is of course your decision, ma'am, and I won't interfere.  I only ask that you consider what your mother would have wanted."

"Can we see her?"  Nathan finally asked.  He had been silent thus far, and only vaguely aware of the conversation around him.

"Of course."  Monroe replied.

Cynthia stood up and followed the doctor through the polished hallways, disappearing around a corner.  Lucas glanced at the Captain and felt a deep sense of foreboding.  He'd never seen the man look so lost, and he wondered whether Bridger would be able to survive another loss.

Bridger emerged from Kristin's private room, and Lucas thought he'd fall apart right then and there.  He'd been the last to see Kristin,  allowing Lucas and Cynthia to go before him.  He'd been in there for more than two hours, and the young man had begun to wonder whether the Captain had fallen asleep.

"Cynthia, I think you should reconsider your decision."  He said hoarsely without preamble.

"You can't be serious."  Cynthia balked as she stood up.

"More serious than I've been about anything in my life." Nathan replied tightly.  "Look at her Cynthia!" He continued as he gestured to the window.

Lucas glanced over and felt the tears well up in his eyes.  Kristin looked so small and vulnerable in the stark bed.  Tubes and wires connected her to various machines that hummed intrusively through out the room.  Her face and arms were scraped and bruised, and there was a nasty gash down the side of her cheek.  She looked terrible.

"You can't condemn her to live out the rest of her life hooked up to those damn machines, simply because you don't want to let her go."

"Don't you try and dictate to me Nathan Bridger.  It's your fault she's in there now!"  The Captain visibly paled and Lucas felt a pang  of guilt as Cynthia continued.  "That's right, Captain, Lucas told me everything.  I know all about what you said to her you selfish bastard and how you made her leave."  Cynthia suddenly dissolved into tears.  "She'd be fine if it weren't for you!" And with that, Cynthia turned on her heel and ran away.

Nathan made a move to follow her, but Lucas stepped in his path. "I don't think she wants to see you right now.  I'll go check on her."

The Captain nodded mutely and watched Lucas' retreating back for a moment before going back into Kristin's room.

Lucas and Cynthia were walking arm in arm down the hallway to Kristin's room, speaking quietly when they were pushed aside by a large orderly.  It was then that they heard the alarm going off at the nurse's station and the complete chaos further down the corridor.  The exchanged worried glances and jogged the short distance to Kristin's room.

"What in the hell's going on?"  Cynthia demanded angrily to one of the nurses.

"He's locked himself in there!"  He replied innocently.

"Who?"

"That UEO Captain.  He's locked himself in there and he's destroyed half the equipment."

Cynthia pushed her way to the front of the crowd and observed Nathan sitting calmly on the edge of her mother's hospital bed, clasping her hand gently in his.  The room was littered with over-turned monitoring devices and other machinery, vital to her mother's survival.  She started banging on the door, trying to get his attention, but he never looked up.

Nathan stretched out beside Kristin, and pulled her close, shutting his eyes.  Lucas could see his lips moving and knew he was speaking to her, though she was beyond hearing.  Without warning, the burly Orderly who'd they'd seen earlier, started pounding his large frame against the door, hoping to dislodge the lock.

More than five minutes passed before he was able to gain access into the room.  Medical personnel flooded in and tried unsuccessfully to dislodge Nathan from Kristin's side.  He clung tightly to her and refused to relinquish his hold.  Doctor Monroe gently pressed his fingers to the inside of Kristin's wrist and shook his head.

"She's gone."

"No!"  Cynthia screamed as she fell to her knees.  "You brought her back last time, you can do it again."

"It's time to let go, Cynthia."

Just then, two police officers burst into the room, having been paged from the other end of the hospital.  After consulting briefly with Doctor Monroe, they warily approached the Captain.

"Sir, you're going to have to come with us."

Nathan acted as if he hadn't heard them and pressed a gentle kiss to Kristin's still-warm forehead.  He slowly let her go and stood up to face the occupants of the room.  He tried to meet Lucas' eyes, but the young man only glared angrily at the floor.

"I'm ready."  He whispered.

The younger of the two officers began to read Nathan his rights when Lucas rushed forward and tried to tackle Bridger.  He swung wildly, making contact only a few times.  It didn't take long to restrain him, and he glared at the older man as his chest heaved with exertion.

"You are a murderer, and you're going to rot in hell!" He screamed.

The next few months had passed in a whirlwind.  The building of the new SeaQuest had been put on hold as Nathan had gone to trial.  Lucas hadn't gone to see the Captain once, not trusting himself to behave rationally.  No one would ever know how deeply he felt the loss of Kristin.  But he hadn't just lost Kristin... he'd lost Bridger as well.

The accused man pleaded no contest to the charge of second degree murder, and had sat through the proceedings calmly.  He'd tried to speak to Lucas and Cynthia a few times, but both had been advised to ignore his pleas of understanding.

Lucas had assumed that once Nathan had been sentenced, the painful ache in his heart would subside.  However, if anything, the pain had only intensified and Lucas felt empty.  Lucas shook his head as if to clear his thoughts and stared at the headstone.  He suddenly threw himself across the grave and began to sob his pain out.

"I miss you so much Doc.  I love you."  He cried.

"Lucas!"

Lucas was only vaguely aware of the familiar voice in his ear and it wasn't until he felt a firm hand on his shoulder that he was aware of another presence.  "Lucas!" The young man bolted upright and found himself staring into a pair of warm brown eyes.  Eyes that he never thought he'd see again.  "What...?  No... you're-"

"Shhh... you were having a nightmare, Lucas.  I could hear you all the  way down the hall."  Kristin whispered as she smoothed the hair back from his sweat-soaked brow.

He looked around himself and found that he was in his darkened room at the beach house.  His computer screen was still alight and he realized that he'd fallen asleep at his desk.  He looked back to Kristin and threw himself into her arms, toppling them both to the ground.

Kristin chuckled quietly and held the young man close.  "Dare I ask what the nightmare was about?"

Lucas shook his head negatively.  "I don't want to talk about it."  He whispered as he swiftly wiped the remaining tears from his bright eyes.

"OK, you don't have to talk about it."  Kristin replied, although she noticed that Lucas hadn't relinquished his hold on her.

They stayed huddled on the floor of Lucas' room ensconced in each other's arms for the better part of an hour.  Kristin rubbed his back soothingly, knowing that the nightmare had scared him tremendously. She also realized that whatever he'd dreamed, had seemed very real to him.

"Kristin?"  Lucas asked as he pulled back so that he was able to peer into her eyes.

"Yes?"

"I know I can be a pain sometimes, and that I've never told you how  much you mean to me... but I-"

"I know Lucas."  Kristin silenced him as she kissed his forehead and pulled him back into her arms.  "I know."

Lucas smiled and drifted to sleep a few hours later, lulled by the steady beat of her heart.