One night, one empty room
One man getting over you
One star, one lonely moon
I make a wish I know will never come true

You'll call my name
And you'll beg me to hold you again
But the truth remains
And I'm only a fool who can't help but pretend

Chorus:

It's all over but I'm holding on
I can't let go 'til the love is gone
It's all over but I keep holding on
With a desperate heart
My desperate heart

Some nights I try in my mind
To see myself loving someone new
Still I know I'm wasting my time
No one can ever take the place of you

So I close my eyes
I swear I feel you here by my side
But it's all, it's only a lie
That I need to believe for my heart to survive

(Repeat Chorus)

All this time I've been drowning in hopeless illusion
I've been keeping inside
That someday you'll walk out of the shadows
And back into my life

(Repeat Chorus)

I can't believe your love for me is gone
 
 

Kristin Westphalen stared out of the window surveying the desolation. God she hated this place. She longed for the ocean breeze and the sound of the waves crashing onto the sand. Sand… Well, there was certainly plenty of that. It was everywhere… In the carpets, the food, her clothes, her hair… the bed. And it was so damned hot, even with the air-conditioner running full out. She sighed and hugged herself protectively. If she closed her eyes she could almost imagine that she was somewhere else… anywhere else.

The feeling of arms sliding around her waist and holding her tightly startled her from her reverie and she leaned back into their embrace.

"Kristin, are you alright? You seemed miles away, honey."

Kristin put on her bravest face "I'm fine Scott. Just dreaming of home and the ocean."

"I know you miss it, darling and I know you're not happy here."

She turned in his embrace. "It's okay. This is where you need to be right now. I'll be fine. After all it is only for another couple of months."

"And then we'll go home, you'll be Mrs. Scott Keller and I promise you a honeymoon with lots of sea and sand."

"Sand, I have already…"

"I mean the beach kind, not the desert kind." He smiled.

"I know, but right now we have to get ready for dinner with the director of operations, so what do you say we make a start?"

"I love you Kristin."

"I know you do. I love you too."

Their lips met in a passionate kiss.

"How long do we have before dinner?" Scott questioned softly.

"A couple of hours."

"Good, more than enough time."

"Enough time for what?"

"Guess, pretty lady." Scott replied as he scooped her into his arms and headed towards the bedroom.

Nathan Bridger had gone to his quarters to review the stack of reports that had somehow sneaked up on him since repairs and crew training had begun three weeks ago, culminating in him being deliberately stranded on an uninhabited island in a search and rescue mission. Well, they'd told him that it was uninhabited but they hadn't considered the hundred and one varieties of insect - some flying, some not – that had welcomed him with open mouths. Parts of him still itched almost three days later.

Being alone had given him time to think; too much time he decided ruefully. Thoughts of times past… Of Carol and Robert… The time on his island and both seaQuests and a host of missed opportunities… One in particular kept resurfacing – his time with Kristin Westphalen. God, he missed her, but he knew that it was his own seeming indifference that had driven her away.

The flirtation with his current CMO had brought it home to him and suddenly he was a very lonely man. Oh he was well aware that if he wanted, he could have Wendy Smith in a second – she'd made that clear, but he just couldn't see himself spending the rest of his life with her. He knew too, that if he made the effort, he could find someone but he knew in his heart that the woman he was destined to be with had slipped through his fingers. She'd breezed in, touched his life… his heart, and then drifted away almost before he'd realised what was happening… With a disconsolate shrug of his shoulders he returned to his mountain of paperwork.

A half-hour later he threw his pen down onto the desk and leaned back in his chair. God, he felt awful… Standing up slowly, he crossed the room to the head to get a drink of water, splashing some onto his face first. Glancing at his reflection in the mirror he noticed the lines of fatigue under his eyes. He gulped down the contents of his glass and refilled it before returning to his desk. The sooner he finished the reports the sooner he could sleep.

He picked up the top one but when he looked at it, the words swam before his eyes. He rubbed them tiredly noticing that they had begun to itch and they were watering slightly. The light had begun to hurt so he moved over to the switch and dimmed it to a comfortable level. There was tap on the door. "Come."

Lucas entered the cabin and waited a few minutes for his eyes to become accustomed to the low illumination.

As Bridger returned to his seat a wave of dizziness washed over him and he swayed slightly. "Cap' are you okay?"

"I think I must be coming down with something. I'll get some sleep as soon as I've finished that lot." He indicated the pile of paper that still sat on his desktop.

"Maybe you should go to med-bay?"

"I'm just tired that's…" He broke off abruptly and made a dash back to the head. A few moments later Lucas heard the unmistakable sounds of retching.

Bridger staggered out and leaned against the doorframe for support. "I think maybe you're right, but I'm going to need a hand… I'm not sure I can make it on my own.

Dr. Smith came running out of her office when she heard Lucas calling. "What is it?"

"It's the captain… he's real sick. He almost passed out on me a couple of times."

Wendy helped the boy get Bridger over to an examination bed and eased him down gently. "He's running a very high fever, I can feel it through his uniform. Nathan, can you hear me?"

Bridger groaned in response.

"How long have you felt ill?" She asked as she turned to pick up something from the table beside the bed.

"A couple of days but it was just tiredness until today."

"What happened today? Nathan?"

When he didn't answer she turned back to him and saw that he was almost unconscious. "Lucas?"

"I'm not sure. I went to see him and his quarters were nearly in darkness. He seemed to be dizzy and then he was violently sick. On our way here he almost passed out on me. What's wrong with him, Doc? Will he be okay?"

"I don't know Lucas, I'll need to run some tests. Why don't you go back to your quarters and I'll call you when I know something."

"But, Doc…"

"I'll call you."

"Okay." He reluctantly headed out of med-bay.

It was late when Scott and Kristin returned to their quarters at the Space Research Centre. Kristin wearily removed her cape and threw herself into the nearest chair. ~ Lord, space types were even more condescending than the military. ~ Nathan had taken her to a couple of their get-togethers before they'd split, and she'd found them tedious, but tonight had been a real trial. To top it all, she'd been the only woman present and an Oceanographer to boot… They'd treated her like a complete idiot rather than a fellow scientist. At least when she had been with Nathan he'd included her in the conversation and got people to listen when she spoke, but Scott had gone along with the majority and practically ignored her.

Eventually, she had found herself sitting alone out on the veranda, watching the stars. ~ Had she done the right thing in agreeing to marry Scott? ~ Sometimes she wasn't sure. Perhaps if she hadn't been transferred to a far-off place after seaQuest's demise, life would have been different. If she and Nathan had…

Kristin shook herself mentally… That relationship was just fated not to be. It had taken so long for Nathan to even express an interest her and in the end, he hadn't been keen enough to pursue it.

Scott came over and knelt in front of her. "Tired honey?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Kristin, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For tonight. I shouldn't have dragged you to that dinner… it wasn't fair. Everyone there had been involved with the space programme and this project, since the beginning. I should have known you'd feel left out."

"It wasn't that." She replied shaking her head. "I just don't appreciate being treated like an idiot, especially by you."

Scott opened his mouth to deny it but then realised that he was as much at fault as the others, "I'm so sorry, Kris. I know I'm as guilty as the rest. I just got caught up in the excitement. But please believe me when I say that I know you're not stupid. You're the most intelligent woman I've ever known and I couldn't do all this without your support. I love you darling, and I'm so happy that you're here with me. I'll try to do better. Forgive me… please?"

Kristin looked up and she could see the earnestness in his eyes and knew that he meant and believed every word he was saying. She reached out and ran her hand down his cheek. Suddenly she was too tired to fight. "Okay." She pulled him into her arms and they held each other tightly.

Scott whispered in her ear, "Thank you."

Kristin sighed inwardly. ~ What was wrong with her? Why did she always manage to fall in love with men whose work was more important to them than she was? ~

Nathan Bridger tried valiantly to fight the invisible demon that was trying to suffocate him but it was far stronger than he was. He managed to throw it off long enough to draw in a deep breath… Seeming to find an additional burst of energy he succeeded in freeing himself and began to run. Panic drove him on… He knew that the beast wasn't far behind and he had to get away; find somewhere to hide until his strength returned.  God, he was so afraid…  He'd never experienced this much fear before and it threatened to overpower him. There must be someone out there in the darkness who could help him. There had to be…

Lucas came running into med-bay and didn't stop until he reached the captain's side. "Doc, what the hell happened? What's wrong with him?"

"I wish I knew Lucas. His condition is deteriorating rapidly. I've had to ventilate him temporarily so that he can breathe. As far as I can see it must stem from the insect bites he sustained on the island."

"What's the cure?"

"I don't know. This isn't my field Lucas, I'm out of my depth here."

"Is he going to die?" The boy asked fearfully.

"Unless we can come up with a cure… yes." The pain was obvious in her voice.

Lucas turned his attention to the man on the bed, whom he had come to look on, as a father… Bridger tossed and turned; his skin was on fire… "Can't you give him something to quiet him?"

"I can't do that. I scanned his mind to see if I could find out why he was so restless…"

"And…?"

"In his feverish state, the illness has manifested itself in the form of an invisible monster which he's fighting for his life. If I sedate him he'll have no will to fight anymore and he'll die but…" Wendy broke off and when he looked up at her there were tears in her eyes. "He's afraid Lucas… No, he's terrified and I don't know how to help him."

"Couldn't you enter his mind and help him?"

"No, it's not me he needs. He's searching for someone, but it isn't me. Talk to him Lucas. Let him know you're here. Maybe it's you he wants. I'll be back in a minute."

He sat on the edge of the bed, took Bridger's hand and began to talk quietly. The captain went still for a few moments but then began to thrash around again. When Wendy returned he looked up her sadly. "No, Doc… I'm not the one."

Nathan could feel his enemy getting closer and he stood shakily and began to run again. In the distance he could hear voices… a woman and a young man. He knew them… He heard them trying to reassure him but they couldn't help. There was only one person who could he knew that… but he didn't know who it was. He couldn't remember. Why couldn't he remember? Oh please God let them find him before it was too late. He was so tired. So afraid, so desperately afraid… His legs gave out and he fell to the ground, cowering in the darkness; praying that the beast wouldn't find him.

Kristin awoke suddenly from a fitful sleep. She was shaking all over and very frightened. Frantically she grabbed for the cord to switch on the table-lamp but in her haste she knocked it to the ground, smashing the bulb.

Scott's voice sounded in the darkness, "Kristin?" When she didn't reply he switched on his own lamp and turned to look at her. "God honey, what is it? What's wrong?"

She looked at him, a stricken expression on her face, "A dream… it was just a dream."

He pulled her trembling body to his and held her close. "It's okay, darling. It's okay. You're safe." He hugged her tightly as she sobbed on his chest.

When her tears had subsided he asked, "What was it? Tell me…"

"I don't know… I…" The images were beginning to fade. "Fear, there was so much fear."

"There's nothing to be afraid of. Everything's okay." He stroked her forehead and held her to him, kissing her hair. "Try to go back to sleep. You're safe with me… I'll never let anything happen to you, I promise." He kissed her again very tenderly and waited for her to settle before drifting back to sleep.

Kristin lay awake for a long while trying to remember any detail of her nightmare but she couldn't – only the darkness and the terror. But there was one thing of which she was she certain… The terror wasn't hers…

The next day Scott had to leave early. He kissed Kristin lovingly and then said, "Darling, you look absolutely exhausted. Why don't you go back to bed and get some sleep? I'll check on you at lunchtime."

She leaned against him for a moment, touched by his concern. "I think I will. Thank you for last night."

"You're welcome. And I meant what I said… I'll never let anything happen to you. I love you too much for that."

"I love you too."

"Get some rest." He kissed her again before heading out of the door.

He was still trapped in the dark; his strength beginning to fail. He was running figuratively and literally on pure adrenaline. Pausing to rest for a moment, he closed his eyes in concentration… if only he knew whom it was he was trying to find…

A flash of memory… a young man's face. He was dressed in some kind of uniform – a naval uniform. It had to be, because he was standing on the deck of a ship. Maybe this was the person who could lead him out of the darkness? He reached out a hand towards him and tried to call his name, but he couldn't remember it… Then there was an explosion and the ship was gone – blown into a million pieces. Suddenly an anguished cry escaped his lips, "Robert…!"

The demon was coming closer he could sense it, but he had no urge to move. A fog of despair had engulfed him and he lay down on the cold ground and curled himself into a ball. Robert was his son and he was gone… As he cried for him another face appeared in his mind – Carol, but he knew that she couldn't help him either. She was gone too.

His body was wracked with sobs of grief. Maybe there was no one to save him after all. He was all he had but he didn't want to die alone…

Doctor Wendy Smith was almost frantic, she knew that Bridger's body couldn't take much more; his energy reserves were almost depleted. She'd done her best to find a cure for the toxin that flooded his bloodstream but nothing had worked. It seemed to be composed of micro-organisms, that were increasing exponentially. In desperation she had put a call through to U.E.O headquarters to ask for help.

Kristin had tried to rest but she couldn't settle. Something was desperately wrong but she just couldn't put her finger on it. She was startled out of her introspection by a buzz from the comm-unit and was even more surprised to see a U.E.O logo on the screen. Quickly, she activated the system.

"My God, Bill! Where did you spring from?"

"Hello Doctor Westphalen, how are you?"

"I'm fine thank you. And you and Janet?"

"We're both well. You look tired."

"I'm okay, just not sleeping very well. I miss the ocean." She said sadly.

"I'm sure."

She noticed that he looked somewhat distressed. "What is it Bill? I'm sure that this isn't just a social call."

"No it isn't. Kristin, we need your help."

"Bill, you know I'm not…"

He interrupted her. "Kristin, you know I wouldn't bother you if it wasn't urgent."

"I'm listening."

"A valued member of the U.E.O is suffering from an unknown virus… As far as we can ascertain it was caused by an insect bite or a combination of bites and it's serious."

"How serious?"

"He's dying."

Kristin sighed resignedly. "How can I help?"

"Can you come to NCQ?"

"When?"

"Today." Noyce replied matter-of-factly.

"It's that bad?"

"Worse."

"There's one problem, Bill… I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere."

"There's a U.E.O jet enroute, it should be there within the hour and Kristin, thank you."

Kristin stared in disbelief at the blank screen.

When she arrived at NCQ airport there was a car waiting to take her to U.E.O headquarters. She was whisked into Secretary-General Noyce's outer office and the secretary looked up to greet her. "Doctor Westphalen?"

"Yes."

"Please go straight in. The Secretary-General's been waiting for you."

"Kristin, thank God." Noyce greeted her warmly and then ordered coffee for them both.

"What is it that's so urgent Bill?"

"This." He punched up a stream of data onto the computer screen.

Kristin scanned it quickly. "My God! And the patient is still alive?"

"Barely."

"Could I see him?"

A frown appeared on Noyce's face. "He's not here."

"Then where?" There was a hint of exasperation in her voice.

"seaQuest." Kristin stared at him, the colour slowly draining from her face. "Kristin… it's Nathan."

Sighing, she lay her head back against the seat of the second U.E.O jet she'd been in that day, her mind was going in circles. She's managed to contact Scott to let him know what had happened, and he was almost as distraught as she was – after all Nathan was one of his oldest friends.

She'd reviewed the data that Bill had given her over and over, but before she could do anything she had to see him…

The journey seemed to go on forever, but finally they touched down at a U.E.O base in South America, only to be told that the seaQuest was still undergoing maintenance and unable to get to port. After a lot of to-ing and fro-ing, it was decided that she would be taken by helicopter to an aircraft carrier and they would make arrangements to get her to seaQuest. She thanked the officer in charge for all his help and quickly boarded the helicopter for the next leg, fearing that she may already be too late.

The captain of the carrier welcomed her aboard and asked if she'd like to rest before going on with her journey. She was absolutely exhausted but anxious to be on her way. He had another officer escort her to the guest cabin so that she could freshen up before continuing on to seaQuest. Approximately three-quarters of an hour after she had come on board, she was back in the wardroom.

"Did you find everything you needed, Doctor?"

"Yes, thank you. When will I be leaving?"

"We have a problem I'm afraid."

"What now?" Kristin asked with a touch of annoyance.

"You know that seaQuest is undergoing repairs?"

"Yes."

"Well, her launch bays are out of action so she won't be able to send anyone to pick you up."

"Then how do I get there?" She wasn't sure that she wanted to hear the answer and as soon as the captain replied she knew that she was right…

For the fourth time in twenty-four hours Kristin found herself airborne but this time she was genuinely scared.

"Doctor…" The chopper pilot called out.

"Yes?"

"We have seaQuest in sight – she's surfaced."

~ Oh goodie ~ "Thank you." She tried to control the tremor in her voice but it shook anyway.

"It's a piece of cake, Doc. Trust me."

"Do I have a choice?"

"Not really." She could hear the laughter in his voice.

"Then I guess I'll have to." She quickly zipped up her flight suit and strapped her meagre luggage to her back before moving forward to where the door was being slid open. "Oh God."

"You'll be fine." Another of the crew assured her. "Just do as we said. We'll lower you down and then the seaQuest crew will take care of you. Remember to keep your arms tight to your body."

Kristin nodded, unable to find her voice and waited for the winch-man to hook her to the cable.

"Good luck, Ma'am."

She closed her eyes tightly. ~ Oh God, did he have to say that? Wishing her luck implied that she needed it. How in the hell did she get herself into this? ~ She felt a tap on her shoulder and slid forward off the platform and into space; her arms wrapped tightly around her – more in self-preservation than anything else.

Seconds seemed to go by like hours and she was convinced that if she had the courage to open her eyes, she would see that seaQuest had submerged and forgotten her. She was going to drown in the water and no one would ever know. No one would… Suddenly there was something solid under her feet and hands on her, releasing the cable and helping her to stand. She looked up into the eyes of someone she'd never seen before.

"Welcome aboard seaQuest, Doctor. My name's Tony Piccolo." Kristin released the breath she had been holding since she began her descent. "It's okay Ma'am… We've got you."

In med-bay Nathan's fever raged on and in his nightmare he was still curled into a ball on the ground – too terrified to move. He was alone, alone… so alone.  He sensed that something was close. At first he thought the beast had found him but it wasn't fear that washed over him. No… this presence radiated calm. He desperately wanted to open his eyes but the terror was too great, so he sat up, hugged his knees tightly to his chest and waited… He prayed they would find him soon, he was so tired… It took every ounce of strength he possessed just to stay awake.

After reporting to a very surprised, Commander Ford, Kristin fairly ran all the way to med-bay. Wendy hurried out of her office to greet her. "I'm Doctor Wendy Smith, CMO onboard seaQuest; thank you so much for coming."

"Kristin Westphalen." She shook Wendy's outstretched hand.

The name set off warning bells in Dr. Smith's mind but before she could scan the older woman, Lucas came rushing over to greet her.

"Doc!"

"Lucas." She held out her arms and he ran into her embrace without a moment's hesitation.

"Thank God you're here. If anyone can save the captain, you can."

Kristin winced at the expression on Smith's face – she'd clearly taken Lucas' remark as a personal insult.

"If you'd like to see the patient he's in the isolation room." Wendy said tersely.

"Of course. Lucas could you give us a few minutes?"

Wendy waited for the inevitable objections but none came.

"I'll be in my quarters." Lucas concurred.

"Okay. I'll stop by as soon as I can. And try not to worry." She hugged him again for a few seconds.

"If you can spare the time Doctor." Smith interjected sarcastically.

Nathan was running again. He'd waited as long as he dared but a feeling of panic had suddenly overwhelmed him. ~ Who was he kidding? No one was going to help him. No one… ~ In his exhaustion he stumbled and crouched in the darkness, waiting for the beast to strike. ~ Help me please… Someone, help me… ~

From out of the darkness a cool hand brushed across his forehead, soothing him. And then a voice - A soft and gentle voice with a wonderfully rich accent… ~ Kristin? ~ But she couldn't be here. He was hallucinating; he had to be. With a superhuman effort he managed to whisper her name. It came out so quietly that he was sure she wouldn't hear him.

"I'm here Nathan. It's going to be all right. Everything's going to be all right."

He'd been alone in the dark for so long and what little strength he had left, seemed to have deserted him. The sense of panic still prevailed but he was too tired to run. A feeling of despair permeated the air and he had to crawl away from it. "Kristin?"

"Yes, Nathan – it's me. I'm here with you now, so just hold on a little longer. Promise me you'll hold on."

Bridger's lips moved and she bent closer to hear what he was trying to say, only catching two words… "Help me…"

At the sound of the door being opened behind her, Kristin stood quickly and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I have all the latest data if you'd like to look it over." Smith's voice was almost challenging.

"Of course, I'll be right there." She took Nathan's hand in hers and stroked the back with her thumb. "I'll try my love. I'll try." She whispered.

Kristin had tried eight different variations on the formula for the serum she'd developed but although they had some effect, it wasn't enough to cure him. As she waited for the ninth to be perfected she returned to Nathan's side. He was moving restlessly in the bed - A restlessness, which gave way to agitation.

He had to find her; keep her safe…

"Kristin…! Kristin."

He searched frantically in the darkness but he couldn't find her. She had to be somewhere near; she'd been by his side only a few minutes ago… "Kristin, please… Where are you?" Panic gripped him once more and he thrashed around, throwing off the bedcovers as his fear grew. "Kristin where are you?"

"I'm right here, Nathan. Right here with you." She tried to cover him again.

For a moment a feeling of peace and joy pervaded his senses but when he looked around he couldn't see her. "Kristin, I can't see you, baby. Please come to me… Help me. I need you."

"I'm here Nathan and I won't leave you but I can't come to you. You have to come to me. Fight your way back to the light. That's where you'll find me."

"I'm trying Kris, but it's so hard…"

"I know. I'm working on something that will help you. Just hang on Nathan, please."

He felt the darkness closing in around him again but this time, he had no strength to fight. Kristin was here somewhere and she would help him… As long as she was near he would be safe. With a massive effort of will he dragged himself to his knees and crawled into the dark, and away from the terror that threatened to take control once more.

Lucas entered med-bay and found Kristin asleep across the desk; Wendy Smith was nowhere to be seen. As quietly as he could he crossed over to the bench where the latest variation on the serum was being tested, and studied it through the microscope. What he saw made his heart leap.

Hastily he returned to the desk and gently shook Kristin's shoulder to wake her. She opened her eyes and when she saw Lucas standing over her she panicked. "What's wrong? Is Nathan…?"

"He's hanging in Doc." The young man reassured her. "It works… the serum works! You did it, Doc. You did it!"

Gathering her wits Kristin Westphalen stood and moved to the microscope to check for herself. Closing her eyes in relief at what she saw.

"Can't you give it to him now?" Lucas asked excitedly.

"No." She shook her head to emphasise her answer. "You have to get Doctor Smith."

"But why?"

"Technically, Nathan is her patient not mine. She has to administer the vaccine."

"But you did all the work not her." He stared in disbelief.

"It doesn't matter Lucas. It wouldn't be ethical for me to give the injection."

"That's not fair!"

"I know but I've already antagonised her enough. For some reason she doesn't seem to like me very much."

"Maybe she's jealous." Lucas offered.

"Why should she be?"

"She's had a 'thing' for the captain for a while."

"Oh, I see."

"Don't worry Doc, I don't think it's mutual."

"It's none of my business." Kristin said sharply. "Anyway, I still don't understand why she sees me as a threat."

"Did she tell you that she's a telepath?"

Suddenly Kristin understood. "No she didn't but that's not important at the moment. Go and get her, please."

Without another word Lucas ran from the room.

Kristin sat down and put her head in her hands. "Oh God…"

Very slowly Nathan Bridger opened his eyes and found himself staring at the ceiling of med-bay. He took a while to adjust to the light and then he heard a female voice.

"Welcome back Nathan."

"Kristin?" Her name was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

"No, it's Wendy."

"Of course. I'm sorry Doctor, I just thought I heard…" He quickly changed the subject. "I guess I owe you my thanks – you saved my life."

"You're welcome. Now rest captain."

A wave of indignation washed over Lucas but as he went to speak Wendy shushed him, and motioned him away from the bed. "He needs to rest. You can speak to him later."

"But what about…?"

The doctor interrupted him. "I said later." She repeated forcefully.

"Yes, Ma'am." Lucas gave her a mock salute before exiting the room.

On his way back to his quarters Lucas decided to look in on Doctor Westphalen but she was sleeping peacefully. Knowing how tired she was and not wanting to wake her, he crept out quietly and headed for his own bunk.

As soon as he awoke the next morning he returned to med-bay determined to tell Bridger everything that Kristin had done. Wendy was bending over him and as Lucas watched she kissed him gently on the lips – a kiss that the captain seemed to return. When they broke apart he heard Bridger say, "Thank you, Wendy."

After she had left Lucas made his way to the captain's side. "Hey Cap', how're you doing?"

"Better, thanks to Doctor Smith."

Lucas was furious. "She didn't tell you!"

"Tell me what? Wendy said that they'd found a cure and she'd administered it yesterday."

"But SHE didn't find the cure!" The boy spat out. "The Doc did."

Bridger looked confused.

"Doctor Westphalen, Sir. She did all the work, not Smith."

"Tell me." Bridger replied softly.

A half-hour later and Lucas had told him everything… From her nightmare journey to get to them, all the way through to her unceasing efforts to find a cure and her allowing Wendy to administer it.

Nathan closed his eyes for a moment. ~ She was here… It hadn't been a dream. ~ He had an almost desperate need to see her. "Is she still here?"

Before Lucas could reply, a voice from behind him said, "I'm here."

"Kris…" He held out a trembling hand and Kristin immediately moved forward to take it in hers, holding it tightly.

"I'll leave you two alone for a while." Lucas stood and headed for the door.

"I thought I'd dreamed you." Nathan whispered.

"No, I'm here. How are you feeling?"

"Better now I know you're really here. God, I've missed you." He kissed the back of her hand.

Kristin bit down on her bottom lip in an effort to hold back her tears. "Nathan, you need to rest."

"I know." He studied her face intently. "And so do you. Promise me something? Promise me you'll stay for a few days… I need to talk to you."

"Nathan I…"

"Please Kris… Please…" He was becoming more and more distressed and an alarm sounded from one of the monitors.

Wendy came running in. "I think you should leave, Doctor Westphalen. You're upsetting MY patient."

Kristin tried to move away but Nathan held her hand firmly in his own. "Please…?"

Not wanting to upset him any further she quickly agreed and fled the room.

Sometime after she returned to the guest quarters there was a knock on the door. Kristin knew without looking who it would be. "Come in Doctor Smith."

Wendy entered the room, her body radiating hostility. "What the hell do you mean by upsetting my patient like that? You of all people should know better." She stormed.

Kristin was too stressed to fight. "I'm sorry Doctor, it was unintentional."

"I think it would be better if you returned to the mainland as soon as possible."

"I'm way ahead of you Doctor and don't worry, I won't be in your way very much longer. I'm going to speak to Commander Ford right now."

"Good. I think it would be better all around." She turned on her heel and walked out.

Kristin hastily brushed away a tear that escaped her eye and there was another knock on the door. "Come."

"You wanted to see me, Doctor?" Jonathan Ford asked.

~ My God, she didn't waste any time. ~ "Yes. Nathan is going to be fine now and it's time I returned to my life."

"Wouldn't you like to stay for a few days? You'd be most welcome…"

"It's very kind of you Jonathan but I think it would be better if I left."

"Very well Doctor, I'll arrange it immediately."

"Thank you."

Jonathan could hear the distress in her voice and he'd been coming down the corridor when Wendy had let loose. He also knew that there was something special between the captain and the doctor… He'd never been able to figure out what had gone wrong between them. "Kristin are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She turned away from him so that he wouldn't see the tears flowing down her cheeks, jumping when she felt gentle hands on her shoulders.

"I'll let you know when everything is arranged." He squeezed her shoulders gently in a gesture of support and quietly left the room. Kristin threw herself down onto the bunk and sobbed her heart out.

She was awakened by another tap at the hatch and quickly sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Come."

This time it was Lucas. "Doc, Commander Ford sent me to tell you that there would be a bit of a delay in your departure."

"No!"

"I'm sorry but the mainland is being buffeted by hurricane force winds and there's no way we can dispatch a launch at the moment."

"Okay." She sighed resignedly.

 "Doc, is there something wrong?"

"No, I'm just tired."

"You're sure?"

"Mmm hmm."

"Well, if you want someone to talk to, you know where I am."

"Thank you Lucas."

Sensing that she wanted to be alone, he headed for med-bay.

In med-bay Nathan Bridger was getting more and more frustrated. He knew that Kristin was still onboard but she hadn't been in to see him and he desperately needed to talk to her. To add to his frustration Wendy wouldn't allow him out of bed even though he was feeling much better. After waiting two days he could stand it no longer and had a clean uniform smuggled in to him so that he could escape; heading directly for the guest quarters.

Kristin had pretty much kept herself to herself, having her food brought to her and spending her time writing up her notes and reading. If the truth were told she was going stir crazy but anything was better than crossing the CMO's path, or Nathan's.

The sound of the door being opened broke her concentration and she turned to find herself facing Nathan Bridger. "Nathan, should you be out of bed? I didn't realise that Doctor Smith had released you so soon."

"She didn't… I escaped. I need to talk to you Kristin and since you won't come to me, I thought I'd come to you." He said accusingly.

"I'm sorry. I know I said we'd talk but I've…"

"Been avoiding me." Bridger supplied.

"No, it's not that. It's just…"

He held up a hand to silence her. "Please Kristin, there's something I need to say. Something I should have said a long time ago."

"I…" ~ God, why couldn't she make a coherent sentence? ~

"Please let me say this… I need to apologise for what happened between us."

"Nothing happened."

"I wouldn't call it nothing but I know it was all my fault that it went wrong. I was scared Kris. Scared of loving again… I was so afraid of getting hurt that I didn't think of how much I was hurting you. When you left I tried to convince myself that it was for the best. I knew that if I allowed myself to love you as much as I wanted to and anything happened to you, it would destroy me. And I couldn't face it so I let you go. I realised almost immediately that it was the worst mistake of my life. I tried to find you and it tore me apart when I couldn't. I love you Kristin, with all my heart… Tell me there's a chance for us, please…"

Kristin hadn't believed that a declaration of love could hurt so much. She'd waited so long to hear the words from him and now it was too late… Too damn late…

"Kris?"

When she turned to face him her tears were flowing freely again. "I'm sorry Nathan."

Bridger felt as though someone had punched him in the stomach. He had expected her to be angry or forgiving but not this. He suddenly went weak at the knees and grabbed the table for support. Kristin was beside him in an instant and helped him into a chair. It was then that he caught the glint of the diamond on the third finger of her left hand.

Kristin saw the despair cloud his features and followed his gaze. "I'm sorry Nathan." She repeated. "I'm so sorry." She knelt at his feet and lay her head in his lap. "It's too late for us."

Nathan's state of mind was already fragile after the horrendous nightmare he'd just been through and her words sent him over the edge. Tears ran down his face unchecked. "Don't say that Kris… Please don't say that. I love you Baby. I love you so much. It can't be too late…" He took her face in his hands and raised her chin until he could look into her eyes. "Don't do this, baby. I need you. I can't survive without you, not now."

"Nathan when seaQuest was destroyed and you took the job designing the new one, I thought it could work, but it didn't. You were never there. I needed more than the occasional one-night fling… I wanted it to be more but you didn't."

"They weren't just flings Kris – not to me. Making love with you was so much more than I'd ever imagined. The depth of passion terrified me and I ran… But I did try to contact you and explain. I wanted desperately to tell you that I was wrong and beg you to give me another chance but I couldn't find you. I'm begging you now…"

Kristin was distraught. "I can't Nathan, I just can't."

"Please Kris, please, please…" He slid off the chair and knelt down in front of her. His lips kissed her forehead, her cheeks and then his mouth was on hers. It was a desperate kiss, full of need and love…

At first she tried to fight it but he had ignited a flame in her that she thought long dead and she returned it with equal passion until a sound from outside disturbed her and she pulled away from him. "I'm sorry."

As she tried to stand Nathan held her firmly in his grip. "Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't love me and then I'll let you go."

She tried to struggle free. "Don't do this… Please don't do this."

"Look at me Kris."

She met his gaze and their eyes locked. "Now, tell me."

Kristin fought to get the words out but she couldn't. ~ God, she couldn't bear to see him like this. ~

As she opened her mouth to speak there was a tap on the hatch and a crewman stuck his head around the door. "The launch is ready whenever you are Doctor."

She tore herself from Nathan's grasp and grabbed her bag, running out of the door in her haste to get away and slamming it behind her. His agonised cry followed her down the corridor. "Kristin…!"

Bridger stared at the closed hatch for a long time, praying that she would return but after an hour he knew she wasn't coming back. He stood slowly and made his way to the bunk, laying down wearily on it. He could still smell her perfume on the pillow and hugged it tightly to him but he couldn't cry anymore… He was physically and emotionally drained. Quietly he whispered. "You should have let me die, Kris. It would have been so much easier."

When the jet finally touched down at NCQ, Kristin was completely shattered. She stumbled as she descended the steps and strong arms reached out to support her. She looked up into the loving eyes of Scott Keller.

"God, Kristin… You look exhausted. Is Nathan okay?"

"Mmm hmm… He's cured."

"Thank God. Now let's get you home before you drop."

He gently led her to the waiting car and they drove home in silence. When they arrived, Scott quickly rushed out to open the front door and then returned to scoop her up into his arms, carrying her all the way to the bedroom. "Is there anything you need, darling?"

Kristin shook her head tiredly. "Just you… Hold me please… Hold me tight and don't let go until I fall asleep."

Scott was worried sick, he'd never seen her this distressed before. " "It's okay, honey… I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. Rest now. Just close your eyes and rest." He lay down beside her and pulled her body firmly against his. Her head on his chest and his hand cupping the back protectively as she succumbed to the fatigue that washed over her.

It was dark when she opened her eyes again. Scott had slipped away while she slept and she found him sitting outside looking at the stars. "Hey."

"Hello there. Feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you." Kristin didn't really know how she was feeling if she was being honest but it seemed easier to lie to him than hurt him with the truth. And anyway, what could she say?

Almost two weeks later, Nathan was walking dejectedly down one of the main shopping streets of NCQ trying to think of something to do to occupy his time. In their infinite wisdom, the powers that be had given him extended leave for some r'n'r. Not that he could blame them… After everything that had happened he wasn't fit to command a toy sailboat let alone a state-of-the-art submarine.

<< Wendy had found him asleep in seaQuest's guest quarters and ordered him back to med-bay but when they had tried to separate him from the pillow he was holding, he had gone berserk and in the end they allowed him to keep it; thinking that he'd lost his mind. But he hadn't cared… He needed to be close to her and, if this was all he had, he didn't care what they thought.

He was vaguely aware of being moved to med-bay… Of anxious faces staring down at him but nothing mattered anymore – nothing. In his tortured mind all he could see was Kristin's tear-stained face; all he could hear was 'It's too late'… And all he could feel was despair – an agony of mind, body and soul. He felt a sharp pain in his arm and then the darkness that a few days ago he had feared, engulfed him and he welcomed it… When he had lost Carol the hurt had been excruciating, but this pain was too much to bear. >>

He was startled by the sound of his name. "Nathan, my God it's been a long time."

Refocusing his thoughts he looked up. "Scott-man, what the hell are you doing here?"

They were sitting in a local café drinking coffee and Scott noticed that his friend had gone quiet. Studying him for a moment, he knew that something was very wrong. "Look, why don't we get out of here and go somewhere where we can have a proper drink and talk?"

Bridger merely nodded and then as an afterthought he said, "I'm staying at the NCQ hotel but I can't get back in until later."

"No problem. We'll go back to my girlfriend's place. She won't be back 'til late."

Nathan perked up for a moment. "Girlfriend? Scott-man you surprise me! I didn't think you had time for such things."

"Well this one is different and technically not my girlfriend."

"Boyfriend?" Nathan supplied helpfully.

Scott gave him a scathing look. "No… Actually she's my fiancée."

A genuine smile lit the other man's face. "Well congratulations Scott." He took his friend's hand and shook it. "She must really be something. When do I get to meet her?"

"She is Nathan. You know it's funny, I've always envied you…"

"Envied me? My life hasn't exactly been a happy one."

"I know that, but I used to watch you with Carol and wonder if I'd ever find someone to build that kind of relationship with."

"And now you have?"

"Yes."

"Then hold on to her Scott. Hold on tight and don't let go." The sadness had returned to his features.

"Hey, are you going to be here long?"

"About another month, why?"

He slapped him on the shoulder. "How would you like to be my bestman?"

"Scott, I'd be honoured."

Keller noticed that the smile had faded from Bridger's face and it had taken on a haunted look. "I'm sorry. Look, let's go have that drink."

Over two hours later Bridger finally went silent. He'd told his friend absolutely everything about his life since Carol had died but when it came to his current unhappiness, he hadn't gone into specifics. Never once mentioning Kristin's name or how they knew each other, just that they'd split up because of his stupidity and now it was too late for them.

"Try to find her Nathan… You have to. If you love her this much, you'll find a way to make it right."

"I don't know where to look…" There was an anguished expression on his face. "I love her Scott. I love her so much…"

"I'm sorry my friend, I know that if I ever lost Kristin it would kill me."

A wave of nausea suddenly surged through Bridger's body and then he thought that maybe he'd misheard. "Who?"

"Lord I didn't tell you, did I? I'm going to marry your old CMO – Kristin Westphalen."

Scott walked over to the mantle, took down a framed photograph and handed it to him. It showed the two of them holding each other close on a beach somewhere.

Nathan hadn't bothered to look around the room when they arrived and hadn't noticed the photograph. But now that her name had been mentioned he began to notice other things; a pair of crystal dolphins that he'd given her… Other photographs and the faint smell of her perfume in the air. Suddenly he felt the overwhelming urge to run…

"Nathan, are you okay?" Before he could answer the comm-unit chirped for attention. "Excuse me for a moment, that'll be Kristin. I'll take it in the other room."

"Of course." Bridger replied absently as he continued to stare at the image in his hand.

A few minutes later Scott returned. "I'm sorry Nathan but…"

He looked around the room and found himself alone. Nathan's glass was empty and the photograph rested facedown, on the coffee table.

Scott rolled out of bed, disturbed by the insistent bleep of the comm-unit. He glanced quickly at the clock… ~ Who the hell, would be calling at 2:30am? ~ When he activated the system he found himself looking at a Law Enforcement Officer. "Commander Keller?"

"Yes. Can I help you, Officer?"

"I hope so, Sir. We have a man in custody who's had far too much to drink."

"What has that got to do with me?"

"He said you'd bail him out."

"Who is it?"

"His U.E.O ID says Captain Nathan Bridger."

Scott was absolutely astounded. "I'll be right there."

"Thank you, Sir."

Slipping quietly back into the bedroom he hastily threw on some clothes but as he was about to leave, a sleepy voice stopped him. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes honey, everything's fine. I just have to go help out a friend. Go back to sleep. I'll be home as soon as I can."

"But it's almost 2:45."

"I know, but he's a very good friend." Scott leaned over to kiss her and then headed out to the car.

When he arrived at Police HQ he was taken to the cells. Bridger made a pitiful sight, curled up in an almost foetal position on one of the hard bunks.

"What the hell happened?"

"We don't know, Sir. We had a call to say that there was a drunk lying in the gutter in town. From what we could tell, it looked as though he'd fallen down a flight of stairs. He was pretty dazed and very drunk. Normally we would have thrown him in the tank with the other drunks but when we checked his ID we put him in here instead." He paused a moment and let out a derisive snort. "Geez, it's scary to think that if there was ever another war, our safety would be in the hands of guys like that."

"If your life were in that man's hands Officer, you'd be one of the safest people on the planet."

The other man merely shrugged and unlocked the door. He strode over to Bridger and shook him roughly. "Come on Captain, rise and shine. Someone's here to take you home."

Scott Keller crossed to his side and squeezed his shoulder gently.

"Kristin…?"

Keller hesitated for a moment - a puzzled expression on his face. "No Nathan it's me, Scott. Come on; let's get you back to your hotel. You need to sleep this off."

As he stood Nathan staggered slightly and Scott could see a large bruise forming on his temple. "Looks as though you need to get checked by a doctor too. I'll have Kristin come by in the morning."

"No!" He replied forcefully and then more calmly, "No, don't do that. I'll see someone myself."

"Okay, well let's get you home."  ~ God Nathan, she must have been some woman to bring you to your knees. ~

It was a little after 4:30am when he finally made it back to Kristin. He tried not to wake her when he slid back under the covers but she turned to face him. "Scott…"

"I'm sorry honey, I tried not to disturb you."

"Don't you know that doctors are like dolphins? We sleep with one eye open." She joked.

Scott pulled her close to him.

"Is your friend okay?"

"Yeah I think so."

"What happened?"

"Nothing Kris. I just had to bail him out of jail."

"What the hell for?"

"He was drunk… very drunk."

"In that case, a night in the cells is probably what he deserved."

"Kristin, it was Nathan."

She was silent for a moment, biting down on her lip to stifle the gasp that threatened to escape. "Tell me… please."

"Kris."

"He's my friend too."

Scott told her briefly what had happened that day and then added, "It's strange Kris… When I shook his shoulder to wake him, the first thing he said was your name."

Kristin closed her eyes to the pain that coursed through her.

"Why was that, honey?"

"Probably because he was disoriented. Don't forget that for a few days while he was ill, every time he woke up I was there."

"Of course. Let's try and get some sleep."

Kristin lay staring at the ceiling as the first light of dawn filtered through the curtains, grateful beyond words that Scott had accepted her explanation. Silent tears ran down her cheeks and finally she slipped out of bed and went out onto the beach to watch the dawn, unaware that Scott still lay awake; a troubled frown on his face. And on the balcony of his hotel room Nathan Bridger watched as the sun came up on three very lost and confused people.

A few days later, Kristin was trying resolutely to work on her latest research project when her comm buzzed for attention. As the screen flared to life she found herself looking at Scott Keller.

"Hi, Kris."

"Scott, is something wrong?"

"No honey. I've just been called back to the base."

Kristin couldn't hide her disappointment. "When do you leave?"

"In a couple of hours."

"Where are you now?"

"I'm just heading for the airport."

"I'll meet you there."

Before he had time to respond she had broken the link: grabbed her keys and was running to the car.

The drive had taken far longer than usual and when she eventually made it to the information desk, she was told that the plane was scheduled to leave an hour early.

Kristin ran out onto the tarmac and just as Scott was about to board, he heard her call his name.

"I'm sorry Kris. I tried to call but you'd already left. The weather is closing in at the other end so we have to go early."

She slipped her arms around his waist and he reached up to stroke her face tenderly; his other hand on the small of her back. Kristin couldn't help but notice the sadness in his eyes. "I'll finish up here and join you as soon as I can."

"No."

She looked taken aback. "But Scott, I want to be with you."

"And I want you with me honey, but…" His voice faltered and a feeling of unease washed over her.

"But…?"

"Kris, we have to say goodbye." She opened her mouth to speak but he pressed his fingers to her lips to silence her. "I need you Kristin, but I think that there's someone who needs you more."

She couldn't speak for a moment. "Scott, I…"

"Shh… it's okay, I understand now. I was so worried when you returned from seaQuest – nothing seemed quite the same… And when I saw the state that Nathan was in, I finally understood."

"Scott please… There was something between us, a long time ago, but it died. It was over almost before it began."

"It isn't over, we both know that. He's crazy about you and it's obvious that you still care for him."

"But I love you too." She was distraught.

"Yes, but could I really make you happy? What about when I'm in space for months at a time – what then? It would be selfish of me to expect you to wait alone."

"I would."

"I know Kristin. And I know if I asked you to come with me now and never see Nathan again, you would. But that doesn't make it right. Nathan is a good man, far better than I am, and he will always be there for you - or just a call away. I can't be."

"But I thought… I thought you loved me."

"I do… I love you enough to let you go, and that's more than I've ever loved anyone… or anything." He reached out to wipe the tears from her eyes, silently thanking God that he'd prepared himself for this… If he hadn't he would have given in and nothing would have been resolved.

"I don't know what to do." She whispered.

"Then I'll tell you. I have to board this jet but before I can do that, you have to walk away."

"Scott…"

"No. You have to turn around and walk away. Go find him." When she hesitated he said. "You know, I'm more than capable of screwing this up so, no looking back… Understand?"

She nodded and looked up at him miserably. On impulse he grabbed her and held her close, his lips meeting hers in one last lingering kiss. "Now go… Go."

Kristin turned away slowly, her hand in his and then just their fingertips touching until she slipped out of reach altogether. "Be happy, my love…" In a whisper he added. "Be happy enough for both of us."

As he watched she quickened her pace until she was running through the terminal door. When she disappeared from his sight he turned and with leaden feet, boarded the jet.

After spending another week in NCQ, Nathan Bridger had finally decided that it was time to go home. 'Home' the very word taunted him. When he had been assigned to build the new seaQuest he'd realised that it would be impossible to commute from his island so he'd bought a house a few miles out of town - on the beach, of course.

He'd been working on it during the free time he had, which wasn't much, wanting it to be perfect – not just for him but Kristin too. He'd finally realised that seeing her on the odd night that they both happened to be free, wasn't enough for him. As much as he had tried to deny it, he was deeply and hopelessly in love and it scared the hell out of him. He'd never felt this overwhelmed by anyone.

He'd taken a few days leave, going off alone to think about his future and ultimately acknowledged that he didn't have one without Kristin. But when he'd finally found the courage to tell her – she was gone…

Bridger walked dejectedly around the bare, half-decorated rooms and then entered the bedroom…

They'd been out shopping one afternoon and he'd surreptitiously brought the conversation around to decorating and décor. She had suddenly stopped, dragged him back the way they had come and through the door of a furniture store. "Can I show you something?"

"What?"

She'd led him over to the display bedrooms and one in particular. "This is something I've always dreamed of… My idea of the perfect bedroom."

Nathan had studied it carefully and he had to admit that it was special, right down to the cream-coloured carpet, the brass four-poster bed and the wispy material of the curtains. It suited her perfectly… So, the first room he'd decorated had been the bedroom. He'd matched the colour scheme and contents exactly. Going on to add the other items that she'd said she would have wanted.

Tears welled up in his eyes and he hurriedly closed the door, walking back to the living room and slumping down onto a packing crate, his hands clenching into fists at his sides.  ~ Damn! Damn, damn, damn… ~ He'd intended to recommence his work, but now his limited enthusiasm had waned and he rested his chin in his hands and stared unseeing at the wall.

In his mind's eye he could envision Kristin happily married to Scott. Sharing their lives, love and laughter while he remained alone and forgotten. It hurt… It hurt like hell. The sound of knocking echoed hollowly through the empty rooms and he stood wearily to answer the door.

He pulled it open with more force than was necessary and found himself face-to-face with the woman of his dreams.

"Hello, sailor."

Bridger was elated, confused and distraught, all at once. It was all he could do to speak. "Kristin…"

"May I come in?"

His mind screamed ~ No! Please just go… I can't handle this right now - not here… I can't. ~ But instead he stepped aside to let her pass.

They stood awkwardly in the hallway before he guided her to the living room and indicated a packing case. "Would you like to sit down?"

"Thank you." He noticed that she only remained seated for a few moments before standing again and crossing to the window to look out over the water. "My God, this view is incredible!" When he didn't respond she continued. "You have no idea how much I missed the ocean when I was in the desert with Scott."

Bridger winced and swallowed hard but remained silent - just watching her every move and wondering why she had come.

Finally she turned and looked around the room. "How long have you had this place, Nathan?"

The sound of his name on her lips was like a caress and he steeled himself as a fresh wave of agony coursed through him. "Over a year."

"And you haven't decorated yet?"

"I started when I first bought it but…"

"But what?"

"When I bought it, I had all sorts of plans for the future, but suddenly the future changed and I didn't see the point in continuing."

"You mean you went back to sea."

"No I mean… " He considered his words carefully. "I lost my motivation."

"Oh."

"Kristin, why are you here? I thought that after you left seaQuest…"

"We wouldn't see each other again?" She finished for him.

"Yes…" He closed his eyes momentarily to the torment in his soul. "Please go Kris, I can't do this… I can't stand here making small-talk with you as though everything is all right - It's killing me."

She seemed bent on torturing him. "Why?"

"God Kristin, you know why…!"

"Tell me."

His legs didn't seem to be able to support him any longer and he sank down onto the nearest crate. "Because I love you Kris, I love you so much it hurts… and you're marrying my best friend. Because it was us that I bought this house for, not just me, and now I can't bear the thought of staying here alone…" He couldn't go on.

Kristin knelt in front of him, gently took his hands from his face and wiped away the few stray tears that had escaped his eyes. "I'm not going to marry Scott."

Hope flowered inside him for a second but he clamped down on it. The hurt would be unbearable if…

"We both decided that it would be best."

"I thought you loved him? I know he loves you." His own pain was discarded in his concern for his friends.

She looked at him for a moment. "Yes, but there was a problem."

"Kris, there's no problem that can't be overcome if you love each other enough."

"You really believe that?" The trepidation that she had felt since she arrived dissipated slightly.

"Yes I do." He replied with conviction. "Go and find him. Sort it out."

"I can't."

"Why not? What is it, baby?"

A sudden wave of elation almost overwhelmed her when she heard his term of endearment. "I do love Scott, Nathan. But not enough to spend the rest of my life with him."

"You love him and that…"

She spoke before he had a chance to finish. "But I love you more." She sat back on her heels watching the emotions warring on his features and waited nervously for his response.

"Scott?"

"Has gone back to his desert."

"And?"

"And…" Kristin took a deep breath, this was the moment that would decide her fate. "…I'm all yours… If you still want me." It sounded like a plea even to her own, ears.

"If I…? Oh God, Kris…" he pulled her tightly into his arms. "I've never wanted anything more, in my life." Nathan buried his face in her hair for a few long moments, allowing everything to sink in – His heart thumping wildly in his chest. When he finally found the strength to pull away, he took her face in his hands, his eyes locking with hers and scanning their depths with a burning intensity. There was an almost desperate tone to his voice as he asked, "You're sure about this, baby? Absolutely, sure? I couldn't survive if I let you into my life now, only to lose you again."

Kristin stroked her fingertips lovingly down his cheek and across his lips. "I'm positive Nathan. I want to share the rest of my life with you - and only you… If you'll let me?"

With a groan of something akin to agony, his mouth joined hers in a passionate kiss. His tongue caressed her lips, begging for entry, and she willingly opened them to receive it. As their tongues tangled he slowly lowered her to the floor; his leg slipping between hers to press against her; moving gently as their passion grew.

Abruptly, he tore himself away and helped her to her feet. "Come on, there's something I want to show you."

"Now?" Kristin asked in astonishment.

"Yeah, right now." A feeling of tenderness welled up in her when she saw the smile on his face. It was like the sun coming out after months of rain.

He took her to a door and stopped outside. "Close your eyes."

"Nathan!"

"Please Kris, just humour me."

She complied grudgingly and heard the sound of a door being opened. He led her forward before closing it again. She could feel soft carpet under her feet.

"Okay, you can open them now."

The sight took her breath away and her eyes were moist with tears but she couldn't seem to say anything.

Nathan's expression had changed to one of doubt. "You don't like it." His disappointment was obvious but as he tried to walk away, Kristin grabbed for him.

"I'm sorry. It was such a shock. I love it… It's exactly what I've always dreamed of."

The smile reappeared and his eyes lit up with happiness. "I know. You told me, remember?"

"I…" The memories flooded back and her hands flew up to cover her face. Her tears finally escaping. "You mean you did this for me? This whole… Oh God, I'm so sorry, I didn't know… I didn't know."

"Shh…" It was his turn to comfort her… He took her hands from her face and wiped away the teardrops with his thumbs, just as she had earlier. "There's nothing to be sorry for. It was my fault Kristin, I told you that. But none of it is important… You're here now and that's all that matters. You're home…"

Unable to hold himself in check any longer, he pulled her to him. Kristin's hands slid up his back and the emotions that surged through him at her touch were so powerful they left him gasping. His breathing was ragged and he groaned audibly in reaction to the feeling of her body pressed close to his after so long apart. Tightening his arms around her he rested his cheek against hers and whispered. "Do you have any idea how much I love you? I only wish I could find the words to tell you, but I can't…"

"Then don't even try… just show me, Nathan…" Her breath was warm in his ear. "Show me…"