Author: Nancy
Disclaimer: JAG and characters do not belong to me. I don't make any
money from this.
Classification: PG- 13
Category: Harm/Mac Drama/Humor
Summary: Harm has the opportunity to trade places in more ways than
one.
PART 2
The plan was for Mac to arrive several days earlier than Harm and begin her investigation. Harm would then arrive as Captain Joel 'Joey' Nelson. He would be the officer over stores and acquisitions. Scuttlebutt was in place that Captain Nelson ties to none other than the Secretary of the Navy Alexander Nelson. Of course, he came from the tall side of the family. Harm was to play the ultimate fowl-up that had received promotions due to his connections.
Mac watched from a distance as the Government Issue car drove up to the administrative building. Gunny Galindez stood by and watched the performance that would forever bring a smile to his serious Galindez demeanor.
The Marine private quickly approached the passenger side of the vehicle and opened the door. Harm or Captain Joey Nelson carefully exited the car balancing precariously on his crutches. He then turned to reach for his briefcase about the same time the private was reaching for it. The two collided sending the private on his six in a muddy flowerbed.
"Oh, so sorry Private." Harm pushed his extra thick glasses up on his nose and adjusted his cover then offered his hand to help pull the private up.
"That's alright Sir. I think one of us in the flowerbed is enough for now." The private stood looking at his pants in disgust. A small crowd of Marines began to gather on the sidelines to watch.
"Could you get my briefcase for me." Harm smiled and moved forward as the private reached for the case. His crutch effectively tripped the private again sending him face down this time into the flowerbed. "You must really watch that mud Private. It is slippery. You don't want to end up like me." Harm grinned and lifted one of his crutches.
The private now coated with mud on both sides responded with restraint. "No sir, I definitely do not want to end up like you Sir!" The underlying message loud and clear bringing chuckles to Mac and Gunny. Harm in the meantime preceded into the building as if totally unaware of the daggers being shot at him by the muddy private. The crowd of onlookers shook their heads in laughter as the muddy private followed the officer up the steps.
"Captain Klutz has arrived." Gunny smirked.
"I believe the Navy has a secret weapon." Mac rolled her eyes towards her fellow Marine. Becoming serious she questioned the former JAG staff member, "Gunny have you heard any scuttlebutt about why those officers were attacked?"
"Lt. Goodnight and Lt. Peavy were major foul-ups Ma'am. They apparently attended OCS right after college. Some how they made it through, but most of the men say that they were sort of wimpy and didn't exactly fit in."
"What do you mean?"
"Lt. Goodnight cried in front of the men when he fell on the obstacle course. All he did was take some hide off his knees and hands Ma'am. He didn't even break anything. Lt. Peavy drinks his coffee with his pinkie extended like so if you get my drift, Ma'am." Gunny demonstrated bringing a chuckle from Mac.
"But that behavior doesn't deserve to be treated with a blanket party." Mac became more sober.
"I didn't say it did Ma'am. I do think that maybe they made the wrong career choice." Gunny added.
"But there were others. I went through the files and found that six other officers and four enlisted men left the service after experiencing various 'accidents'. Gunny that is why there are fitness reports. Officers and enlisted personnel must meet certain standards or they will be reverted or discharged. Lt. Peavy ended up in the infirmary. This vigilante justice reeks of neo Nazism!" Mac ranted.
"You're worried about the Commander, Ma'am." Gunny translated her emotional response into five words.
Mac looked up at him with raised eyebrows; "You cut through the crap don't you Gunny."
"Yes Ma'am. And Ma'am, I'll do whatever I have to do to help keep the Commander safe, but after that performance a few minutes ago, I think that Camp LeJeune may need to go on full alert."
"You may be right Gunny...you may be right."
Harm a.k.a. Captain Nelson stood at attention as well as possible on crutches before Colonel Hiram Rester. The 'from the ranks' officer perused Nelson's personnel folder not bothering to hide the scowl on his face. He had had his fill of prissy college boys who like to play soldier. "You don't have much experience with supply and stores Captain."
"No Sir, but I think I will enjoy the experience." Harm grinned at the older officer who if anything scowled even more.
"We are not here to enjoy the experience Captain, but to do a job. Right now with the 'activities' in the Middle East and Afghanistan we need to have our people prepared and that means having the supplies that we need when we need them!" The bird colonel barked.
Harm appeared unfazed, "Yes Sir. I'll do my best."
The Colonel only grunted and then asked, "By the way, Captain, what happened to you leg."
"I wasn't watching were I was going, slipped on some ice and broke the ankle." Harm frowned thoughtfully and added. "Last year I damned near killed myself when I had a confrontation with some cold water. I have had problems with the cold climate, that's why I requested someplace warmer." Harm did not exactly lie to the officer who shook his head in distaste towards the officer in front of him.
"Humph." The Colonel responded and dismissed Captain Nelson to his administrative assistant Corporal Pyle.
Pyle waited outside the Colonel's office to escort the new Captain to his office. He was short with a buzz hair cut and wore butt ugly glasses, but he was anxious to please his new commanding officer. "Welcome to Lejeune Sir! I have organized all the supply reports for you and have your computer password and code list ready."
"Thank you Corporal Pyle. You like working with computers don't you Corporal?" Harm observed clearly impressed by the young man's attention to detail and his understanding of the computer system.
"Yes Sir!" Pyle grinned sheepishly.
"I think we will get along just fine Corporal." Harm smiled. "I am not that good with computers."
"You can count on me Sir!"
"You are not by chance related to Gomer?" Harm asked as they entered the administrative bullpen.
The young Marine responded thoughtfully, "Nooo Sir, but I can ask my father."
"That's okay, I was just making a joke. What made you choose the Marines?" Harm quizzed the atypical Marine.
"I always liked the commercials on TV. 'The few, the proud, the Marines." He said with a dramatic touch. "If I may be so bold to ask sir, why did you choose the Marines Sir?"
"I couldn't be in the Navy so I settled for second best and became a Marine." Harm replied loudly with a smirk. The bullpen became instantaneously silent with cold angry looks directed at the tall Marine officer. "Just kidding."
"Right Sir." Corporal Pyle replied nervously.
"It must be lunch time. I'm hungry where's the mess hall? Do they have a vegetarian menu?" Harm chattered on as he hobbled through the administrative office area attracting more curious expressions. "I think I'm going to reduce the orders for meat. Americans eat entirely too much meat. Tofu, that's what we need more of tofu. Don't you agree Corporal?"
"That's our new supply officer." A Marine Sergeant commented to one of the Captains standing near the water fountain. "I hear he got the position over Lt. Collins."
"Yea, scuttlebutt says Captain Nelson is the same Nelson as the Secretary of the Navy. He's a real screw up that has been passed around because no one wants to kick his ass out of the Marines." The Captain' southern accent dripped with disdain.
"We'll see."
"There's a Marine JAG officer on base. We need to watch ourselves."
"I've met her, and from what I've heard, she is one hundred percent Marine. I think she would understand, but yea, we'll be careful."
"The guy's a klutz. It won't be hard to help him realize the Marines may be hazardous to his health since he's so health conscious an all." The two snickered.
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