Author: Nancy
Disclaimer: JAG doesn't belong to me...what a surprise. So guess
what, I don't get anything, but some generous feedback hopefully from
anyone who reads this.
Classification: PG-13 for violence, language
Category: Drama
Spoilers: Season Nine through beginning of 'Back in the Saddle'. This
story is based loosely on spoilers from 'Back in the Saddle' and the
character Mattie Grace.
Part 2
"Bud, could you help me track down some information?"
"Sure Sir, is this for the Eaton case?" Bud Roberts responded as the two walked away from the coffee machine that next Monday at JAG headquarters.
"Actually Bud, it's a personal favor. If you don't have the time, I would understand," Harm responded meekly.
"I'm pretty busy, but I could sandwich in what I can. Harriet is still on maternity leave. Could I get her to do some research from home?"
"I couldn't ask her to do that with the baby," Harm winced.
"I think she would love the intellectual challenge. She's going a little stir crazy. She tried to cut my meat and feed me at the dinner table the other night," Bud chuckled.
Harm amused responded, "Ask her, but don't pressure her. I'm trying to track down Mattie's birth parents."
"Mattie Grace, the girl you flew the crop duster with after you got canned by the CIA?" Bud replied with surprise earning a disgruntled look from Harm.
"Yes Bud, I still help her out on my off time. She just recently discovered she was adopted and elected to find her birth parents. This is what I have so far," Harm gave Bud several documents.
"I'll give this to Harriet. I think she would love this!"
"Bud I also have another matter...have you ever heard of a software import company named Marino Import?"
"No, but I can look into that too."
"Thanks Bud."
Meanwhile back at Blackburg Municipal Airport, Mattie saw the familiar sleek sports car followed by a dark expensive sedan drive up. Dillon got out wearing a large smile, "Mattie, I would like you to finally meet my Uncle Antonio!"
Mattie embarrassed about her appearance ran a hand through her hair and wiped her hands as an older small framed man of European descent approach. He wore sunglasses and had a white mustache to match his curly close-cropped hair. His clothing was expensive. He smiled smoothly, "You must be Mattie. My nephew has done nothing but talk of you." He reached and took her hand kissing the back of it.
Mattie blushed, "I wasn't expecting you. I'm a mess."
"You are quite lovely my dear!" he replied with a heavy accent. "We came to take you to the city for a fine dinner, yes?"
"Dillon, I don't have anything to wear," Mattie stuttered. "Maybe we can go another time."
"Nonsense! We will stop by the shops and if you will indulge an old man to play...what do you call it in your country? Santa Claus?"
"I don't know," Mattie began.
"Mattie, you will hurt his feelings!" Dillon pleaded. "It is getting late."
"Oh, I guess just this time. Let me at least change out of these dirty clothes and take a quick shower." Mattie smiled.
The evening was spent with Dillon's uncle and Dillon selecting expensive clothing and accessories from the most chic shops in the DC area. Dillon even arranged to have Mattie's hair, nails and make up done before they ended up in a very exclusive restaurant.
"You look enchanting my dear!" Antonio proclaimed as he toasted her with a glass of wine over dinner.
"I feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, except for the hooker part," Mattie giggled feeling a little heady from the wine.
Dillon and his uncle chuckled.
Harm sat in the office of Grace Aviation looking at the clock. It was 3 am when Dillon's sport's car drove up outside. Harm stood up and walked to the doorway where he heard Mattie giggling as Dillon pulled her into a deep long good night kiss.
Mattie skipped into the office past Harm giggling, "Hey Harm!"
"Mattie, late date?" He asked tonelessly.
"No," she slurred looking up at the clock, "Actually it's an early date!"
Harm looked at her dress. The outfit was tight, shiny, expensive and out of character for Mattie. "Been shopping?" he said flatly.
"Yes, do you like it? Dillon thinks it is really hot!" she leaned over the desk and giggled some more.
"I think you need to go to bed and sleep it off, I'll come back tomorrow," Harm said trying to contain his anger.
"You don't like my outfit?" Mattie pouted. "You don't like it because Dillon likes it."
"Good night Mattie." Harm closed the door behind him vowing to find out more about Dillon Marino.
********
Harm yawned again as he poured over his work at the office a few hours later.
"You look like you could stand some coffee," Mac stood at his doorway.
"Yea, do you have the Eaton motions ready?"
"I gave them to Bud yesterday," she replied and continued to watch him as he resumed reading.
"Do you need something Colonel?"
Mac moved into his office and closed the door, "Harm, I understand you asked Bud to help you gather some information related to that young girl who came by the office the other day."
Harm sighed deeply, "Do you have a problem with that Colonel?" He looked up with at her with blood shot eyes that didn't go unnoticed by Mac.
"Harm, she seems to be a little precocious and somewhat promiscuous. Do you think this relationship is best for you at this point in your career? I'm just concerned that people may get the wrong idea," Mac suggested carefully.
Harm's gaze hardened, "First of all Colonel, my private life, is mine. At one time you were privileged to be a part that, but I believe you made the decision that it would not work...something about competition and all that so lets just keep it in the court room. And since you seem to be the undesignated moral authority of JAG from what I hear, I would not judge before you know all the facts! Now if you would excuse me, I have work to do," he answered coolly.
Mac drew in a deep breath and turned to walk away.
"Colonel, I will speak with Lt. Roberts and make sure he no longer spends any of his time addressing any personal matters of mine in the future," Harm added without looking up.
*****
Harm drove out to the airfield frustrated from his earlier interchange with Mac and dreading his confrontation with Mattie.
Mattie was sitting in the office talking on the phone when he arrived.
She completed the call and looked up with a smile. "Hi! Got some forms for me to sign?"
"Yep," Harm opened his briefcase and spread several forms for her.
"Sooo, everything's all free and clear now?" she added too cheerfully.
"I just have to drop these off by the courthouse and yes the business will then be officially yours," Harm replied without smiling.
"Look Harm about last night, nothing happened. Dillon's Uncle Antonio was in town, decided to play Santa, and took me shopping. By the time, we ate and everything, it was late. I had a couple of glasses of wine," Mattie explained using her hands to make a point.
"Mattie, I have one question," Harm held her gaze. "Do you like the person Dillon is turning you into?"
"What do you mean?"
"Look at you Mattie." He pointed to her fake nails and remnants of heavy make up on her face.
She unconsciously reached up and wiped her face and then looked at her nails, "What's wrong with this stuff, everybody else wears it?"
"You're not everybody else Mattie. Can you work on an engine with those nails? Did you like that dress you wore last night? Was the food good at that restaurant where you ate?"
"The dessert was good," Mattie replied weakly. "Harm, they were just being friendly. I don't have that many friends. What's wrong with friends giving gifts to friends?" she sounded defensive.
"Nothing, if they're not trying to change you into something you're not." Harm took a slow deep breath. "Mattie, real friends don't try to change who you are."
"But you do! You wanted me to dress up more and now that I do, you don't like it!"
"I liked when you dressed up on your terms. You picked out what you liked and put on the make up that was right for you. That look last night was not you."
"But what about your friends at work, the ones who wanted to change you? I see you still hang around them." Mattie argued.
"I'm still me, but some relationships have changed. Work relationships are complicated."
"That's why there's no you and Mac the Marine. But you and the Admiral went to a baseball game together? He didn't want you back after you helped Mac? So now your kissing his…" Mattie frowned.
"Mattie! It's not like that. He's my commanding officer, and he had to do his duty. Besides being a friend doesn't mean you prevent someone from experiencing the consequences of his actions," Harm tried to explain.
"So you're saying that if Dillon really cares about me, he'll quit trying to change me?" Mattie shook her head.
"Do you really think you need to change?"
Mattie frowned, "You're confusing me."
"You are confused Mattie about what you want in a relationship, and I don't want you to make a mistake that you will regret the rest of your life."
"What about that business about friends not preventing friends from experiencing consequences of their own actions?" Mattie challenged.
"You haven't made the mistake yet, Mattie."
"It's my life...my mistakes and my consequences!"
Harm winced.
**********
Harm seemed distracted at work the next day when Lt. Bud Roberts came to the door, "Sir, I have some information for you."
Harm looked up at Bud's solemn face and took the document. "Harriet traced Mattie's place of birth and with the release forms you provided was able to obtain the birth certificate. I thought you should see it first."
His handsome face paled when he read the lines where the parents' names were listed. "Bud please don't mention this to anyone." He then picked up the phone, "Coates, would you please inform the Admiral that I need to take the afternoon. I have a personal emergency that I need to handle."
Numbed, he grabbed his coat and cover and retreated before the Admiral had a chance to call him into his office to quiz him on the nature of his crisis.
"Bud, where did the Commander go? We have a meeting at 1400?" Mac watched Harm dart out of the department.
"He had a...personal emergency to take care of Ma'am," Bud responded awkwardly.
Mac groaned, "I'll bet that Mattie is in trouble, and Harm has to go rescue her. He's going to end up sacrificing his career again!"
Bud frowned, "Colonel, can I say something personal?"
"Sure Bud."
"When are you going to give the Commander a break? Maybe his career isn't what matters most to him. You know if he wasn't the person he is, I wonder if I would be here today? What about you?" Bud spoke firmly but gently and walked away.
*******
Harm arrived to find Mattie bent over one of the Stearman with her butt in the air. "I'll be with you in just a minute." She called out.
"Don't hurry on my account."
"Harm!" she smiled pushing a stray strain of hair out of her face. She jumped down from the ladder and walked over. "I was afraid you wouldn't be coming around as much after the other night."
"Just because I don't agree with your actions, doesn't mean that I'm not going to stop coming around," Harm's smile faded, and he directed her to a couple of chairs, "I have some information for you."
"What?" Mattie wiped her hands on her coveralls and looked concerned.
"I have your original birth certificate," Harm's voice softened.
"You do!" Her eyes rounded. "I don't know if I'm ready for this. I guess it doesn't matter. It's just a couple of names. I won't know them. Right?" She looked up but Harm was looking down. "Right?"
He handed her the envelope, and she looked at the pain in his eyes as she pulled the document out. Slowly she scrolled down reading baby girl...7 lbs. 3 oz.....etc...then she saw the parents names and her hands trembled slightly. Harm watched, as she remained mute.
"Mattie...I didn't know."
Her tear filled eyes reflected the betrayal she felt, "Yes, you did. I thought you cared for me, but that was a scam...you probably suspected all along...you were just covering up...this!" This held up the certificate and turned away.
"Mattie wait!" Harm yelled as Mattie jumped into a readied aircraft and taxied down the strip.
******
Harm arrived back at his apartment late that evening to find a message from Bud to return his call.
"How did it go Sir?"
"Not well," Harm dropped in his chair and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"What are you going to do?"
"I don't know."
"I know you didn't want me to work on the 'other matter' you ask me look into here, but I did anyway," Bud smiled a little slyly as he sat in front of his computer at work.
"Lt. Roberts, you have been spending way too much time around me and the Admiral will not be pleased," Harm smiled into the phone, "But thanks just the same and tell Harriet thanks for the other."
"Yes Sir, she knows. Marino Inc. is a front company for another named Qides which is located in Paraquay." Bud reported.
"Qides? What do they make?" Harm frowned.
"Computer games mostly. I have a list." Bud read Harm a small list.
"Bud have you ever played any of these?"
"I've never heard of any of them." Bud interrupted "Sir,I have another call could you hold just a moment." Harm looked at the list when Bud returned to the line, "That was Harriet. I have to go AJ just poured out a gallon of milk on the carpet, Jimmy is screaming, and everything is chaotic. I had better go home. Let me know if I can help you with anything else."
Harm continued to study the list and paled as he circled the first letter of each.
Smoke and Mirrors
Trappers and Hunters
Imagination
Never Neverland
Gator Game
Enemy Mine
Ride and Seek...STINGER
He then looked at the parent company Qides and reversed the letters Sediq, "Shit!"
Harm picked up his cell phone and dialed Grace Aviation, "Pick up Mattie!" He demanded, but the recorded message played instead. "Dammit Mattie, where are you?"
Harm jumped up and headed out the door on his Harley.
"Wait a minute...just who is this Mattie Grace to Commander Rabb?" the Admiral stood in his office with his arms folded tightly across his chest. Bud had cleaned up the mess at his house. When he thought again about the list he came to the same conclusion as Harm.
"Sir, she's the young woman that owns Grace Aviation. The small company Commander Rabb flew for after he was released from the CIA. Sir, do you think Sediq may be threatening Mattie to get revenge on him and the Colonel?" Bud Roberts asked worriedly.
"How would this involve me? Do you think Sediq plans to draw me into this because of Harm?" Mac questioned.
Bud looked at his feet. "I'm not at liberty to say."
"Lieutenant, you are sounding more like Rabb everyday!"
"Thank you sir!"
"Sir, permission to go to the airfield to assist the Commander," Mac spoke out.
"Permission denied, if Rabb is walking into some kind of trap. I don't need you to do the same thing. Rabb may go off half-cocked, but you've never been one to act without thinking," the Admiral sighed.
"Sir, I'm the one that got the Commander into this in the first place," Mac pleaded.
"Lieutenant, you are dismissed," the Admiral waited until the younger officer exited before he responded, "Mac, I had a similar discussion with Rabb when you went missing with Webb, and you see what happened."
"Yes sir, he lost his job and our friendship went south. Yes sir, I do understand the consequences. Sir, I also know that if I stayed here and something happened to Harm that I would never forgive myself," her voice caught. "A wise lieutenant asked me where I would be if the Commander's actions were of my choosing rather than his own. I sir, would not be here and as I remember on several occasions I don't think you would be either."
"Mac, you know you may be playing into Sediq's hands," the Admiral's tone sounded more concerned.
"Sir, with all due respect, Sediq doesn't necessarily have the element of surprise, and I want to make sure he keeps an appointment," Mac responded coolly.
"Appointment?"
"Yes, with Allah before he goes to hell," Clayton Webb answered for her as entered the office. "I guess you know whose in town."
"Actually he's probably at Blackburg Municipal Airport," Mac replied.
"That's where Rabb keeps his Stearman?" Clay asked.
"I thought you spooks knew everything," the Admiral responded sacastically.
"Harm's probably already headed out there," Mac replied.
"Do you have any ideas, Mr. Webb?" the Admiral interrupted.
"I just hope that Sediq believes we don't know he's in the country yet. I can have men headed out that way in less than an hour."
"That may not be soon enough. According to Bud, Harm's been gone for over an hour already," Mac replied anxiously.
"Why didn't he call someone?" Clay asked irritably.
The Admiral cleared his throat in embarrassment, "He called me, but Meredith...I was indisposed. He left a message for me to call Mr. Roberts for details and said he would be at Grace Aviation." If the situation hadn't been so desperate he was sure he would have received several smirks.
"I think he hoped that he could reach Mattie before Sediq. Let's hope he did," Mac replied.
******
The night sky was dark with no moon so no one would notice him as he walked up from down the road where he had left his bike. Quietly easing his handgun out of it's holster, Harm cautiously peered into the brightly lit hanger. Rap music boomed loudly. Mattie walked across the hanger with a several tools placing them in the toolbox and returned to the office. Harm scanned the hanger and secured the safety of his weapon before entering the facility.
Mattie looked up and jumped, "Oh Geez! Harm you scared me!"
"Everything okay?" he continued to look around.
"Yea, what's up with you?" she replied flatly remembering her anger.
"Mattie, we need to get out of here. I have my bike down the road," Harm pulled her arm gently.
"Why? I'm tired," she complained.
"Mattie listen to me. Someone's going to hurt you if we don't get out of here. You've got to trust me," Harm pleaded.
"I think that little time in the CIA went to your head," she shrugged. "Besides Dillon's supposed to come by."
"Mattie, Dillon's uncle is really a man named Sediq. He's a terrorist who buys and sells weapons he uses to kill innocent people. He's using you to get to me. We've got to get out of here."
"You're a real trip! What has Dillon done? He's bought me a few nice things, taken me on some dates, introduced me to Uncle Antonio. The guy's a real mass murderer! Now I understand why you can't keep a job."
"Mattie, you don't know anything about him...have you met any of his friends? He has no history. Mattie you are smarter than this...trust me!" Harm grabbed her arm and began to drag her behind him.
"Harm, you're hurting me!"
"Shhhh! Be quiet!"
"Harm you're scaring me!"
"Let her go!" Dillon's voice ordered.
Harm stopped, but he held tightly to Mattie almost pushing her behind himself.
"I said let her go!" Dillon demanded.
"No, we're leaving," Harm began to move his free hand to where his weapon was concealed.
"I would not do that Commander," Sediq's voice threatened coolly from behind them. "Now let the girl go."
Harm released his hold on Mattie who ran to Dillon confused by the situation. Dillon hugged her and smiled evilly at Harm as he whispered comforting words to Mattie.
"Now drop the weapon Commander and put your hands on top of your head," Sediq instructed.
Harm maintained his eye on Dillon who held Mattie tightly. Mattie gasped as Harm pulled out his weapon and dropped in on the ground. "Now kick it over to the side," Sediq continued.
"Uncle Antonio, Harm was just mixed up. I don't think he would have hurt you," Mattie tried to explain when she saw the gun Sediq aimed at Harm.
"Just let her go. She doesn't know anything," Harm bargained.
"I'm afraid she knows too much," Sediq grinned.
"What is he talking about Dillon?" Mattie looked up to the young man who held her in his arms.
"My name is not Dillon. It is Amir. You stupid little American bitch! Now shut up!" Amir grabbed her roughly.
Harm willed Mattie to look at him and calm down. People would be coming if they could just stall. He had to keep the attention on himself and keep Mattie alive. "What are you planning on doing?"
"You cost me Commander and for that you shall pay!" Sediq had brought handcuffs and clamped them onto Harm's wrists behind his back and then to one of the planes. "Maybe you will enjoy watching your young friend die slowly?" he laughed sardonically.
"What about Colonel Mackenzie?" Harm watched Mattie frown.
"I will get to her in due time. I am a patient man."
"But you have the opportunity to get her now."
"For someone who just months ago was willing to sacrifice himself to save the beautiful Colonel now you are anxious for her to see Allah?" Sediq's interest was piqued.
Mattie blurted out, "She is a cold selfish bitch! Harm lost his job, and she could care less about him!" Mattie jerked against Amir's hold only to receive a sharp slap in the face. Harm moved forward but the cuffs held.
"So you were betrayed by the lovely Marine Colonel." Sediq smirked.
The Admiral, Webb and Mac moved slowly into place. Webb radioed his men to surround the hanger.
"We can't risk entering just yet. Harm or Mattie could be killed," the Admiral voiced as they listened to the interchange.
Beads of sweat dropped down Harm's forehead as he continued to try to stall. "But I have information of great value to her. Want to deal?" Harm continued hoping to see some sign of help.
Sediq pulled a knife from his pocket and held it to Harm's throat. "I will make a deal. You share the information, and I will let your death be quick rather than slow."
Harm felt the tip of the knife press into his flesh and a trickle of blood ooze down his neck.
Mattie screamed, "Don't hurt him! I'm Colonel Mackenzie's daughter!"
Mac gasped and moved forward without thinking only to have the Admiral block her, "Wait!" he hissed.
"She's lying," Harm countered giving Mattie a glare. He had never intended on telling them.
"No it's the truth, I have the papers in the office over there! Mac doesn't know." Mattie screamed.
Sediq's eyes lit up, "Amir, take the girl and get the information. We now have bait." Harm caught a small sudden reflection of light from one of the outside windows sending a feeling of relief through him.
Amir pushed Mattie towards the office while Sediq turned towards Harm lowering the knife to the apex of his heart, "A deal is a deal he whispered."
The quick burst of gunfire and breaking glass that followed ushered in a sequence of events that seemed to pass in slow motion. Mattie screamed as Dillon's head exploded as he released his grip. Sediq jerked and blood trickled from his mouth as he struggled to hold the knife next to Harm's chest. A small smile formed on his lips and his eyes twinkled as he pushed himself forward before his eyes went vacant and he slid down Harm's torso to the ground.
The room was suddenly filled with men with radios, and Mattie found herself wrapped in someone's jacket being escorted out of the building to a car.
Mac and the Admiral made their way to where Harm was still handcuffed to the plane. Sediq was partially leaning on him leaving a trail of blood down Harm's clothing. One of the CIA agents pulled the dead terrorist away while another quickly released the handcuffs that held Harm.
"You okay Commander?" the Admiral asked looking at the blood soaked shirt and the dead terrorist.
Harm continued to lean against the plane and moved his hands over his bloody clothing. His breathing was short and labored.
"Harm?" Mac touched his clammy face.
Harm looked dazed and his legs slowly buckled.
"Damn," the Admiral looked more closely and discovered the blood was Harm's. Sediq still held the bloodied knife grasped tightly in his hand. "Get an ambulance now!" he ordered and placed gentle pressure over the wound. Mac removed her jacket placing it over him and gently lifted his head placing it on her lap.
Mattie wandered away from the car back to the hanger looking for Harm when she saw the medics move rapidly towards a group huddled around someone on the ground. She pushed her way through as they were starting an IV and placing a pressure dressing over the bleeding wound. Sarah Mackenzie still cradled Harm's head in her lap.
"Harm?" Mattie dropped on her knees near his head. "Harm?"
"Sediq stabbed him before we were able to take him. The medics are trying to stabilize him so he can be taken to the hospital," Mac explained looking at the shocked girl's face.
v Mattie looked at Mac and yelled, "Why don't you leave him alone!"
The medics carefully lifted Harm and moved him on to a stretcher. Mattie followed giving Mac a look that dared her to follow.
The Admiral came up beside Mac and guided her back to the hanger. "We'll follow. I just thought you may want to look at these before the CIA got hold of them."
Mac looked at the birth certificate that had her name and her dead husband's names. She found herself transferred back in time over eighteen years. "You have a little girl. Would you like to see her?" a nurse asked at her bedside.
"No, the people from the adoption agency are supposed to come tomorrow. I think it would be easier if I didn't see her," Sarah replied quietly, and the nurse nodded. After the door closed, she cried herself to sleep.
"We need to go Mac," the Admiral's voice broke her reverie.
They road in silence to the hospital. The Admiral had called Bud and Sturgis on the way and found them waiting when they arrived. Harm was stabilized in the emergency department and taken to surgery almost immediately. The JAG crew huddled together drinking coffee while Mattie isolated herself just outside the waiting area.
Mac gathered up the courage to approach Mattie after about the second hour of surgery when the anesthesiologist called. "Mattie, they called to let us know that Harm's surgery is going well, and he's holding his own," Mac spoke gently. "Would you like to come sit with us. It would be more comfortable in the waiting area?"
Mattie looked up at Mac with cold blood shot eyes. "You don't have to pretend to be nice to me. We're not in front of anybody."
Mac closed her eyes and tightened her lips, "Mattie, we're all worried about Harm."
"Are we?"
"Yes, I don't know what Harm told you about us," Mac began to try to explain.
"Gee you are a piece of work! Harm hasn't said anything negative about you. I think he's in love with you, Harm gave up his job for you and would have given up his life before he'd let some creep like that Sediq get to you. Don't worry nobody's gonna say anything to mess up your precious career. Nobody has to know about me because I'm not going to tell anybody. You gave me away. Did me a favor too. Thank you very much. You should be real happy because you've got what you want...your career!"
"Mattie, that's not why I gave you up. I couldn't take care of myself at the time much less an infant. I was a drunk married to a manipulative drunk. I joined the Marines to grow up. I was promised that you would be given a good home with two mature parents who would love you. They would give you things I couldn't...a stable loving home. You have no idea how hard it was for me to give you up."
"Jim and Maggie Grace were wonderful parents until they lost control of their car on a rainy night over five years ago. Then I lived with my grandpa who died less than a year ago of a stroke. I'm glad you were able to pull your life together! Let me ask you one question. Did you ever check up on me to make sure I was alright?"
"No Mattie, I didn't know the names of your adoptive parents."
"It's amazing that I just found out that I was adopted and I was able to find out about you. I guess that just shows how our priorities are different! Well things haven't been alright! I've been abandoned three times in my life! First by Jim and Maggie Grace and then by Grandpa and most recently I found out by you! The only difference was Jim, Maggie and Grandpa died. You chose a career over me! You seem to do that with anyone who might give a damn about you! Where is daddy dear anyway?"
"Your father is dead."
"What did he do drink himself to death because you chose the Marines over him? Oh, but you don't care because you're still just a selfish drunk but you have that title of Colonel and all that respect that goes with that uniform. Thanks for the medical history by the way. I'll be sure and stay away from the bottle!" Mattie huffed, "Well you might have a bunch of peons running around calling you Ma'am and saluting you because of your title, but you'll never have my respect!" she added with a bitter laugh.
Mac raised up her hand ready to strike the mouth the spit such venomous words but stopped herself as she saw a reflection of herself and her father at that same age. Mattie's eyes stared defiantly into Mac's. Mac dropped her hand in anguish.
Tears trickled down Mattie's face as she spoke the next words softly, "You know when Harm brought that birth certificate to me. I had this secret fantasy that I would read his name on that certificate. Instead, I ended up with you! I wish you were in there dying instead of Harm," with that Mattie turned away and ran into the rest room leaving Mac standing alone in the hallway.
"Oh God, Mattie, if I could trade places with him I would," Mac whispered through her own tears.
*************
The waiting room was tense with Mattie at one end and Mac on the other when the surgeon appeared. The Admiral stood up signaling the surgeon to address his remarks to him.
Harm was in critical but stable condition in the recovery room for the next few hours. He would then be moved to surgical intensive care. The wound had collapsed his left lung and created a hemopneumthorax or blood and air in the pleura space, which they repaired. He was lucky in that the pericardium or the sac around the heart had been torn, but the heart muscle itself had not been damaged. The surgeon was leaving him on a ventilator for another twenty-four hours and then he would begin to wean him off the device. They could see Harm once the staff had him settled, but only for about ten minutes. Harm's color wasn't good because his blood count was still low from the losses, but they were transfusing him. He has a central line, a chest tube, a foley catheter, and a NG tube besides the endotrachial tube attached to the ventilator. This equipment was all necessary and expected considering the injury the surgeon explained.
Mac pulled the Admiral aside, "Sir, please go in with Mattie to see Harm. She acts like she can handle anything, but she's not a strong as she pretends. And she's not having anything to do with me for the time being."
"Understood Mac, and what about you?"
"I'll be fine Sir."
"Commander, Lieutenant would one of you accompany the Colonel when she goes into see Commander Rabb," the Admiral whispered and turned to Mac, "You're not as strong as you pretend to be either Colonel."
Mattie timidly walked into the cubicle where Harm was lying surrounded by beeping and hissing hospital equipment. He looked so still and pale, Mattie reached out and touched him to make sure he was alive not trusting the equipment that continuously monitored his vital signs.
The Admiral walked over beside her and stood looking at his officer with concern.
"Harm, don't let God take you too," Mattie's voice sounded unsteady and youthful. She continued her speech ignoring the Admiral's presence. "I'm sorry Harm. You were right. You gotta wake up so you can hear me say that because you won't get a chance to hear me say that too often, but you were right about Dillon or Amir or whoever he was. You were right about people trying to change you. A real friend accepts you for who you are and doesn't try to change you. You've been a real friend to me when I needed one. More than that, you've been family to me when I didn't have one. Harm, I still need you so please..." her words became mixed with soft sobs, "please get well so we can fly together again because I've decided you can be my unofficial dad. I'll keep Sarah ready to fly." Mattie wiped the tears from her face and squeezed Harm's hand before walking out of the room leaving a speechless Admiral behind.
Bud walked in with Mac and frowned as he looked at the ashen face of his mentor. Mac moved close to the bed and picked up Harm's limp hand and gently caressed it. "Okay flyboy, you're not invincible...even superman had kryptonite."
"He's going to be alright," Bud whispered.
"We tend to take Harm for granted sometimes. At least I do," Mac added sadly.
Bud frowned, "But he's survived how many crashes?"
Mac looked up at Bud and then at Harm, "I guess Harm keeps pushing himself because we have this expectation that he is invincible Bud, but he's not. He hurts just like the rest of us, and he could die."
"You don't think he's going to die?" Bud's eyes grew wide with concern.
"I pray not, but I think that maybe we need to stop thinking that Harm's immortal. Maybe, there are more important things in life than getting the best cases, winning an argument and getting promotions. Maybe being on top isn't so great." Mac spoke more to Harm than to Bud as she held his hand until the nurse came in signaling them that visiting time was over.
********
Over the next few days, Harm was weaned off the ventilator and a few of the tubes were gradually discontinued. As promised he was moved to the Surgical ICU step down unit where he was assisted to the bedside chair for the first time.
"Hey, look at you!"
"Yea and look at you...you look tired," Harm's voice still lacked it's normal vigor, and he became breathless if he tried to talk for more than a few sentences.
"At least I don't look like an extra from 'The Night of the Living Dead'in a chair," Mattie countered and smiled.
"Good thing your jokes aren't funny, because it hurts to laugh," Harm smiled weakly.
She walked around him checking him out, "I see you still have Beep- Beep." She pointed to the continuous cardiac monitoring equipment that had accompanied Harm to the new room.
"Yep, he makes almost as much irritating noise as you," Harm teased but was ignored as she eyed the chest tube system and foley catheter bag that snaked indiscreetly out from under the blanket that covered his legs. "Wow Harm! Are you sure you weren't beamed up and turned into a Borg?"
"What's a Borg?"
"You're not a Trekkie, I take it," she grunted and collapsed on his empty bed.
"Bud's the Trekkie," Harm looked confused. "What's up?"
"I brought you something to read," she pulled two books from a bag and passed them to Harm. They were beautifully leather bound editions of James A. Michener's Tales of the South Pacific and Mark Twain's Roughing It.
Harm smiled and opened the first book to find an inscription written to Mattie from her adoptive parents. He looked up to Mattie. "Every Christmas and birthday, my parents would give me a book. I loved adventure stories." She explained.
Harm looked inside and saw the dates. "These were the last two books they gave you."
"I reread them this week. I forgot how much I enjoyed reading them and the others they gave me. I have a whole collection. When you finish these, I'll bring you some more. Have you read them?"
"I read them a long time ago, but I would like to read them again. Thank you Mattie. You've been thinking about your parents haven't you?" he coaxed gently.
"Yea, what you said about people who care about you accepting you and all...that was them. I remember my mom taking me to ballet lessons when I was about five. Can you image ME in a pink leo?" She chuckled, "I was horrible! But I kept going because I wanted them to be proud of me." Mattie seemed to lose herself in the memory as she continued, "One day mom picked me up early and found me crying in the rest room. I told her that I had a tummy ache, but she figured it out. She helped me change and drove me to the sporting goods store and let me pick out a baseball glove and signed me up for t-ball. I was the happiest kid on the team. My parents never missed a game. I remember my dad reading me Mark Twain, Michener, Kipling, Sherlock Holmes and all the great westerns from as far back as I can remember. On the weekends we would go to Norfolk and watch the ships come into port or go to the airport and watch the aircraft take off. Grandpa was the pilot, and he would take me up in his Stearman and let me take the stick. I had the perfect life," Mattie smiled sadly. "They were great people Harm, and I miss them. I didn't realize how angry I was with them for leaving me."
"Sounds like you are beginning to forgive them," Harm responded.
"I think I am," she smiled.
"Five years is a long time to be angry with someone. Are you going to spend the rest of your life being angry with Mac?" Harm asked carefully.
"That's different, Mac choose to give me up. I've done just fine without her, and she apparently has done fine without me," Mattie replied firmly pulling herself up on the bed.
"Mattie, before you write her off why don't you get to know her?"
"Harm, she left you hanging out to dry. I don't think I want to know anymore."
"Mattie, she has been a good friend to me and has been there for me for more times than I can count. Besides what happened between the two of us should not affect your relationship," he added squirming as the pain in his chest began to grow.
"I believe the situation does affect how I see her...it goes towards pattern of behavior as you legal eagles would say...I watch The Practice," Mattie retorted with arms crossed.
Harm sighed and moved in his chair trying to find a more comfortable position as the fatigue and pain grew. "You're not giving her a fair chance...you're not giving you a fair chance," Harm's tone conveyed his inability to control his frustration.
"Why do you always need to defend her?" Mattie reacted with anger.
Harm's hand went protectively to his wound as the tension between them continued to grow increasing his pain and shortness of breath. The monitor reflecting the increase in his vital signs. But seemed neither to notice or care.
"Mattie, this isn't about me and Mac. Don't you understand?" Harm's voice softened with the strain.
"No I don't!" Mattie's agitated voice was still loud when the door to Harm's room opened. The Admiral stood at the doorway clearing his throat interrupting the exchange.
"I knocked," he explained, but a nurse with an orderly swept by asking Harm's visitors 'to please step out' before more could be said.
"I better go," Mattie gave Harm a short wave and exited with the Admiral.
"Miss Grace," the Admiral stopped Mattie before she could leave. "I realize you have been through some very traumatic times. If there is anything that I can do please call, but Commander Rabb is still recovering from a very serious trauma, and the doctors feel that stress is not what he needs right now," the Admiral tried to be tactful while sharing his concern with the young woman.
Mattie gave the Admiral an icy glare and replied, "What would you know about what Commander Rabb needs, and why do you care now? I tell you what Mr. Admiral Sir. I'll try to be more sensitive to Harm's need for less stress if you don't can him for trying to do his hero act this time." The Admiral's eyebrow raised as the young woman stalked away indignantly before he could respond.
AJ entered Harm's room as the nurse finished tucking him back in bed, "That Mattie is a pistol."
"Tell me about it. She's a chip off the old Mackenzie block," Harm smiled tiredly earning a smirk from the Admiral.
*******
Harm's recovery continued uneventfully, and he was discharged home unable to return to work for another few weeks. Between his mother, Mattie and various co-workers he had little time alone during the first week at home. Needless to say, he was pleased whenever everybody returned to work, and he was declared able to manage the remainder of his convalescence time alone.
Just as he was settling down to read one of the books Mattie had dropped off, someone knocked at his door. Thinking it was Mattie again he pushed himself up and opened the door, "You know you're getting to be a real pest..."
Mac stood with several bags of take out, "Oh? I'll just leave the food then,"
"Wait, come on in, I thought you were Mattie," Harm opened the door.
Mac walked in and placed the food on the counter, "So Mattie's made herself a real fixture around here?" Her voice didn't disguise the ache she felt.
"You know I was helping Mattie with the business," Harm tried to explain.
Mac smiled half-heartedly. "Harm, she comes over here because she likes to be around you. I can understand that. You were there for her when she needed someone, and I appreciate that."
Harm moved over to his kitchen bar and pulled out a couple of plates and silverware as Mac began to open several containers of Chinese food. "What brings you here besides hunger?"
Mac rolled her eyes and began to serve their plates. "I came to check up on you. Since you've been out, work has been pretty hectic and the Admiral sent me on a couple of investigations."
"You don't have to explain. I wasn't expecting you to come by. " Harm turned towards his refrigerator and pulled out two bottles of water.
"I hoped you were...expecting me to come by," Mac sat down picking up her fork.
"Have you seen Mattie?" Harm opted to change the subject as he too picked up his fork and began to eat.
"I've tried to call, but all I get is the answering machine. She won't return my calls,"
"She doesn't return anybody's calls, because she doesn't check her messages. I've been after her about that...bad for business," Harm frowned. "Have you tried to go by the hanger?"
"I don't want to push too hard," Mac replied between bites.
"Probably a good idea. She's not very forgiving."
"I've begun to figure that out, but I guess I understand. I waited until my father was on his deathbed to forgive him. I guess she comes by it honestly," Mac said somberly.
"That was different. Give Mattie some time, she may be independent, but she still acts like a child sometimes," Harm replied sympathetically.
"She thinks the world of you," Mac smiled.
"She's just looking for a father figure," Harm grunted.
"Speaking of fathers. The other reason I came over tonight was to let you know I'm collecting on our deal."
"Deal?" Harm looked bewildered.
"The five year deal?" Mac prompted.
Harm's eyes rounded, "Mac ah things between us," he pointed at himself then her as he stuttered, "haven't exactly been conducive to ah."
Mac looked at him seriously, "A promise is a promise. You said you've never broken a promise yet."
"But Mac." Harm was speechless.
Mac watched him do a great impression of a goldfish before she finally spoke, "Who would have thought five years ago that you and I would share a child together? I guess it was fate or maybe some sort of destiny? I never thought I would ever see my baby again when I gave her up for adoption. But I guess it was fate that stepped in when she connected with you. You and your love for flying. I think how many times I cursed your love for flying and that was one of the links that brought Mattie back to me. Then you lost your job with the Navy and then with the CIA playing Mighty Mouse," Mac smiled watching him intently as she continued.
"You were being you again. Another necessary link because those events lead you to spend more time working on your Stearman and taking that job that had you connecting with Mattie. And to think that I wanted you to change." Mac winced thoughtfully. "Giving Mattie up was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I felt I was doing the right thing for her. Some very special people cared for Mattie until destiny tragically left her alone, but there you were at just the right time for her, and she fell in love with you. You were the father she needed and still needs. I may be her biological mother, but she's not ready to allow me to be part of her life just yet. That is why I'm calling in the deal...to have a child together...Mattie."
Harm sat quietly contemplating Mac's words.
"You see I have this best friend who showed me that what counts most above anything else in this world including career is the people you care about...they're worth risking it all for." She moved over to him picking up his hand and holding it in hers.
"Mac," Harm started to interrupt only to have her touch his lips to silence him.
"You know your mouth usually gets you in trouble so why don't you just listen until I'm finished. We kept trying to have this little talk and every time we did, we ended up fighting. So I decided our problem was instead of talking more we should have been listening more with our hearts. The love was always there...I was just a slow learner, and too busy wanting everything on my terms and perhaps you were too. I thought I had my life all figured out. I had my priorities established, my career headed in the right direction. I even decided I didn't need a man, a family and then everything came crashing down...and when I started picking up the pieces I found they didn't stack up the same."
"This sounds familiar. Only I don't really need a man." He teased and grew more serious. "I guess we both have been dealing with abandonment issues in our own way for a long time. Maybe it's time to think about someone else's need for a change."
"I never thought about that, but it's true." Mac smiled. "Well? Is it a deal?"
Harm placed his free hand over hers and looked into her eyes, "So you want to share your child?" He looked deeply into her brown eyes and bit his bottom lip, "Do you realize what you are asking me?... She likes Rap music! She eats meatlover's pizza. Have you ever been in the car with her when she drives? She watches TV 24 and 7 and quotes lines from the shows. Did I say she likes Rap?"
The End
"...but she does like to fly and has a great book collection."
"I think she would look great in green."
"Trust me Mac, don't even suggest it!"
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