He lay back on his bunk, forearm across his eyes, taking deep steadying breaths and listening for the inevitable knock on the door. He didn't have to wait long. "Come in, Commander."

An extremely irate Jonathan Ford entered the cabin. "Just what was that all about, Captain? I don't know what…"

Bridger's voice stopped him mid-sentence. "I was out of line, Commander. I apologise."

Ford shifted awkwardly in the doorway. He knew that something wasn't right, had felt it for over a week, but he wasn't sure that he should interfere. "Sir, if *I’m* not out of line, is there something wrong?"

Nathan sighed wearily. "I wish I knew Jonathan, I wish I knew."

Seeing an opening Ford closed the hatch and pulled out a chair, waiting for Bridger to continue – he didn't. "Is it your head? If you're having problems then maybe you should go to med-bay."

"My head's fine, Commander. It's… a personal matter."

"Then maybe you should talk to Dr. Westphalen. I could have O'Neill put through a call for you."

"She won't answer."

"I don't understand."

"Neither do I."

Bridger sounded so unhappy that Jonathan was beginning to get concerned, but then again, it really was none of his business. "I'm sorry I disturbed you, I'll…"

"No, please stay. I need someone to talk to and you're the closest I have to a friend on this boat. That is, if you don't mind?"

"Of course not, Captain. I'd like to help, if I can."

"Nathan."

"Sir?"

"If we're gonna have this conversation, then let's make it Nathan and Jonathan, okay?"

"Fine… Nathan."

"So when you left NCQ everything was fine?"

"I thought so… Yeah, I know it was."

"And you haven't spoken to her since?" Jonathan questioned.

"Not for want of trying." The older man replied bitterly.

Ford tried to keep things factual. "Nothing could have happened after you got back, so it must have been while you were on leave."

"There was nothing. We even…" He shook his head sadly. "There was nothing."

"Not between the two of you maybe, but perhaps someone else?"

"We didn't see anyone except…" Nathan paused for a moment. "Except Dr. Smith."

"Smith?"

"She stopped by the house and she and Kristin had an argument."

"Does Kristin know about you and Wendy?"

Nathan looked at him in astonishment and Ford realised that he'd probably gone too far. "I'm sorry Sir, that's none of my business."

"It's okay Jonathan." He was too damn tired to take offence. "Kristin doesn't know because there's nothing to know. Nothing happened between Wendy and I."

Now it was Ford's turn to look surprised. "But we all thought that you…" He stopped abruptly.

"That we what?"

"Well, finding you alone together on your island… Wendy missing our boat trip the day before, with no explanation… And from what she’s…"

They were interrupted by the comm-unit. "Bridger."

"I have an incoming call for you, Sir. It's Dr. Westphalen."

Ford smiled and rose from his seat. "I'll leave you alone, Captain. Looks like you were worrying over nothing."

"God, I hope so." Nathan replied with a distinct tremor in his voice.

As he closed the hatch he heard Bridger whisper. "Hey, Baby."

He walked along the corridor intending to go to the bridge but changed course halfway and headed in the direction of med-bay.

The ship's X-O looked at Wendy in disgust. "You did what?"

Smith was only too pleased to expand on her little triumph. "Just wanted to let her know what everyone else already knows. Tell her what she's missing, woman to woman."

Before he could reply his PAL chirruped. "Ford."

Brody's voice came back to him. "Could you come to the bridge, Sir."

"Is it urgent, Lieutenant?" he snapped.

"Yes, Sir."

"On my way." He returned his attention to Smith. "I'll be back, Doctor."

"What's so important, Lieutenant?"

Brody spoke quietly. "We have an unauthorised launch, Sir."

"Unauthorised?"

"Commander, someone stole a single-seater craft."

"Have you reported it to Security?"

"I didn't think you'd want me to do that. It was the captain."

Ford closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose between finger and thumb. "I authorised it, Jim."

"It's not in the log."

"The captain was called away unexpectedly." He hedged. "Look Jim, it's classified so keep it to yourself."

"Do I enter it?"

"No. You have the bridge."

Brody looked at him dubiously. "Aye Sir."

When he was in the corridor once more, Ford leaned against the bulkhead for a moment. Almost inaudibly he whispered. "Good luck Captain. I just hope she's worth it."

The journey home seemed interminable. Once he’d programmed the co-ordinates into the guidance system, he had nothing to do but think.

He replayed their brief conversation over and over in his mind. ‘Maybe they’d been too hasty in moving in together.’ ‘Perhaps the arrangement they’d had before had been better.’ ‘They should give it time…’ But the thing that had him rushing home was, ‘Goodbye.’ She’d said ‘Goodbye, Nathan,’ when she broke the connection…

He hadn’t even stopped to consider the consequences of his actions. All he knew was he had to see her. If he could talk to her face to face, then maybe… He was tired, confused and miserable all at once. He had no idea what had prompted her actions, he only knew that he couldn’t lose her. No matter what…

Finally, finally he’d arrived. He beached the craft in a hidden cove and made his way along the shore just as the sun began to go down. His nervousness increasing the closer he got to home, wondering what he would find, or more accurately, what he wouldn’t. Turning the key in the lock he quietly entered the house, knowing immediately that she wasn’t there. He could always sense her presence – the place seemed more welcoming somehow.

Deciding that he needed a drink he walked into the lounge and headed for the cabinet, tripping over something in the half-light. Bending down he found a box containing some of her possessions. His chest tightened and his hands clenched into fists. He quickly replaced the couple of items he’d dislodged and then poured himself a large scotch before settling down to wait.

Kristin closed the front door and breathed a sigh of relief. The days were becoming more and more difficult to get through. There were times when she didn’t even want to get out of bed, let alone go to work. She threw her keys onto the hall table and walked into the lounge, crossing to the window to watch the sunset and jumping when she caught sight of his reflection in the glass.

“Nathan? What are you doing here?”

That wasn’t the greeting he’d hoped for and he was a little put out. “I live here, remember.”

“I meant… I didn’t know you had leave, why didn’t you tell me?”

“That would have been pretty difficult since you won’t talk to me.” He retorted and immediately regretted it when he saw her face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. “I came here to talk, not fight.”

“Talk about what?” She asked obtusely.

He didn’t take the bait. “About us… About what it is I’ve done to upset you. I just need to know that everything is alright between us.”

Kristin didn’t reply just turned to look out of the window again.

Nathan’s patience was tested to the limit. “Damn it! Talk to me! Obviously, I’ve done something wrong, so would you mind telling me what it is?”

“You don’t know?”

“Would I be asking if I did?”

A flash of anger crossed her face but she didn’t respond.

“Kris?” His voice betrayed his frustration.

“You don’t remember?”

He began to mentally go through all the dates and times he knew were important to her but nothing sprang to mind. “No.”

“Then let me refresh your memory.” She walked out of the door and he heard her moving around in the bedroom, before returning with a piece of paper in her hand.

“Here, see if this helps.” She passed it to him and then opened the French doors and walked out onto the veranda.

As Nathan read the letter his face registered all his emotions… annoyance, shock and finally, understanding. Sighing heavily he followed her outside and sat in one of the chairs. “You believe this?”

“Should I?”

“It isn’t true. I would never…”

She interrupted him. “So, the incident in the horticultural section never happened?”

“No… Well yes, but…”

“And Wendy’s never been to your island? You never took her there?”

“Yes and no…” Nathan stammered.

“Christ Nathan, make up your mind!”

“Kris please, let me explain.” He almost pleaded.

She glanced back at him and crossed her arms over her midriff – a sure sign that she was angry. “Go for it and make it good.”

“It did happen, but not the way it sounds here.” He waved the piece of paper at her back. “I was showing Wendy some of the plants I’d been cultivating…”

“Makes a change from showing her your etchings.” Kristin muttered.

“What?”

She didn’t really want to get into explaining English humour at that precise moment. “Go on.”

“Tony suddenly popped up out of the pool and made us both jump.”

“And she just happened to jump right into your arms.”

“She was startled.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You remember at that time, our relationship was on/off? More off than on actually. I was disappointed that you weren’t going to spend some time with me while I was on leave.”

“So you decided to substitute one doctor for another?”

“For God’s sake!” Nathan’s temper, flared. “Are you going to let me explain or not?”

Kristin just shrugged.

“Thank you. I went out to the island and Wendy followed me. I’d be lying if I said that there wasn’t some sort of attraction between us – there was. But it was fleeting.”

“So you didn’t dance with her… alone… on your island?”

“Yes I did.”

Kristin turned quickly and he could see the hurt on her face.

“Kris, it didn’t mean anything.”

She returned her gaze to the darkening horizon. “It meant something to her.” Her voice shook.

“Yes.” He closed his eyes for a moment. “Apparently, it did.”

Kristin took a deep breath. “Why Nathan? Why did you do it?”

“I wish to God I knew. Haven’t you ever done anything on the spur of the moment and then regretted it?”

“Why would you regret it?”

“Because…” He moved up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders tentatively. “…She wasn’t you.” He heard her sniffle. “I was hurt and I was lonely. I know that doesn’t make it right but I’d been so looking forward to spending my leave with you, showing you my island, and when you said no…”

“Did you…?” Her voice faltered. “Did you ‘dance in the dark’ with her, as she so delicately put it?”

He turned her around to face him and tilted her chin until she was looking into his eyes. “No Kristin, I didn’t. I swear to you. I would never…”

“That’s exactly what my last husband said.” There was a hint of irony in her voice.

“And how did you know he was lying?”

“I received a woman to woman note one day, just like that one.”

“God, I’m sorry. I…”

“Why didn’t you tell me? I knew the minute I saw the two of you together that something was wrong.”

“I was afraid. I love you Kristin. I love you so damn much. If… Tell me I haven’t lost you Baby, please…?”

There were tears in his eyes as he spoke and in her heart she believed him, but the cynical part of her wouldn’t be silenced. Just as she was about to reply, the doorbell rang surprising them both.

A momentary panic crossed Nathan’s face. “Are you expecting anyone?”

“Yes. I promised Janet that…”

“Janet Noyce?”

“Who else?”

“Hell! Just give me a minute to get out of sight.” The bell chimed again. “I’ll be in the bedroom.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’m not supposed to be here.” He replied over his shoulder as he disappeared.

Kristin’s hand flew to her mouth. “You mean…”

His head reappeared around the door. “Yes.” He nodded. “I’m AWOL.”

From inside the bedroom Nathan could hear the women’s voices but he couldn’t make out what was being said. After a few minutes Kristin came in through the door. “You have to get out of here.”

“What did you tell her?”

“That I was running late and I needed a few minutes to change.”

“Kristin…”

“You have to leave, now. Bill will be here in ten minutes.”

“Kris…”

“Go.”

“Not until you answer my question.” He replied stubbornly.

“I’ll call you.”

“I’ve heard that before. I’m not…”

Janet’s voice sounded from outside the door. “Kristin, are you ready? Bill’s here.”

“Go.”

She hastily pulled a clean t-shirt over her head, grabbed a cardigan and left the room.

Kristin was working in her office when a bleep from her comm distracted her. Looking up she saw a UEO logo and immediately felt guilty. It had been two weeks since Nathan’s unexpected visit. She’d meant to keep her promise and call him but the more she thought about their relationship, the more muddled she’d become and she was no closer to a decision. Almost reluctantly, she hit the receive button and was relieved to see that it was Lucas and not Nathan.

“Hi Doc! How’ya doin’?”

“Fine thanks. You?”

“Okay, I guess. A bit bored to tell you the truth.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well we were supposed to be picking up some diplomat and taking him to some hush-hush conference.”

“I’ll bet Nathan loved that.” She smiled.

“Oh yeah.” The boy was positively grinning. “Anyway, the guy’s late and seaQuest got called away, so we had to leave the Captain in Australia while we went off and tended to this other thing.”

“I see.”

“The Cap was *not* happy. He’s been upset since he returned from some secret meeting a couple of weeks ago and this just made it worse. Have you spoken to him lately?”

Kristin felt a wave of relief as she realised that Commander Ford must have covered for him. “No, I haven’t.”

“Maybe that’s why then. He’s really down and kinda depressed. Anyway, we’ve had word that our passenger is enroute and should be with the Cap in about three days. Meanwhile, he gets to live it up in a flashy hotel.”

“On his own?”

“Yeah, for now. Tim and Wendy are supposed to join him tomorrow.”

Kristin bristled. “I can understand Tim, but why Smith?”

“Apparently, this guy’s got some kind of heart problem and Wendy suggested to the UEO that they have a doctor on hand, just in case.”

“I’ll bet she did.”

“Sorry Doc?”

“Nothing.”

“Well, I gotta go, just thought I’d say hello.”

“I’m glad you did. Take care of yourself Lucas.”

“You too.”

The screen went dark.

Nathan Bridger hadn’t been able to concentrate on the paperwork he’d brought with him. The words kept swimming in front of his eyes. In the end he’d given up and gone for a long walk, eventually finding a secluded spot in a local park. As he stared out over the lake his thoughts turned to Kristin again. She seemed to be all he could think about these days.

Why hadn’t she called? She’d promised that she would. He’d explained what had happened, the best way he knew how. Tried to be honest about everything… But he had to admit that it sounded lame, even to his ears.

Why had he done it? God only knew, he didn’t. And now this mess, the waiting, the not-knowing… He’d almost called her several times but stopped himself at the last moment. He didn’t want to push her, but he was going quietly insane.

He’d intended to confront Wendy when he got back to the boat but he hadn’t the heart for it. He’d wanted to be angry, tell her to get the hell off his submarine… But the hurt on Kristin’s face had taken the wind out of his sails. He felt drained, lonely, and downright miserable. He’d simply avoided his CMO instead, which had probably been a huge mistake. Now he’d been told she would be joining him… Same hotel – everything. His first instinct was to protest but, when it came down to it, he hadn’t got the energy. He’d just have to keep avoiding her.

When he arrived back at the hotel he headed straight for the lifts but the desk clerk called him back.

“What is it?” He snapped.

“I’m sorry Sir, but I have a message for you.”

“Yes?”

“Your wife checked in about half-an-hour ago.”

“My wife?” Nathan looked astonished.

“Yes Sir.”

His brain wasn’t working particularly well due to lack of sleep, but he knew that it definitely wasn’t Carol and Kristin was miles away. That left only one person… “Damn it!” He cursed loudly.

“Is something wrong?”

“What? Oh… Tell me, what did she look like?”

“Your wife, Sir?”

Nathan could see that the young man thought he’d taken leave of his senses. “Humour me.”

“Well, I didn’t pay that much attention. She was wearing a hat and sunglasses so I really couldn’t see her face. She had a nice figure though.”

“Thanks... for nothing.” He growled and turned away from the desk.

The clerk called after him. “Oh… one thing… She had a British accent.”

Nathan returned immediately, his face brightening. “You’re sure?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Thank you, my friend.”

“Did you want me to call security for you?”

“Of course not.”

“But I thought…”

“It’s fine. Everything’s fine – I hope.” He moved quickly towards the lifts.

The young man shook his head… He’d heard of sailors having a girl in every port, but a wife? That was a new one.”

Nathan bolted out of the elevator when it arrived at his floor, much to the surprise of the attendant, running down the hallway and calling Kristin’s name as he came through the door. Just when he thought that the whole thing had been some kind of sick joke, she emerged from the bathroom.

“Hello Nathan.”

Still uncertain of how things stood, he remained where he was and asked cautiously, “Does this mean you’ve forgiven me?” ~ Please God let it mean that, ~ He added mentally. “Is everything… okay?”

He waited nervously for her response, not taking his eyes from her face as she drew closer, and resisting the urge to pull her into his arms.

She reached out and caressed his cheek, running a well-manicured nail over his chin, before tracing his mouth with her fingertips. “What do you think?”

He needed to be certain about this. “Tell me.” He whispered hoarsely.

Again she caressed his lips, her touch driving him out of his mind. Taking a step forward, she stood her mouth a hair’s-breadth from his and nodded, a loving smile crossing her face before she finally kissed him.

Nathan’s response was immediate, pulling her close and holding her tightly as he returned her kiss with fervour. His lips straying down her throat and back up again, his forehead resting on hers.  “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”

“Show me.”

With a trembling hand he led her to the bedroom.

“Kris, we’re gonna be late.” Nathan called from the living area.

“Coming.”

Bridger gasped as she stepped out of the bedroom wearing a figure-hugging, red evening dress. “My God… you look stunning.”

“Thank you kind Sir.” She gave him an embarrassed smile.

As she leaned down to pick up her evening bag she felt his arms slide around her and he began to nibble her bare shoulder. His hand reaching for her zipper. Quickly, she turned in his arms and slapped it away. “On no you don’t. I’ve just spent twenty minutes wriggling into this thing and I don’t intend to have to do it again.”

Nathan gave a sulky pout.

“Besides, didn’t you say we were late?”

Grudgingly, he agreed. “Yeah… Bill’s called twice already.”

“You go ahead, there’s something I have to do.”

He looked disappointed.

“Go on. I’ll only be a moment.”

“You’d better be.”

“Better be, what?”

“Only a moment.”

“Why?”

“’cause that’s about as long as I can stand being away from you.” He kissed her hand and made his way to the door.

Wendy had been hovering by the entrance to the function room since she arrived, hoping to catch Nathan when he came in. She’d been at the hotel for two days and left dozens of messages, either inviting him to join her for breakfast, lunch, a drink, dinner or to go sightseeing… anything. But he hadn’t responded. She’d been past his door on numerous occasions, even knocked twice despite the ‘do not disturb’ sign, but he never answered. She was beginning to think that he was ill… After all, why else would he have stayed locked up in a hotel room for the duration?

He walked through the door at last, and she cast an admiring glance over his entire body. Gasping at how handsome he looked in his dress uniform, in spite of his fidgeting. As he made his way over to the bar she followed close behind and stopped at his side.

His attention was taken up with ordering, “Two glasses of champagne, please.”

The barman handed them across and as he turned in her direction, Wendy gave him a dazzling smile and took one of the drinks before he could react. “Thank you Nathan. I didn’t think you’d noticed me.”

~ I hadn’t, or I would have walked the other way. ~ Nathan muttered inaudibly. He was at a loss to understand why it was that she was so tuned in to people’s emotions yet always read him completely wrong. Maybe she just didn’t want to know. Or didn’t scan him because she knew, he’d know. Now he wasn’t sure what to do. He could hardly cause a scene here, so he settled for polite conversation. “You look very nice this evening, Doctor.”

“Why so formal, Nathan? We have the whole evening ahead of us… So what do you say we enjoy it together?” She picked at an imaginary piece of fluff on his lapel.

“I’m sorry but…”

“You know, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were avoiding me. Why on earth have you been locked away in your room, when we could have had much more fun together?”

Before he could reply another voice joined the conversation. “Excuse me Doctor Smith, but you’re in my space.”

Nathan winced and Kristin almost felt sorry for the younger woman as she flushed to the roots of her hair. The captain didn’t have to answer her question now, she could feel the desire and love radiating from him. “Er… erm… I’m sorry, please excuse me.”

“Do you think she got the message?” Kristin asked as they watched her retreating form.

“If she didn’t get yours, I’m sure she got mine.”

“You didn’t!”

“Well, she wanted to know what I’d been doing for the past couple of days, I just conjured up a couple of the less graphic images in my mind.”

She smacked him on the shoulder. “You’re terrible.”

“And you’re gorgeous.” He turned and ordered another drink.

Wendy Smith was convinced that everyone in the room had witnessed her humiliation. Every time a guest smiled at her, she took it for sympathy. And when they laughed, they were laughing at her. If she could have thought rationally, she would have known it wasn’t true, but she couldn’t.

Escaping from the crowd, she returned to the sanctuary of her room, closing and locking the door behind her. As she stepped inside, she kicked something that skittered across the floor. Turning on the light she found a folded piece of hotel stationery, the message written in a hand she didn’t recognise.

     Woman to woman, he likes to use all five senses when he makes love. He has the gentlest hands that you could ever hope to feel. Hearing you moan drives him crazy. He wants nothing more than to taste you…. Smell you… But, most of all, he needs to see what he’s doing to you, and let you see what you do to him.
     In daylight or sunlight… Twilight… Moonlight, or candlelight – very definitely. But never ever, in the dark.

                               KW
 
 

Hours later, they were lying cradled in each other’s arms, when Nathan sighed heavily.

Kristin moved her head slightly, so that she could see his face. “What’s wrong?”

“I was just wondering.”

“Wondering what?”

“How the hell I’m going to be able to leave you tomorrow.” His grip on her tightened instinctively.

She stroked his cheek lovingly. “I’ve been thinking about that.”

“And?”

“How would you like to play ‘Charlie Tuna, chauffeur of the sea’ a little longer?”

He smiled, remembering the last time he’d used that phrase – When seaQuest was ferrying around Andrea Dre. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well… I don’t have to be back in NCQ straight away… And I thought that rather than fly…” She scraped a nail over his chest. “…I could catch a lift with you. If that’s okay…?”

“God Baby, it’s more than okay.” He caressed her face and leaned in to kiss her, stopping at the last moment.

“Nathan?”

“What about…?”

“About?” She prompted, knowing what was coming but wanting him to say it.

“Dr. Smith.” He finished nervously.

“Who?” She brought her lips up to his and finished what he started.

When he recovered his breath he continued. “Seriously Kristin, what do you want me to do about her?”

“Me?”

“Yes. I could have her removed from the boat, if that’s what you want.”

“You’d do that?”

“In a heartbeat, if you asked.”

“Then…” She ran her fingertips across his lips and he drew one in, sucking on it gently. “Don’t do anything.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure. I love you Nathan Hale Bridger. I trust you not to break my heart.”

“Kris…” He rolled until she was beneath him and kissed her lips, her throat… her collarbone… His urgency increasing as passion grew.
 
 
 
 
 

                                        **** The End ****