Author: Nancy
Disclaimer: JAG and characters do not belong to me. This is purely
for entertainment purposes.
Classification: PG- 13
Category: Drama, Harm and Mac
Summary:
This is what I imagine will happen after Adrift part 1. Mac
has put her wedding on hold because of the news that Harm's plane
went down in the ocean. For those of you who have read 'Romancing
the Rock' you will recognize the four Coasties.
Thank you again Marianne for all of your talent in helping me archive my stories.
Part 1
Unknown time at night
Somewhere off the coast of Virginia
The dark angry waters pitched and rolled with whitecaps as the storm raged.
Another large wave pounded over him knocking him again against the buoy to which he had managed to attach himself. He resurfaced coughing and breathing heavily as the salt water stung his eyes and lungs with its repeated assault. The hours were slowly passing as Harm struggled to stay alert and conscious.
Although it was spring the night air and the ocean temperatures were sending shivers throughout his body. He thought to himself that he had never been so cold in his life. He also tried not to think of the situation he was in because of the feelings of hopelessness that rose with those thoughts.
His beacon was not functioning probably because of his not so smooth ejection from the disabled Tomcat. He only prayed that Skates had been located and was not lost. He laughed bitterly as he realized the irony of his situation. He had taken this risk to get back to a wedding that he wished would not take place. Was it fate that he didn't get back to see the woman he loved with all his heart marry another? He gasped sharply at the pain in his shoulder and chest as another wave slapped him against his lifeline the buoy.
He closed his eyes and lay back against the life vest that barely managed to keep his head above water. Again, he thought of the symbolism of his predicament. He was lost at sea...alone...barely keeping his head above water. The pain in his chest this time was not related to his injuries. His loneliness was of his own doing. She had asked him why he backed away. At the time his reasons seemed right...now, in the ocean ...in the dark storm...none of his reasons mattered anymore. How fitting that it should end like this, he thought. "Be happy Sarah." The words drowned by the loud thunder and pouring rain...
********
JAG Headquarters
Same time
Most of the wedding party gathered were they felt most in control. The Admiral had just hung up the phone from the latest update from the search and rescue operations of the Coast Guard. Bud looked hopefully for some sort of sign in the Admiral's face indicating good news, but after seeing the look of disappointment on his face he got up and walked out of the office without saying a word. Harriet jumped up unsure whether to stand at attention and wait to be dismissed or follow after her husband. The Admiral mumbled, "Go check on him Harriet," and then rubbed his forehead and let out a deep sigh. Hours had passed with no news.
The search and rescue teams where grounded due to the intensity of the storm. Harm was out there somewhere in this storm. Was he alive? If he was could he survive? AJ had had his share of lengthy time in the water shivering, but he had been dressed in a wet suit designed to protect him from the cold. He knew how hypothermia could disable a swimmer even in the summer because of the cooler water temperatures. Harm did not have the benefit of a wet suit. Damn, why did he have the need to keep flying? He is too good of a lawyer to take unnecessary risks. The Admiral smiled to himself as he realized that he missed the active duty of a Seal. He was not so different from his younger officer wanting to hang on to his skills whether it be as an active duty Seal or as the JAG.
Harriet caught up with Bud in his office. Bud was pulling up case files on his computer. "I need to finish this brief before the Commander returns. We are going to trial next week." Bud was struggling with his feelings of helplessness, the same sort of helplessness he felt months ago as he stood by and watched baby Sarah slip away from him. 'Damn life can be so unfair.'
Harriet reached over and touched her husband's chin so that he had to look up at her, "Bud? They will find him." Her shiny eyes met his. She knew her husband well enough to read the painful thoughts that he tried unsuccessfully to smother with activity. She swallowed deeply as the old pain became fresh again.
"He's been in the water for hours. First it was baby Sarah...now." He choked off the last words.
Harriet leaned over and hugged her husband glad that she could feel his warm arms around her. A brief thought of Bud being lost at sea sent shivers through her. 'Don't go there,' she thought as she looked up through the doorway and saw Mac sitting in his office expressionless and mute.
The Medium Endurance Class Cutter Reliance rocked as the storm continued to send waves and wind gusts of 40 knots into the Baltimore Naval Yard where it had been dry docked for the past two months for a major maintenance upgrade. The crew was notified to report and be prepared to deploy as soon as the storm calmed. The game of penny poker was the most exciting activity on board as the four petty officers entertained spectators with their cunning ability to cheat each other. The unspoken point of the game was not to win but to see who could manage to get around the rules of the game with the most creativity. So far VanHuysen was leading as evidenced by the cheers from the captive audience in the enlisted men's mess. He had managed to win the last hand with four aces. Torre was a close second. He distracted Blandino and swiped one of his cards giving him a straight. Denney tried to bluff everyone and bet his entire holdings of 32 cents on a hand that consisted of two fours, two fives and an Ace.
"Hey how did we end up with five aces in this deck?" Blandino pointed out. Torre chuckled as VanHuysen began to explain.
"Petty Officer Blandino, we are in Maryland. We are playing with a Maryland deck of cards. In Cajun country you probably play with a four ace deck, but since Maryland was one of the original colonies, some traditions never changed. Our founding fathers played poker with a five ace deck. It was on the History channel the other night." He spouted with authority while Torre rolled his eyes at Denney who looked back at Torre with a little confusion.
"I didn't know that," Denney replied with all seriousness in his Texas draw; bringing about a burst of laughter from the other crewmembers who sat on the outskirts of the table.
"You should start watching something educational instead of the Cartoon channel." VanHuysen replied.
The laughter continued until one of the officers came into the room and advised everyone that their orders had been changed. Lt. Commander Tim Keenan, the new XO spoke, "We are on standby to join search and rescue as soon as the weather lets up."
"What's up XO?" Torre inquired as everyone in the room became silent
"We received word that a Tomcat went down at sea somewhere off the coast of North Carolina around 2000. The Patrick Henry lost contact with the pilot around that time. " Keenan replied. He had been a helicopter pilot with the Coast Guard until last year when he changed his designator in order to progress up the ranks. Another reason for his change was that his wife had just had a baby, and Pilots are at a greater risk for fatal accidents than any other designator. "They found the RIO, but the weather was too bad to continue the search."
The room became quiet again as the crew pondered the seriousness of the situation and lifted unspoken prayers for the pilot.
"Did they say who the pilot was?" Denney broke the silence.
Keenan raised his eyebrows, "Actually the pilot was just finishing his quals to maintain his pilot status. He's a JAG officer."
"Oh my God, it's not Commander Rabb?" Blandino responded and looked at his three friends.
"Yes, do you know him Blandino?" Keenan asked.
"We all do Sir." Torre answered, "He and Colonel MacKenzie saved our butts in Columbia."
"I remember the Captain told me about that. Something about emeralds." Keenan frowned.
"Sir can't we leave now. I mean if he's out in this weather what are his chances of surviving?" Denney said.
"Even if we deployed in this weather, the Dolphin couldn't take off and visibility is next to nothing. We are going to have to wait it out." Keenan explained and observed his men's frustration.
"Then all that Semper Paratus is just a bunch of bull. So here is the Coast Guard marching song, we sing on land or sea. Through surf and storm and howling gale, high shall our purpose be, Semper Paratus is our guide, our fame, our glory, too, to fight to save or fight and die! Aye! Coast Guard, we are for you." VanHuysen spit out.
"With all due respect Sir, I didn't join the Coast Guard just to replace light bulbs and chase drug dealers back to Columbia. One of the main reason's for the existence of the Coast Guard is search and rescue?" Torre added carefully with his blue eyes flashing with anger.
"If the Commander were some sort of stupid fisherman who was out in a storm to make money, like in 'The Perfect Storm' I guess we would go after him. But he's one of us. He is expected to put his life on the line for his country, but his country is going to let his down?" Blandino joined in with his Cajun accent adding to the emotion of his words.
"Stand down Petty Officers! Every man and woman on this cutter realizes what waiting means. Like you pointed out...,he is one of us! " Keenan replied.
"Sorry Sir." Torre sank back into his chair and avoided eye contact with the XO.
"Denney, Blandino, VanHuysen, Torre follow me to the officer's ward room." Keenan ordered.
*********
The Captain and XO motioned the four petty officers to join them at the table.
"I understand that you boys have a personal interest in the downed pilot's well being," Captain Tucker opened, "I will let you know of any updates. I have just placed a call into to JAG headquarters. I thought you would like to be part of this." The Captain added in an almost fatherly tone.
The eyes of the four coasties brightened up, "Thank you Sir!"
"I didn't join the Coast Guard to just change light bulbs either, Torre." The Captain added with a smile. Like Torre the Captain started out as an electrician's mate and worked his way up the ranks.
********
"Sir there is a Coast Guard Captain Tucker on line two." Tiner said breaking the Admiral's reverie.
"Admiral Chegwidden here. Do you have any news Captain?"
"No Sir, I'm calling more as a personal favor. I have four petty officers that your Commander Rabb helped rescue in Columbia earlier this year who are concerned about his welfare and wanted any information you may have."
The Admiral's eyebrows furrowed as he recalled that he had sent Mac down to investigate a smuggling ring in Columbia involving four Coasties. He smiled as he remembered that he sent Harm down to find her and the four Coasties when they disappeared. "Torre, Denney, Blandino and VanHuysen right?"
"Yes Sir, I have them on speaker." The Captain smiled impressed that a high ranking officer in the Navy would recall his men.
"Let me get Colonel MacKenzie in here. I know that she would appreciate hearing from your guys."
"Tiner, get the Colonel and Lt. Roberts."
"Any news?" A wide-eyed Colonel moved quickly into the office with Bud at her heals.
"No, but there are some young men that need to talk with you. Captain we are all here." The Admiral spoke.
"Colonel MacKenzie?" The voice on the speaker immediately brought recognition.
"VanHuysen?" Mac smiled.
"Yes Ma'am, Torre, Denney and Blandino are here too." VanHuysen responded.
"We wanted to know if you had heard anything. We are stuck in port in Baltimore. As soon as the storm lets up, we are going to look for the Commander."
Mac smiled through new tears that threatened, "We are like you just waiting for the damn storm to let up!'
"Ma'am, you know how resourceful the Commander is. Remember he helped us rebuild that plane and flew us out." Denney offered after hearing the emotion in the voice on the speakerphone.
"I don't think he will be able to rebuild a crashed Tomcat in the ocean." Mac's voice cracked.
"Yes Ma'am, but he knows how to survive. Both of you do. Remember the waterfall. We would not have made it out of Columbia without the two of you." Torre added softly.
"He was trying to get back in time for my wedding." Mac replied in a monotone voice.
"Ya'll were suppose to get married!" Blandino blurted out.
Mac smiled, "No Blandino, remember Mic the man who met us at your boat? "
"Oh." The disappointment was more than obvious. Bud exchanged an amused look with the Admiral.
"I appreciate you guys for calling, I promise we will let you know as soon as we hear anything." Mac said.
"We promise we will find him for you. It's our job." Torre added with conviction.
"Don't make promises you can't keep." Mac added sadly.
"We don't make promises we don't intend to keep." VanHuysen added.
"That's right Colonel, let us worry about that." The Captain of the Reliance added before ending the call.
"That's what Harm said when he said he would make it back in time for my wedding." Mac murmured under her breath, but loud enough that the Admiral and Bud heard.
"Harm's been in tight spots before." The Admiral reassured.
'But he wouldn't be in this situation if it wouldn't have been for me. ' Mac thought sorrowfully.
His teeth chattered uncontrollably as the time in the cold water was beginning to take its toll. 'Stay awake Rabb remember your survival training.' He thought as he tried to bring his legs up into a tight ball close his chest to conserve heat, but exhaustion was winning.
Another large wave jarred him back to alertness. "Get your mind on something other than this cold water." He began to mumble words to a James Taylor song that began to play in his head...
"Just yesterday morning they let me know you were gone...."
"I've seen fire and rain, I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end."
"I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend..."
Another wave slammed him causing a coughing spell as the water tried again to overtake him.
"But I always thought that I'd see you again."
Visions of Mac in her wedding gown fleeted across his mind's eye. Again the urge to sleep began to pull at his body.
"Won't you look down upon me Jesus, You got to help me make a stand." He forced himself to concentrate.
"You got to see me through another day, my body's aching and my time is at hand."
"I won't make it any other way." His shivering began to subside and his legs and arms began to feel numb.
"Been walking my mind to an easy time, my back turned to the sun."
"Lord knows when the cold wind blows, when hours of time on the telephone line to talk about things to come."
"Sweet dreams and fine machines in pieces on the ground." His words slurred, as he could no longer fight the overwhelming sleepiness.
"Sarah, I thought I'd see you one more time again...." Lightning crackled followed by another booming sound of thunder, but this time a little further to the west.
*********
"Let's rock and roll." The Captain announced to the crew of the Reliance. "This boat can handle a few gales, we have a job to do."
A cheer was heard through out the cutter as the crew busied themselves preparing to deploy. Somewhere a CD player was turned on.... "Get your motor running...Head out on the highway...lookin for adventures in whatever comes our way...like a true nature's child...we were born to be wild."
***********
The Admiral stood at the office door where Mac sat looking out the window at the lightning and rain. Mic sat across from her and essentially was invisible. "Mac."
Both turned to face the Admiral. The Admiral had never seen fear in her eyes until now. "I just got word that the search and rescue efforts have been resumed." His eyes shifted to Mic whose expression of helplessness brought feelings of sympathy for the couple. This was supposed to be one of the happiest days of their lives.
Mac just nodded and withdrew into her own thoughts. "I'm going to get us some coffee Sarah." Mic broke the silence and got up out of the chair. He paused and looked at Mac sadly. They were sitting in Harm's office. She was no longer crying, but instead held on to a jacket of Harm's that had been left hanging on a hook. He received no response, which did not really surprise him. He tried to understand her actions, but the only thought that resurfaced repeatedly was that she was in love with Harm. If their positions were reversed would she be this distraught if he were missing in the ocean. His mind registered a cruel reality, 'No because she would have Harm to comfort her.'
"Mic, did you say something?" Bud joined him in the coffee room.
Mic jerked up; "No... any word yet?"
"Just that search and rescue has been reactivated." Bud said wearily and sighed deeply as he stirred his coffee. "This all seems like a bad dream."
"Yes it is." Mic mumbled in agreement.
"How is the Colonel?" Bud studied the man's dishearten face.
"Bud, be honest with me." Mic began which brought a frown to the younger man's face.
"Do you think Sarah loves him?" Mic looked intently at Bud who hesitated long enough to answer the question without words.
"I thought so, I think I've always known it, but just refused to acknowledge the fact." Mic gave a half smile and started to walk out.
"Mic, I think no one really understands the relationship between the Commander and the Colonel." Bud wanted to say something to make the man feel better, but at the moment no words came to his mind.
The HH-65A Dolphin helicopter's twin engines powered the aircraft across the still turbulent ocean. The winds had calmed enough that the pilot Lt. Commander Tim Keenan was able to maintain control while watchful eyes searched the ocean for signs of Commander Harmon Rabb's strobe light. The young XO had volunteered to fly reasoning that he had more experience flying in tough weather conditions than the current pilot. He really missed flying and the challenge of over- coming the obstacles to beat the sea and weather from claiming another soul.
"I see a raft!" The copilot pointed southeast. Keenan quickly directed the craft in the direction of the raft and circled it.
"It's empty." The words echoed across the JAG bullpen as everyone had again gathered around the speaker phone to listen to the exchange between the search and rescue pilots and Captain Ingles of the Patrick Henry.
Harriet moaned. Bud reached for her hand and held it tightly.
"He's out there. He's going to be alright." Mac said with a calmness that surprised everyone around.
Renee who had been sitting quietly in the Admiral's office stood up and ran to the restroom with Harriet close behind.
"Why did he have to do this? He's a lawyer. He doesn't have to fly." Renee's voice mixed with sobs.
"Harm loves flying more than anything in the world." Harriet said gently.
"Well that's one more thing he loves more than me." Renee wiped her tears and turned to face Harriet. "Aren't you going to ask me what else he loves more than me? You probably know already. I know he loves her more than me. Why else would he put himself in danger?"
Mac stood speechless at the door of the restroom. Renee's words cut deeply.
Harriet looked from one woman to the other unsure what to say. "We are all worried about the Commander."
Renee looked to Mac, "Harriet can we have a moment please?"
Mac looked to Harriet and nodded for her to leave.
"Renee, " Mac was about to begin.
"Let me say it since no one else will. I've been counting the minutes until your wedding with Mic. I had the fantasy that once you were married that Harm would let you go. He holds on to you with all of his heart." Tears streamed down Renee's face. "And you are holding on to him. I don't think either of you mean to be the way you are... you just are...that's the way love is suppose to be...Maybe it will bring him through this."
Tears poured down Mac's cheeks as she listened to the painful truth. "Renee, I'm marrying Mic." She replied in a last ditch effort to maintain her crumbling defenses.
"Are you? " Renee responded with a hint of a sorrowful smile on her lips. She dapped the tears from her eyes and pushed out the door not waiting for a response.
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