Author: Nancy
Disclaimer: Don't own JAG or characters
Classification: Harm, Mac in there along with the others
PG
Summary: More of a family piece. Harm
finds himself in a new role as a surrogate parent for two young
children. Does have a Christmas twist at the end.
"To Make You Feel My Love" written by Bob Dylan.
Thanks to Carolyn for beta reading.
PART 4
Harm had drifted to sleep when Gabe entered the room first followed by the Admiral and Mac, who held a now awake Anna.
"Harm?" Mac knew he needed to speak with the kids before she took them home. The laceration on his head now had a bandage covering it. She frowned as she saw his pale face and dark circles under his eyes. She had noticed he seemed tired at work lately.
The Admiral spoke a little louder, "Harm." Harm's eyes slowly opened and he took a few seconds to focus and then smiled drowsily, "Hey, guys."
Gabe climbed on the bed before the Admiral could stop him. Harm shook his head to say that it was okay. Gabe held Harm in a tight hug and began to cry, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it." Harm frowned slightly and placed his arms around the sobbing child, "It's okay." He spoke soothingly.
"I thought..." His voice quivered, "You had an accident..."
"Like your Mom and Dad? I'm all right. I just have a little headache, and the doctor wants me to stay here tonight to give me some medicine for it." Harm stroked his back.
Gabe held him, "I'm sorry I broke the glass and made Anna cry." Gabe's crying had stopped.
"I'm sorry I fell off the ladder and scared you." Harm continued to stroke his back.
Anna began to try to twist out of Mac's arms and lean towards Harm, "Da Da." Mac and the Admiral exchanged a look of mild surprise and amusement.
Mac eased Anna on the bed so Harm could hold her. He kissed her on the forehead as she snuggled next to him and put her thumb in her mouth contentedly.
Harm, beginning to nod groggily, said to Gabe, "I heard you called 911 and Mac. That was a very brave thing you did."
Gabe sat up and looked at Harm who was fighting sleep. "Good thing...you were there." Harm said softly as he drifted to sleep.
"Come on Gabe, let's let Harm get some sleep." Mac whispered and eased Gabe off the bed. The Admiral carefully lifted Anna, who was sleeping soundly, and placed her head on his shoulder, and the group quietly slipped out of the room.
*****
Nov 24
"The doctor said rest and quiet for the next week! You know you should have stayed. I don't think your doctor was happy about you leaving today. Especially when he found out you are a single parent." Mac admonished as she drove Harm to his apartment.
"I'm not a single parent."
"Well, what would you call yourself?"
"I'm a legal guardian. Besides, I need to get home. I can lie around there as easily as I could at the hospital."
"Okay Mr. Rabb, but if you even look like you are going to do something you shouldn't, I will personally march your six back to that hospital and stand guard over you!" Mac ordered without cracking a smile. 'Stubborn Squid, doesn't know when to ask for help.'
"Mac, I really do appreciate you, the Admiral, Bud and Harriet for stepping in. Gabe has had such a difficult time dealing with the loss, and Anna cries a lot." Harm paused, realizing he was sharing more than he wanted. "I just need to let them know that I'm not..."
"Going to die too." Mac continued, "Last night when I got Anna and Gabe ready for bed, Gabe was insistent that we follow the routine you guys have established." Mac smiled as she began to recall for Harm the last night, "After we brushed our teeth, we then crawled into your bed where Gabe read to Anna and I. He's reading really well." Mac smiled at Harm who nodded in agreement. "Then we said our prayers." Mac's tone became more serious as she paused before continuing, "Gabe asked God to let you get well...and to please not take you to heaven too." Mac's voice cracked with the last statement.
Harm frowned, "I should have been more careful."
"Harm, it was an accident."
"Their parents died in an accident...What if one of them had gotten hurt."
"They didn't." Mac reached over and squeezed his hand.
When they arrived at Harm's apartment, Harriet had Anna in a high chair and Gabe and little AJ sitting at bar stools making cookies.
"We're making you a surprise." Gabe shouted excitedly.
Harm tried not to wince in pain as Mac shot him a threatening look.
"You look busy." Harm eased down onto the sofa.
"They have been perfect angels." Harriet smiled and gave each child a cookie cutter. "We're starting the season early and making Christmas cookies."
"My favorite." Mac smacked her lips and kissed the sugar coated children at the table.
"Guess what!" Gabe again decided to shout with enthusiasm, as Harm's rubbed his head automatically to ease the pain.
Mac leaned over to Gabe, "Harm's head is still a little sore, so maybe we should talk a little softer."
Gabe began to whisper, "Felicity isn't calling me names anymore."
"How did you get her to stop." Harm was truly interested.
"Well, she started to call me you know what, but I kissed her first." Gabe grinned at his success.
"You kissed her!" Harm started to laugh as Mac and Harriet joined in.
"The only problem is now she likes me." Gabe made a yucky face.
*****
Dec 1
"Good to see you back, Sir." Gunny stopped by Harm's office.
"Thanks, Gunny. I guess next time I try to fly, I'll take an F-14." Harm grinned and returned to his file.
Mac stopped to appraise Harm. He didn't realize she had been standing there when he looked up. "What?"
"You do look better."
"Better than what?" Harm smiled, knowing she was about to Scolded him.
"Did you go back for your follow up?"
"Yes, I did."
She decided to not push it because he had been unusually cooperative with all of her demands that he stay in bed, rest and leave work at work. "Have you thought about what you are going to get the kids for Christmas. I mean have they made a list?"
Harm put the file down and looked at her strangely. "It's the first of December."
"Harm, you obviously haven't shopped for toys. All the best toys will be sold out before the week is out, if they haven't already."
"I don't know what they want. I don't think Anna cares, as long as she has her blanket. Gabe likes to draw and loves that Tomcat his dad gave him. I wonder if he would like...?"
"Like what?" Mac leaned further into his office.
"Nope, I'm not telling. I don't think you can keep a secret." Harm taunted.
"Well, I'm going shopping tonight."
The phone rang, interrupting their banter.
"Commander Rabb."
"Commander Rabb, it's Jason Street. I have some great news. I have a couple interested in adopting the Matthews children."
"Oh." Harm replied, without enthusiasm.
"I thought you would be pleased."
"I'm sorry, I guess you just caught me off guard. Tell me about the couple."
"Alton and Mary Clark. He's an orthodontist. She doesn't work, but is involved in all kinds of charity work. They are unable to have children. They have a beautiful home in Brentwood. I checked references. He should run for public office, as many supporters as they have. She volunteers at the children's home. Harm, this couple is too good to be true. Best of all they are excited about both children!" Street bubbled over.
"They sound perfect." Harm responded softly.
"When can I set up a meeting. They want the children right away."
"Before Christmas?"
"Is there a problem? I though you were anxious to get the children settled." Street persisted.
"Yes, I am. I'll be free after 1600 today."
"I'll set it up and call you back."
Harm hung up the phone and stared blankly, in deep thought, when Mac broke his reverie. "Harm are you okay?"
"Yes, are you ready to go over the Friedman case?"
*********
"Commander Rabb will bring the children over Saturday morning. There is a waiting period before the adoption can be finalized. In the meantime I have found it best for the children and guardian not to see each other for three to four weeks, to allow the children time to adjust." Street closed his briefcase and looked at Harm and then the Clarks.
Harm had thoroughly interrogated the Clarks and found no obvious flaws. Their home was beautiful. The kids would each have a room. The backyard was large and fenced, and Alton was going to install a basketball goal for he and Gabe to play. Mary believed in home prepared meals that were balanced. Alton played golf with the headmaster of one of the area's best private elementary schools. Gabe and Anna, eventually, would have a guaranteed spot. So Saturday, Harm would take the children to their new parents and a new life.
****
Dec 8th
Harm had waited until Friday afternoon to tell Gabe the news.
"Gabe, you know I told you that your parents left instructions for me to make sure you and your sister were well cared for?"
Gabe looked at Harm intently.
"I believe your parents would want you and Anna to have a Dad and Mom and a nice home. Someone who would be there when you come home from school. What I'm trying to say is there is a very nice couple named Alton and Mary Clark who really want children but can't have them. They want you and Anna to live with them. I think this is what your parents would want."
"You don't want us?" Gabe looked hurt.
"I will still come and see you. We can go to the park. I'll take you flying. I just want to do what I think your parents would want." Harm felt his heart breaking as he saw the sad look in Gabe's eyes.
"When will we be leaving?"
"I'll take you and Anna to the Clark's tomorrow." Harm wanted to say 'no I've changed my mind', but instead he said, "How about we go to McDonald's for dinner tonight? We can start a new tradition, when I come to get you from the Clarks for a visit we'll go somewhere special?" Harm tried to sound upbeat.
"Can we stay home instead?" Gabe had that same solemn look when Harm first picked him up at Miramar.
"Okay, you can help me prepare dinner...mac and cheese?"
****
Dec 18th
"Ma'am, he's the first one here and the last to leave. He's cleaned out his files, helped Lt. Roberts write two briefs and volunteered to take Commander Mattoni's duty this weekend." Gunny reported to Mac.
"He won't admit it, but he really misses those kids." Mac hurt for her friend.
"We all do, ma'am." Gunny replied somewhat uncharacteristically.
Taking an extra cup of coffee, Mac strolled into Harm's office and sat down. "You know, you're making the rest of us look bad."
Harm looked up, confused. "Did you say something?"
"Harm, I know you're trying to stay busy so you won't miss Anna and Gabe. Why don't you go by the Clarks and see them." Mac suggested sympathetically.
Harm continued to sort through the papers on his desk, "I can't. Street said they would adjust better if I stayed away for three or four weeks."
"Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, you and the kids made a cute family."
"Mac, I have to give Gabe and Anna a chance to have a real family. A father who comes home every night by 1800. A stay home mom who bakes cookies and goes to their school programs and is there when they're sick. Something you and I didn't have the luxury of having." Harm sounded more like he was convincing himself.
"Harm, that sounds like a fairy tale. You know you love those kids and they love you." Mac confronted.
"Remember, I tend to act on my emotions. For once, I'm using reason." Harm stood and walked towards his window, wanting to end the conversation. "Besides, what does love have to do with anything." He added softly to himself.
Mac stood waiting for him to face her. When he didn't, she walked away.
*******
Dec 21
Harm stood on the upper deck of the Patrick Henry watching the F-14's take off into the night sky. He had spent the past two days investigating an incident between a galley chief and seaman. The seaman charged the chief with negligence following a galley fire. Anyone could have investigated this, but the Admiral hoped it would improve his depressed officer's mood.
"Wish you were with them?" The CAG leaned on the rail next to Harm as another Tomcat took off.
"No, not anymore." Harm said quietly.
"Found yourself some new magic?" The CAG studied the former aviator's expression.
"I guess I did, but I lost it." Harm replied thoughtfully.
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