Tears streamed down her cheeks as she held her father’s hand.  “Please daddy, don’t leave me too. Please. Please daddy.”

“It’s alright, love, I’ll always be with you.  Promise me you won’t ever give up.  Promise.” Nathan could hear the wheezing in the man’s lungs and knew he didn’t have much longer.

“I promise daddy but please don’t leave me. I need you. Daddy.”

Her pleas tugged at Nathan’s heart. “I’m sorry, he’s gone.” He laid his hands on her shoulders pulled her away from the body of her father.  The gunmen were getting closer and they needed to move before they were found.  “We have to go before they find us.”

“NO!” she screamed and Nathan quickly grabbed her and put his hand over her mouth to stifle her cries.  If they were found they weren’t going to make it out alive.

Nathan half carried, half dragged her through the ship with Crocker following not too far behind.  They made their way back to the deck of the ship.  Nathan heard the gunman getting closer.  “We have to jump.” Said Nathan to Crocker and the girl.

Out in the sun Nathan could see the girl was covered in blood, her parents’ blood. Her face was expressionless as the sun beat down upon them.  Nathan hoped she had enough fight left in her to get back to the Seawolf.

Bullets started whizzing by them, as they held tight to the wall. Without warning the girl pushed off the wall running as fast as she could and leapt over the side. Nathan and Crocker followed her as quickly as they could.

The water was cold but not numbing. As soon as Nathan came up, he scanned the water for the girl and Crocker. Crocker was beside him in seconds but the girl was nowhere to be found.  Bullets hit the water around them and the two men dove down.

Under the water Nathan saw her.  She seemed to be watching as the water pulled the red from her clothing. It swirled around her as the currents rushed around them. The quiet under the water made the scene appear supernatural.  Her hair was flowing around her like the water.  She looked like she belonged beneath the waves.

He swam down to her holding his hand out to her.  She looked at him, if she could have cried under the water Nathan was sure she would have. She put her hand into his and pulled her to the surface.

They were no longer under fire the liner having been abandoned by the gunman and the Seawolf then scuttling the attacking ship. A launch was now picking them up and would take them back to the waiting sub. Once safely back Nathan found that the girl was the only survivor. The liner that she had been on was now sinking into the sea behind them.

She remained on board the small sub for four days. The all male crew were happy to have her aboard, she reminded many of family that they hadn't seen in over three months. The crew gave up clothes and whatever else they had to give her. Having her aboard seemed to relax the crew after the intense situation they had found themselves in.

She allowed the crew to entertain her as much as they could, giving them small smiles for their efforts. Most of the men didn’t know the ordeal she had been in, standing orders were given to the crew that her presence aboard the boat was to remain a secret.  Of course the screams at night from her nightmares only woke the officers.

She only allowed Nathan or Crocker near her and only allowed Nathan to comfort her after one of her nightmares.  He was the only one she allowed to touch her. She spent the nights on Nathan’s bunk as he would watch her sleep and wake her when she started to thrash about.

She would quiet down after her nightmares and they would talk, sometimes for hours. He was a young man of twenty-eight and he felt more of a connection with the sixteen year old girl laying on his bunk than he had with his own wife.

“Are you going to tell me your name?” he asked her.

“My father called me Maria,” she said softly, tears pricking at her eyes, a hint of her British accent sounding in her voice.

“My name’s Nathan.” He said softly. She smiled weakly at him.

She cleared her throat.  “So you are married?”

Nathan ducked his head as he answered her. “Yeah.  Her name is Carol.”

“Do you have any children?”

“A son, Robert.”

“Robert, that’s a good name.” She said quietly.  “That’s my father’s name.” Nathan smiled. “I don’t think I’ll have children.  I’d be too scared to have any.”

“Life will get better and it won’t always be so scary.”

“That’s easy for you to say.” She said quietly. He laid his hand on hers trying to comfort her.

“It will get better.” He tried to assure her.

“How old is he?” she said changing the subject as she pulled her hand away from his.

"He’s three.” He said missing her hand beneath his.

Maria smiled “That’s a cute age.  Do you see him often?”

We are going home soon.”

“My father hated leaving me behind.  That’s why my mother and I were with him. He was a doctor who got involved with diplomacy through my uncle. He was very good.  I don’t know why this happened.” She broke down and Nathan moved to hold her close.

He couldn’t believe how used to her he was getting. Every time they touched the waves of electricity swept through him.  They shared a great deal of one another in the small time they were together but it felt as if they shared their lives.

The last night she was on the boat was one Nathan would never forget.  He held her to him as she cried and clung to his t-shirt.  He tried to comfort her the best he could as they sat on his bunk but her pain was overwhelming. As he stroked her hair kissing the top of her head he tried to tell her that life would get better, it had to.  She deserved better than the hand she was dealt.

She quieted wiping her eyes with her hand as if she was ashamed to have cried in front of him.  He knew she was trying to be strong for him.  “You don’t have to be strong.” He whispered into her hair. She brought her face up and looked into his eyes.  “Not for me.” He brought his hand up to caress the tear that rolled down her cheek.

Nathan noticed not for the first time that she was a beautiful girl.  He had to keep reminding himself that she was a child even though her eyes told him she held the experiences of a lifetime. It was her eyes that was his undoing, those eyes that belonged to an old woman, those deep brown eyes that he was drowning in as they came closer to him.

He wasn’t sure how since he hoped he wouldn’t dare take advantage of her but his lips were upon hers.  The kiss was innocent, soft, leaving Nathan with the feeling he was twelve years old kissing a girl for the first time. It was beautiful, it was perfect. It was a kiss he had never experienced before or since.

His heart was racing in his chest as she pulled her lips away from his. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I just needed to feel close to someone.  I’m so sorry.” She said as tears shined in her eyes. She tried to pull away from him but he wouldn’t let her go.

“It’s okay. Sh. It’s okay.” She laid her head on his chest as she brought her arms around him. His mind was racing along with his heart.  He had just kissed a girl but he had felt like the younger of the two. At that moment he didn’t want to let go of her ever and the thought of her leaving the next morning made his heart ache.  He wanted her to stay in his arms forever. His hand traveled slowly up and down her back.  He wanted to kiss her again. He wanted to make love to her. He wanted to hold her all night long and for the rest of his life.

His heart raced in his chest as she brought her head up to look into his eyes. She knew what he was thinking; maybe it was because she wanted it too. Nathan didn’t care at the moment as he brought his lips down to hers. He kissed her with a passion he had never felt before. He felt her tongue on his lips and he opened his mouth thrusting his tongue into hers.

He made love to her that night, slowly, passionately. He explored every part of her body as she explored his. They shared a connection mind, body and soul and Nathan didn’t want to give her up.  She made him feel more complete than he felt when he was with his wife or anyone he had ever met before or since. She made him whole that night.

As she slept with her head on his chest he lay awake wanting to savor every moment with her. He wanted to remember her face, the feel of her against him. Nathan wanted to cry knowing that she would leave and he would never see her again. She would be leaving for a life of who knows what and he would be heading home to resume his life with Carol and Robert.

“Breathe!” yelled Joshua Levin as he paused the chest compressions he was performing on his captain.  Kristin Westphalen breathed air into Nathan’s lungs trying furiously to get him to breath as he lay on the deck of the launch bay.

Without warning Nathan inhaled deeply as his eyes shot open and he grabbed Kristin around the back of her neck with his left hand while he grabbed her wrist with his right his whole body tensing.  “Maria.” He yelled frantically as he locked unfocused eyes with her.

Chief Crocker let out a deep breath as he sank to his knees.  “Oh thank god.” He breathed.  All others in the launch bay sighed in relief.

“Nathan.” Kristin said her voice strained with pain as the gripe Nathan had on her tightened.  “Nathan, you’re all right. Just relax, please.”  The sound of his name seemed to bring him back from where ever he was. His eyes focused on her but the memories seemed to mingle with reality.  “God, you’re beautiful.” He said as he relaxed removing his grasp from her.

She smiled down at him relief showing in her eyes.  “At the moment I think you are a bit biased, captain. Now I want you to relax, just breath.” She said as she placed the oxygen mask over his nose and mouth. He was then put on a stretcher and rushed to medbay.

“Who’s Maria?” asked Lucas quietly as he, Ford, Miguel, and Crocker followed the captain to medbay.

Chief Crocker had a feeling he knew who Maria was considering the situation they had found themselves in an hour ago. “It’s a long story, Lucas. It has to do with the first time the cap and I were sent into a situation where we had to take someone’s life in order to save another.”

Nathan awoke in medbay a small lamp by his bed illuminating the small room.  He had dreamt of her again, only this time images of Kristin were interspersed with the images of her.  He looked around the small room he occupied and found Lucas asleep in a chair next to his bed in medbay.  The boy’s head rested on the bed next to Nathan’s hand. He couldn’t help but smile as he lightly touched Lucas’ hair.

“I should wake him.”  Nathan turned his head to the doorway and smiled at his doctor.

“How long has he been there?” asked Nathan. Kristin walked into the small room and up to the monitors hooked up to Nathan.

“He’s been here for a couple hours.” Said Kristin with a smile as she wrote down the readings on from the monitor on Nathan’s chart. Nathan’s eyes hadn't left her since she had entered his room. He now noticed the cast on her left arm.

“Did I do that to your arm?” he asked quietly. She glanced down at her arm not wanting to answer him.  “I did, didn’t I?”

Kristin looked at him.  “Don’t worry about it.” She said softly.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. Now sit up for me, I need to listen to your lungs.” She said as she helped him to sit up.  Nathan watched her intently as she listened to his breathing. He thought of his dreams and of how much Kristin resembled Maria.  Maybe that was why Nathan was attracted to her, she had the same auburn hair and the same darks eyes.

“How is you shoulder?” she asked as replaced the stethoscope around her neck.

“It’s a little sore but nothing too bad.”

He watched as Kristin poured him a glass of water and placed two pills in his hand.  “Antibiotics.  I don’t want you developing pneumonia.”

“Yes doctor.” Nathan said with a smirk.

“Watch it Bridger or I’ll keep you in medbay for a week.”

“Are you hitting on me doctor?” Nathan said trying to hide his smile as he leaned back down to his pillow.

“You wish. Now get some rest.”  She brushed his hair off his forehead. She left Nathan to dream of her and Maria once again.

Nathan was released from medbay the next morning with the images from long ago still in his brain.  He wondered why he had those events of almost thirty years ago on his mind, probably because of the mission that he had returned from. He figured it was a good idea to go find Miguel Ortiz to see how the young man was doing. He found Miguel in the mess hall with Jonathan Ford, Chief Crocker and Lucas.

“Are you okay Chief?” asked Nathan said as he sat down at the table with the other men.

“I’m okay sir.” Said Miguel Ortiz rather anxiously.  “I just… I’ve never killed anyone before.” The young man choked out.

“You had no choice, Miguel.” Said Jonathan.  “He would have killed Lucas if you hadn't of stopped him.”

“I know.” Miguel said shakily nodding his head.

“Thanks Miguel.” Said Lucas quietly.

“It ain’t easy but you did what you had to do.” Said Chief Crocker.

“Have you ever…?” asked Lucas of the security chief.

Crocker nodded silently. “It’s something a lot of us have to live with.”

The men at the table were silent for some moments each lost in their own thoughts.

“Have you ever had to kill someone?” asked Lucas. The captain looked down at the tabletop a moment, the others watching him intently.

“Yes. And I don’t regret what I did.” Said Nathan.

“What happened sir?” asked Miguel/

Nathan was quiet for a moment contemplating whether or not to share his experience. It was the one and only time he had ever killed
another human being face to face and he would do it again if he had to. Sharing the experience would probably help the young man.

Nathan cleared his throat.  “I was a lieutenant commander, serving on the Seawolf. We were called in to assist this British ambassador and his entourage who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. They were attacked, we didn’t know by whom. We were sent in to rescue anyone we could find.”

Nathan leaned forward in his chair and wiped his face with his hand.  “I walked into chaos.  This guy was just shooting anything that moved.  The ambassador and his wife and daughter were caught in the crossfire.  The woman was dead. The man was backed against a wall blocking his daughter with his body.

All of a sudden the shooting stopped.  The gunman just walked over to them and shot the man in the chest. I couldn’t do anything but watch, I was too far away.” The guilt Bridger felt at his inability to help the man could be felt by all in the short space.

“I can still hear her screaming.” Said Crocker quietly. “That poor girl holding onto her father. God that was the worst experience of my life.”

“You were there?” asked Miguel.

“Yup. And shooting that son of a bitch was too good for him.”

“Did you save the girl?” asked Lucas.

“Yes. And if we hadn't have gotten blocked in the father might have made it.  We tried to get them out but he died a few minutes after we got to him.”

“I’ll never forget that man telling his daughter to be strong and to never give up.” Crocker paused a moment to rein control over his emotions.  “With all that had happened to that girl, she held her head high. I never saw her cry once we got her back on the sub, not once.  You could tell she did when she was by herself but never in front of others.”

“She was the only one we pulled off that boat.” Said Nathan quietly.  “I have no doubt that I did the right thing when I saved her life.”

 “What happened to her?” asked Lucas. Nathan shrugged his shoulders.

“She was with us for about four days and then was sent home, I guess.” Said Bridger.

“You mean you don’t know what happened to her?” asked Lucas.

“No. I didn’t even know her last name, Lucas. She wouldn’t tell anyone and considering the British government wanted to keep it low profile, we weren’t told her name. We called her Maria. ” Said Nathan.

“Is that why you said Maria?” asked Lucas.

Nathan looked at the boy, his brow furrowed.  “What do you mean?”

Crocker chuckled.  “You said ‘Maria’ after the doc revived you.” Nathan looked a bit embarrassed. The table was quiet for a moment before Nathan spoke again.

“She’s the reason Carol and I only had one child.  She said that she wasn’t going to have kids.  She was afraid that she might have to watch them die too or that they would have to watch her die. After thinking about that one for a while I had those same fears. I know it was an irrational fear, for the both of us to have but I couldn’t ever get the image of her crying over her parents out of my head.  Pleading with her father not to leave her.”

“Why do you think Helen and I never had any?” asked Crocker knowing exactly how Nathan felt.  “It was probably stupid of me but… I just couldn’t.” Nathan only nodded.

“Were you guys ever curious about her, to see if her life turned out okay?” asked Lucas.

“Yes and no.” said Nathan.

“What do you mean?”

“I wanted to know if she was all right but I don’t think I could handle it if she wasn’t.” said Nathan as Crocker nodded.

“Thank you sir.” Said Miguel.  “For sharing that with me, it makes me feel better, made me realize that I didn’t really have a choice.”

Nathan nodded.

Two Weeks Later

 
Nathan and Ford were working on mission logs in the wardroom when a call came over the comm.  “Captain you have a call from a Commander Jeffrey Dalton from British Intelligence. He wishes to speak with you immediately.” Said Tim O'Neill.

Nathan arched his eyebrows as he shrugged his shoulders at Ford’s questioning look.  “Put it on the vidscreen in here, lieutenant.”

The image of young man with brown hair and blue eyes appeared on the screen.  “Hello Captain Bridger, I’m Commander Jeffrey Dalton.  I’m calling in regards to one of your crew members, Dr. Kristin Westphalen.  We have reason to believe she may be in danger.”

Nathan’s attention was caught immediately at the mention of his CMO.  “Why?”

“Someone has hacked into our data files concerning Dr. Westphalen. Actually if possible I would like to speak with her about this as well.” Said Dalton.

“Of course Mr. Dalton, I’d also like to call in my security chief.” Nathan had Ford call Crocker and Westphalen to the wardroom.

Crocker walked in moments later and Ford filled him in on the situation. A few minutes later Kristin Westphalen entered.  Nathan smiled inwardly as she appeared. She was wearing her white uniform; she must be working in medbay today. Her hair was pulled away from her face and a small smile played across her lips as her eyes lighted upon her captain.

“Good morning doctor. Sorry to call you here but this is Commander Dalton from British Intelligence.” Nathan indicated the man on the screen.

Kristin turned to the man on the screen a bigger smile on her lips.  “Hello Jeffrey.  What are you calling about today?” the man on the screen chuckled.

“Hello Kristin. It is good to see you too.”

“You two know each other?” asked Ford.

“I’m afraid we do Commander.” Said Dalton.  “The doctor’s file gets hacked into quite often.”

“Three times in the past year.” Said Kristin. The three men in the wardroom looked at the doctor then back at the Dalton.

“Three times?” asked Crocker.

“Why haven’t we been notified before this time?” asked Nathan.

“Yes, Jeffrey why are you involving them?” asked Kristin her brow furrowed as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Dalton averted his eyes for a moment then returned his gaze back to Kristin.  “It didn’t start in your file Kristin.”

“What do you mean?” asked Kristin quietly.

“The hacker started out in the Diego Garcia file.” The man spoke softly.

Kristin paled considerable as she sank down into a chair. Her hand was shaking as she brought it up against her lips.

“Kristin? Kristin are you alright?” asked Nathan quietly. Kristin seemed not to hear him as she returned her attention to Dalton.

She cleared her throat and regained most of her composure.  “What were they looking for?” her voice seemed to hold only a slight tremor.

“It’s very strange Kristin.” Dalton started.  “Whoever hacked in started out with Diego Garcia then went to your father’s file and then went to you. It was if they were looking for you.”

“Do you mind telling us what this is all about?” asked Ford.

Kristin looked down at her hands.  Her face paled again and Nathan could tell she was growing extremely uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry but the information is classified.” Said Dalton and Nathan noticed Kristin relax a bit.

“With all due respect Mr. Dalton, if we are to protect Dr. Westphalen, we need to know what we are dealing with.” Said Nathan.  He hated making Kristin uncomfortable but he had to know what he was protecting her from.

“I’ll tell them, Jeffrey.” Said Kristin quietly. Dalton nodded he knew Kristin would use the utmost discretion when telling the captain what needed to be told.

“I’ll call later when we find out more about this hacker. Hopefully we can find out who is behind this and why.” Dalton turned to Kristin.  “I’m sorry Kristin.  Take care of yourself.”

Kristin nodded, “Thank you Jeffrey.” Dalton said his good-byes to the others and cut the connection.

The men were quiet for a moment each seeing that the doctor need some time to gather courage. Finally Kristin took a deep breath and started,  “um, I’m not sure what I can tell you.  My father was a diplomat and he was working in India.  On his last mission he and my mother were attacked and killed.”

“I’m sorry.”  Said Nathan. Kristin looked up at him.  The pain he saw in her eyes almost made him shudder.

“It happened a long time ago.” She said quietly.

“So why would they start out in a file that seemed completely unrelated to you?” asked Ford.

“Who ever attacked the entourage didn’t do it very successfully.  From what I heard all in the raiding party were killed.  The British government still has no idea who they were attacked by.  They’ve had their suspicions but they were never sure.”

“So we may be looking at someone who wants revenge over fallen comrades.” Said Crocker.

Kristin leaned back in her chair closing her eyes as the men continued to converse about her situation.  Maybe if she such her eyes really tight this would all go away. A thought dawned on her, if they had hacked her entire file then they probably knew about her daughter. Kristin bolted upright in her chair at the thought.  “Cynthia!” the men turned to look at the doctor.  “What if they go after Cynthia? Nathan you can’t let them hurt my daughter.” The panic in her eyes screamed out at the captain.

“Commander get hold of the UEO and inform them of the situation.  Have them find Dr. Westphalen’s daughter and put her into protective custody.”

“Aye sir.” Said Ford and he left for the bridge to make the call along with Crocker to tighten security since crew rotations were to take place in a couple weeks.  Kristin relaxed but her mind was still racing with fear at the thought of anyone harming her daughter. “Excuse me, I need to get back to medbay.” Before Nathan had a chance to react Kristin bolted from the room.

Nathan knocked on the door of Kristin’s cabin.  He wanted to make sure she was alright since he hadn't seen her since that morning and to assure her that Cynthia was safe having been taken into protective custody about an hour ago.

The door opened to reveal Kristin dressed in jeans and a t-shirt.  She looked more relaxed than the last time he had seen her.  She even gave him a small smile but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.  “Hello, Nathan.” She said as she stepped aside allowing him to enter.

“Hi. I just wanted to make sure you were all right. Cynthia is safe.  She’s with her father and has been assigned a security detail until this is over.”

“Thank you.” She said as she sat down on her bunk.  “She was conceived just after my parents died.  I guess she filled a void. And the thought of losing her the same way…” Kristin was in tears and Nathan sat down beside her pulling her into his embrace.

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure she’s safe, even if I have to bring her aboard the Seaquest.”

“Thank you.” She said quietly against his chest.  Nathan closed his eyes as he felt her warm breath though his khaki uniform shirt. He inhaled deeply as she placed her hand on his chest pushing away slightly so she could look up at him.

He opened his eyes to find her dark eyes staring into his. He brought his hand up to her cheek caressing away a tear that had fallen. Nathan brushed his thumb over her lips as he slowly brought his head down.  He brushed his lips over hers.

The kiss was tentative, searching.  He pulled back slightly from her and she whispered his name.  He kissed her again, it beginning softly but quickly escalating as Kristin brought her arms around his neck.

A jolt of electricity fired across Nathan’s body and he pulled away from her as quickly as possible.  “I’m sorry.” He said as he pulled away from the bunk not looking at the hurt that passed over her features.  “I should go.” He said and turned leaving her cabin as quickly as he could.

What he felt when he kissed her scared him more than he could explain. His mind was transported back to Maria.  He had felt that same thing when he had kissed her.  How could he be feeling the same thing with Kristin? Was it just because he had been thinking of Maria so much lately?  Nathan wanted Kristin but he was scared of how intense his feels were becoming.

A knock on the door brought Nathan out of his reading. “Come in.”  The door opened and Lucas walked in.  “Hello Lucas.  What can I do for you?” the boy said his hello and handed the captain a disc.  he thought Lucas looked rather uncomfortable.  “What’s this?” Nathan asked as he indicated the disc.

“It’s her.” Said Lucas said quietly.

“What do you mean it’s her?” asked Nathan as he slid off his bunk. His heart was pounding in his chest.

“It’s the girl. The one from the Seawolf.”

“I told you I didn’t want to know.” Nathan said angrily.

“She’s amazing.” He said quietly.

“I told you I didn’t want to know.” Nathan said quietly looking at the disc in his hand.

“She even has a daughter.”

Nathan sat back down on his bunk keeping his eyes on the disc in his hand  “tell me about her.”

Lucas sat down on the bunk next to his captain.  “She’s had a rough life but she’s strong.  Her half brother raised her but was killed about ten years ago.  She was married but is divorced.  She’s a doctor.”

Nathan’s emotions were on a roller coaster as Lucas described the young girl in Nathan’s mind.  Thinking of her being unhappy tore at his heart and the idea of her being married shook him more than he thought it would after all those years.  He had to smile though as he heard that she was a doctor just as her father had been.

“That disc explains everything. And if you look at it, I double-checked everything on it. Triple checked it to make sure she was the one.”

Nathan nodded his head absently and asked, “Is she happy?”

“I don’t know sir. You’ll have to ask her. Do you think you will at least look at the disc?”

“I don’t know.”

“Hello Mr. Dalton. Do you have more information on the hacker?” asked Nathan as the image of the British officer appeared on the screen in his cabin.

“Hello, captain. Yes we do have more information on this hacker. This is going to sound very strange captain but Kristin may not be in any danger.”

“What do you mean?” asked Nathan as he leaned forward in his chair.

“We are still unsure of who hacked in but he showed us how he hacked in and also showed us how to plug the holes.  He’s basically made the files he hacked into impenetrable. I’m beginning to wonder if this person knows Kristin and is trying to protect her.” Dalton took in a deep breath.  “I just don’t know captain.”

“The hacker has helped make the files safer?” asked Nathan not sure he heard right.

“Yes. This person is unbelievable though.  He has shown us things we never would have imagined.  It’s quite remarkable.”

Nathan thought for a moment. He began to wonder who would break into a file and then show the owners how to stop someone from hacking into it.  “Thank you Mr. Dalton. I’ll let Kristin know about this interesting development.”

As Nathan reached out to cut the link he caught site of the disc Lucas had handed him a few days ago.  His heart began to pound in his chest.  ‘No, it has to be a coincidence.’ He thought as he grabbed the disc and headed out of his quarters in search of Lucas.

He headed in the direction of Lucas’ quarters thinking of the words the boy had spoken to him when he had handed him the disc. ‘Triple checked it to make sure she was the one.’ Nathan also thought about the boy’s behavior towards Kristin since Lucas the past few days.  The boy was more helpful and complained less.  Even Kristin had remarked about it.

Nathan burst into the boy’s quarters without even a knock.  Lucas spun around in his chair switching off the computer game he had been playing as the door shut loudly behind his captain.  The older man paced in the cramped space not knowing what to say or how to say it as he clutched the disc in his hand.

Lucas looked on nervously as Bridger paced in front of him. He saw the disc in Nathan’s hand and knew why he was here.  “I told you I triple checked that it was her.”

Nathan stopped abruptly.  “How… how could it be her?”

“I don’t know. She seems so… happy. You wouldn’t guess her parents were kill right in front of her.”

Nathan sat down on Lucas’ bunk looking down at the disc in his hand.  “I haven’t looked at this.”

“I can tell you about her.” Lucas offered. Nathan nodded.

“Her name was Kristin Maria Bennet. She was born to Robert and Cynthia Bennet. He was a doctor but turned to diplomacy soon after Kristin was born. He traveled extensively usually accompanied by his family.   After her parents were killed she went to live with her half brother James Westphalen.  She changed her name, guess she needed to feel the connection of family.”

“That’s enough.” Said Nathan quietly.  He wanted Kristin to tell him about who she was.

“She is pretty amazing sir.”

“Yes, she is.”

 

“What is it Nathan?” asked Kristin as she opened the door to her captain. She really didn’t want to speak to him, not yet.

“I just needed to see you.”  He said quietly. Kristin looked at him.  He looked exhausted and somewhat unsure of himself as he stood in the hallway.  He also looked sad.

Kristin relented and stepped aside allowing him to enter her cabin. She didn’t have the heart to turn him away.  She turned and sat down at her desk but Nathan just shut the door and leaned his back against it sliding down until he was sitting on the floor.

“Nathan, are you alright?” the concern she felt was evident in her voice.

“No.” said Nathan shaking his head slowly as he closed his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” she asked softly.

For a moment Nathan was just silent as he stared at the opposite wall.  Kristin was unsure of whether he was going to speak or not but in a moment he started.  “When I was twenty-eight years old I cheated on my wife.”  Kristin was taken aback by the admission.  She had never expected him to say that, not in a million years. Why was he telling her that some thirty years ago he
cheated on his wife?

“It was only once.  Only once in over thirty years of marriage and it was only one night.” he looked over at her to gauge her reaction. He knew her husband cheated on her numerous times. She wasn’t looking at him her gaze on her hands in her lap. Nathan returned his gaze to the wall.  “I loved my wife very much,” he said forcefully, “but Maria was… part of my soul. When I was with her I felt whole and I felt like a part of me died when I had to let her go.”

“I never told Carol.  Not because I didn’t want to, I wanted to tell her, but because Maria was part of a mission we were on. Everything and everyone about the mission was classified and remains that way to this day. My duty to my country outweighed my duty to my wife.”

“Are you disgusted with me yet?” he asked as he turned to look at her.

Kristin couldn’t bring herself to look at him.  She didn’t know what to feel.  Being betrayed by her husband had hurt her a great deal, she was sure she had yet to recover fully from it.  And now a man she trusted more than she had ever trusted anyone before was sitting in her cabin confessing his indiscretion to her.

“No, well then what if I told you she was probably only sixteen years old.” Kristin’s head shot up but Nathan wasn’t sure what he saw in her eyes, it wasn’t disgust though. He returned his gaze to the wall again but Kristin continued to stare at him.

“She seemed so much older than I was though.  Her eyes, they held so much pain. One look in her eyes and you knew she had more at experience at life and death than any person I had yet met.

I didn’t initiate it.  She kissed first but I wanted her too.  I wanted to kiss her so badly and once I kissed her I wanted to make love to her.  And she let me, she let me make love to her and then she was gone. And I had to go home to my wife and son and I didn’t want to.

I was depressed for months because I didn’t have her with me.  For almost a year every time I kissed my wife I wanted to be kissing her, every time I made love to my wife I would close my eyes and want it to be her. I had never cheated on Carol before or since. I loved my wife very much but there was something about this girl I couldn’t ignore it.”

“Why are you telling me this Nathan?” Kristin said not wanting to hear anymore.

He tossed the disc he held in his hand to her, which she caught.  Curiously she placed the disc in her computer. Her eyes grew wide in disbelief as the information played on her screen. Minutes passed as the disc played, the images displayed and the voice of the narrator filled the cabin.  She allowed it to play for a few moments until it stated that her name had been changed. She
slammed her hand down on the desk as she stood up.

“How dare you! What right do you have to do this?” she waved the disc angrily at him.  She was angry and hurt that he would invade her privacy like that.

“Lucas hacked into your files at British Intelligence for me.” He said quietly.  It was the truth even if Nathan hadn't told the boy to do it; Lucas still did it for him.

“So Lucas knows about this too?” she already figured out Lucas was involved, no one else would have been able to get the information on the disc.  She stormed over to him and shoved the disc into his hand as he stood.  “Get out.” She yelled. She tried to open the door but he remained rooted to the spot he had been in the entire time, leaning against the door.

“Let me explain.” He said quietly.

“Explain?! Explain what? That you decided I needed a more thorough background check.  Now get out.” She was on the verge of tears.

“No, not until I explain this to you.” He grabbed her arms.

“Let go of me.”

“No, Lucas wasn’t looking for you.” His voice was loud hoping to get through her anger.  “He was looking for her.  A girl named Maria who I took off a boat in the Indian Ocean when I was a lieutenant commander.” By now Kristin had stopped moving.  Nathan wasn’t even sure she was still breathing.  Her face was pale and he was sure if he let go of her now she would collapse to the floor.

“We rescued Maria in the Indian Ocean.  A British delegation was attacked by a band of terrorists.  By the time we arrived most were dead.  Crocker and I found the ambassador and his daughter still alive but he was soon shot and killed.  She was the only survivor.  She was on the Seawolf, the submarine I was on, for four days before she was taken away by the British military.  I never knew what happened to her until now.”

Nathan pushed himself off the door as he let go of her.  Tears were streaming down her cheeks and she was shaking her head as if not believing what he was saying.  “Kristin?” he asked gently talking a step towards her as she backed away from him.

“No.” she said as she backed away from him.

“Talk to me Kristin.”

“No.” she said again and pushed past him pulling open the door and running from the room.  Nathan ran after her following her as she ran through the hall. As she rounded a corner she ran right into Chief Crocker.

“Whoa, doc where’s the fire?” he said as he caught her by the arms as she ran into him.  Kristin just stared into his face trying desperately to find some clue that Nathan was telling her the truth.  “Doc are you all right?” the chief asked as Kristin just stared at him with what looked like fear and disbelief in her eyes.

“Kristin.” She tried pulled away from the security chief as Nathan drew near.  “Don’t let her go Gator.” called Nathan as he ran up to them.

“No.” cried Kristin as Crocker tightened his grip and she began struggling more. “Let me go.” She cried.

Nathan grabbed her covering her mouth with his hand to quiet her.  “I’ll explain later chief lets just get her to my cabin.” Crocker nodded and led the small distance to his captain’s cabin.  Nathan struggled to keep his hold on Kristin as well as his hand over her mouth to keep her from drawing more attention.

Once inside the cabin Nathan turned to Crocker “Thanks Gator. I’ll fill you in later.”

“Aye sir.” Said Crocker as he shut the door on his way out.

As they had entered Nathan’s cabin Kristin had stopped struggling but Nathan had still held her to him.  Now he released his grip on her.  She pushed away from him walking over to the porthole not looking him.

“Do you believe me?” he asked quietly stepping closer to her.

‘Carol and Robert’ she had never put the two together before.  ‘Nathan, Carol and his son Robert.’

She turned to him her cheeks wet with tears.  “What did you tell me before I kissed you that night?”

“I told you, you didn’t have to be strong, not for me.” He said hoping she would believe it was him.

She sat down on his bunk pulling her knees to her chest leaning against the wall.  Nathan cautiously sat down next to her on the bunk being careful not to touch her.  “I never put it together.  Nathan, Carol and your son, Robert.” She said quietly.  Tears started to fall once again as she thought of it all.

Nathan put his arms around her pulling her close against her chest.  “It’s okay. Sh. It’s okay.” He said repeating the words he said to her all those years ago. After she had quieted he lifted her face to look into her eyes.  He wiped the tears off her cheek brushing his thumb over her lips.  It was as if they were transported back a lifetime ago.  His lips descended on hers kissing her with reawakened passion.

Kristin pulled away from him looking in his eyes.  “Did you mean all those things you said in my cabin?”

“Yes.” his eyes told her spoke the truth along with so much else he couldn’t voice.

“There’s something I have to tell you.” She said quietly.

The look in her eyes made Nathan tense a small amount but he didn’t let her go.  “What?”

“Cynthia…”

“Your daughter?” Nathan asked.

“Your daughter.” She said quietly.
 
 

The end.