Author: Nancy
Disclaimer: JAG doesn't belong to me...what a surprise. So guess
what, I don't get anything, but some generous feedback hopefully from
anyone who reads this.
Classification: PG-13 for violence, language
Category: Drama
Spoilers: Season Nine through beginning of 'Back in the Saddle'. This
story is based loosely on spoilers from 'Back in the Saddle' and the
character Mattie Grace.
From the moment Harmon Rabb and Mattie Grace met, they got along fabulously...like oil and vinegar until you shook them real hard and they mixed and were great when poured on salad. She was precocious, incorrigible, hated structure of any form and in desperate need of adult in her life. He on the other hand was impulsive, stubborn, desired order and neatness from his military background and was in desperate need of a job. Both loved flying, airplanes and adventure. Harm had that deeply ingrained hero complex while Mattie, on the other hand, probably had the words to 'Rescue Me' tattooed somewhere. It seemed inevitable that their paths should intercept in the great scheme of life.
Those first awkward weeks had been difficult as Harm covertly helped Mattie run Grace Aviation. But he persevered because it kept his mind off his seriously damaged ego from the recent job losses not to mention his strained relationships. Talk about hitting a midlife crisis. This was the last place he thought he would end up at this point in his career...crop dusting..."OUCH!" He pulled his hand back and sucked on his finger that was now bleeding.
"Well are you going back?" Mattie persisted as the two of them in oily dirty coveralls leaned deeply over the engine of a partially dismantled Stearman engine.
Harm stood up stretching his aching back and looked at the young woman who had been pressing him with non-stop questions for the past half-hour. Her dark brown eyes were partially covered with almost black brown bangs that escaped the ball cap she wore backwards to keep her straight chin length hair out of her face. A dark streak of oil adorned her right cheek where she had rubbed her face with a grimy finger making her look like an Indian ready for the warpath Harm thought with amusement. She hid her vulnerability well under the guise of that stubborn streak. Her grandfather had purchased the business and died suddenly of a stroke leaving it to Mattie just weeks before Harm's arrival. Her grandpa was her only family, and she was determined to make their shared dream work.
He shook his head and ambled towards the office where he washed his hands and rummaged through the first aid box to get a Band-Aid. He struggled to try to wrap the band-aid around the bleeding finger when Mattie snatched the bandage away, "Here give it to me, I know I'm not going to get a straight answer from you anyway!" She pouted and placed the band-aid neatly on the wounded finger.
"Thank you, I'm glad to see that you are finally showing some concern for someone other than yourself," Harm replied and sank down in one of the old wooden office chairs.
"Harm, I'm sorry," Mattie replied sarcastically and plopped down in the other chair in the office. "You know that if you leave, I will have to find another pilot. I also will need someone to do the books."
"So you finally admit that you need someone," Harm's eyebrow shot up.
"Of course I need help. The business is growing," came an exasperated rebuttal.
"Mattie, I'll help you find someone." Harm responded softly.
"So you are quitting! I can't believe you're leaving me!"
"I'm not leaving you Mattie, I have a chance to go back to a job that I really never wanted to leave in the first place."
"But we could have made this a big business!"
"Mattie, you can still build your business. However, Grace Aviation was your dream and your grandfather's. I'll still be around to help you keep up with the books, and I'll do some flying on my days off, but once I'm back at JAG sometimes I'll be gone for weeks. I just can't promise that I'll be here everyday." Harm looked at the disappointment in her young eyes.
"Yea, right. I've heard that before." Mattie got up and tore out of the room sending a shower of papers from the desk flying in all direction.
*******
Harm had made a point to continue to keep up his visits to the Blackburg Municipal Airport on a regular basis once he returned to JAG. Mattie at first had been distant and peevish with him, but soon fell back into her usual rapport when he continued to call and let her know when he would be coming and when he would be away.
His weeks returning to JAG had been an adjustment. The Admiral and he were working on their relationship. Bud and Coates seemed most openly grateful to have him back. Sturgis seemed to be testy and defensive, but not just towards him. Mac was politely aloof which he reciprocated believing that it was for the best. Deciding to focus on work and going to the Blackburg Airport in the evenings and days off gave him an excuse not to have to deal with office relationships. Besides Mattie needed him, and he needed someone to need him.
"How's it going?"
"What?"
"Work, what do you think I'm talking about? Your love life? Like you have one? By the way, why don't you have one? You're a nice lookin guy for an older guy," Mattie babbled as they added oil to one of the engines.
"Thanks Mattie, I can always count on you to bolster my male ego," Harm responded flatly. "Speaking of love lives, I haven't seen Jerry, the parts guy hovering around here lately. What did you say to him to chase him off?"
Mattie grunted indignantly, "Where did you get the idea that Jerry and I were an item? I never had a thing for him."
"I thought he was a nice kid," Harm countered. "Hey, he brought you those samples from the tool shop when he made that last delivery. I think he has a 'thing' for you." Harm smiled as he saw Mattie look up and roll her eyes. He had been trying to get her to 'fix her self up' instead of always wearing those grimy coveralls and hanging out with the contract pilots. Sometimes he wished he was still seeing Renee. She would know what to do with Mattie.
"If you like Jerry the Generous so much, you take him out."
"Not my type." Harm held up his hands defensively.
"Well who is your type? Mac?" Mattie replied smartly.
"What gives you the idea that I have something for Mac the Marine?" Harm's smile faded as he picked up a rag and began to wipe his hands refusing to look at Mattie.
"Maybe it's the way you talk about everyone at JAG, but barely mention her." Mattie forced him to make eye contact with her receiving a frown, "I'm right!" Mattie squealed in delight.
"Mac and I just work together. She is only interested in her career." Harm said firmly.
"SHE is only interested in her career. But, what about you? She's the one you lost your job the first time around for wasn't she?" Mattie continued to probe following Harm around the hanger as he picked up tools and put them up.
Harm spoke curtly, "Mattie, this is none of your business." He felt a tension headache building and wanted to go home,get a beer and escape Mattie's interrogation.
"You said you resigned your commission because a friend's life was endanger, and you needed to go help them. That was Mac's life wasn't it? But she didn't give a rat's ass did she? Selfish bitch!" Mattie said in disgust and ran to catch up with him as he stripped out of the coverall and slipped into his jacket and helmet.
"Mattie, I lost my job, because I resigned my commission. There were other reasons I was not asked to return. I alone am responsible for my actions. If I want to blame someone... then I blame me!" Harm cranked up the Harley and left the speechless girl standing in the drive as he drove away.
Harm didn't call the next day because he had to leave immediately to go to Rosy Roads in Puerto Rico for an investigation. The cell phone links where not functioning well due to some odd solar flare anomaly adding to the communication break down.
Mattie made her way through the bullpen feeling out of place in the busy department. She felt awkward wearing the pair of dress pants and stylish cranberry sweater complete with makeup and jewelry.
"May I help you?" Petty Officer Coates asked the young woman who looked more lost than anything else.
"I'm looking for Commander Harm Rabb," Mattie continued to scan her surroundings.
"He's not in. I'm Petty Officer Coates. Did you have an appointment?" Jennifer answered with a smile.
"No, no appointment. I just thought I would drop by. Do you know when he'll be back?"
Jennifer smiled, "He's on an investigation out of town. I could take a message and when he calls I'll be glad to relay the message."
"Oh, that's okay. You don't have to bother."
"Petty Officer, did the fax from San Diego arrive?" Mac interrupted, not seeing the younger woman Jennifer was speaking with until she walked to where they were standing, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt."
"Colonel Mackenzie, this is..." Jennifer glanced at Mattie who was giving Mac a look of chilly disdain.
"Mattie Grace," Mattie snapped and offered Mac a tight smile that made Jennifer look at Mac questioningly.
"Miss Grace is there anything we can assist you with?" Mac offered unsure of all the negative vibes she was getting from the young woman.
"Call me Mattie, I was just up here to see where Harm works. I understand he's on an important investigation. He's really good at that sort of thing. But I guess you all know that, don't you. I'd better be going. I'll just catch up with him when he gets back in town. Chow," Mattie grinned using her best 'Legally Blonde' impression. Jennifer and Mac exchanged amused looks as the young woman shimmed out of the bullpen winking at several of the young male clerks.
Bud Roberts walked over to the stunned pair, "Did I hear that young woman asking for the Commander?"
"Yes," Mac answered with a concerned frown.
"I hope that was his kid cousin," Jennifer responded.
"Me too." Bud added.
"Harm what have you gotten yourself into now?" Mac mumbled.
*******
Harm dragged himself into the office late that evening and picked up his messages. He tried dialing the hanger again. Mattie had not checked her messages again, something he tried to get her to do regularly. He then saw where Coates had left a message that Mattie had come by the office.
He was tired, and decided to call the hanger in the morning.
Mattie had made it back to the hanger after her trip to JAG headquarters to find a black expensive sports car parked outside.
"Hi, you Grace?" the smile that went with sports car almost immobilized Mattie.
"Yes, but you can call me Mattie," she smiled coyly. Coyly?
"You can call me Dillon. I need to lease one of your planes," he smiled again showing his perfectly aligned pearly whites. He was probably around twenty-nine, tanned and worked out at least a couple hours everyday. His black hair and dark eyes gave him a European look. Mattie had never been totally swept off her feet before by a guy until today. Dillon Marino made her dizzy.
"I need a driver's license, proof of insurance, pilot's license and two hundred an hour. I'll have her ready in about thirty minutes."
"Oh, it's not for me, " Dillon chuckled. "I'm here to schedule a plane for Friday afternoon for a business associate. He'll want it for the weekend.
"The weekend?" Mattie smiled thinking about the revenue.
"You do least for that length of time?"
"Oh yes, and I do give discounts." Mattie smiled coquettishly.
"Great. If this works out then we'll be seeing each other regularly," Dillon smiled pulling out a pair of expensive designer sunglasses.
"Weekends mostly?"
"Yes, will that work for you?"
"Most of what we do is crop dusting during the week."
"Then it would be perfect for both of us. Would you like to go get some dinner somewhere? To celebrate our new business arrangement." Dillon offered his arm.
"Sure," Mattie reached for the proffered arm feeling absolutely feminine for the first time in her life.
When she returned that evening she noticed that the message light was blinking, she pressed the button and heard several messages play. Harm had called several times. Damn, she had forgotten to check them again. She would call him tomorrow. Tonight she would go to bed and dream of Dillon. They had so much in common. He had lost both of his parents at an early age and was raised by an uncle. He had gone into business with his uncle importing computer software making mega bucks. His friend was trying to clock flying hours, and Dillon was helping him out by leasing the plane. They had talked for hours about everything and nothing. Then they walked, and he showed her places she had never noticed before telling her stories about each place. He was so smart and sensitive. She could still smell his cologne. He kissed her lightly on the lips when he dropped her off, but she could still feel his lips. She was in love she thought as she hugged her pillow and shivered. She turned on her CD player and listened to Enya's Wild Child her favorite. She couldn't wait for Harm to meet him.
********
"Hey!" Harm's voice woke her.
"Harm! Guess what! You'll never guess. Okay I'll tell you. I have us a regular client. He's renting one of the planes every weekend, and I'm in love!" she blurted out.
"Wait a minute...what?" Harm sipped a cup of coffee he held in his hand. "I heard something about a client, but what was the last part?"
"I can't wait for you to meet him. He'll be around again Friday with his friend to pick up the plane. His name is Dillon Marino, and he's the one." Mattie ended with a sigh.
"How long have you known this guy Mattie?"
"I met him yesterday, and we went out last night. We have so much in common."
"How old is this guy?"
"I don't know...late twenties I guess why?"
"He's a little old for you don't you think?"
Silence
"Mattie?"
"Harm why are you giving me the third degree?"
"I don't know Mattie. I left, and you weren't interested in guys. I come back and you're infatuated with this Dillard guy."
"You think I go to Mushville over the first guy that flashes his big pearly whites at me! Give me a little credit here! And his name is Dillon. Geez!"
"Sorry Mattie, I guess it's the attorney coming out. A thousand and one questions you know. I'm looking forward to meeting him. There must be something special about him if you like him."
"There is."
"I got in late last night and checked my messages, by the way, when are you going to start checking yours? I saw that you stopped by the office. Is there a problem?"
"Sorry about the message thing. I just can't seem to remember to check that flipping blinking light. Yes, I received this letter from my grandfather's attorney about the business. I don't understand all that legal speak. I was wondering if you would explain it when you come out?"
"Sure, see you tomorrow, and I really do look forward to meeting Douglas."
"Dillon."
"Right."
"By the way, I met the woman who scorned you."
"Who?"
"Mac the Marine."
"Later Mattie."
"Bye."
*************
"What do you think of him?" Mattie grinned with bright eyes sitting on the edge of the desk. Rap music was blasting from a portable CD player.
Harm glanced up and then looked back at the document Mattie had given him to read not responding.
"Well, isn't he E News worthy! I mean he's GQ's Man!" she continued hugging her knees.
Harm gave her a confused look, "I forgot you're TV phobic...he's fine," Mattie interpreted.
Harm raised an eyebrow, "I wouldn't describe him as fine."
"Well of course you wouldn't you're a straight guy."
Harm looked back at the papers he was reading and didn't respond.
"You are straight? I mean because if you're not that might explain the lack of a love life. It's not like I'm in the military, and I have to do the 'don't ask, don't tell, don't..." Mattie paced around Harm who looked up expressionlessly.
"I think he's hiding something."
Mattie dropped into a chair opposite Harm's, "What? Just because you like Jerry the Generous, you decided he's Dillon the Devious?"
"Mattie, he's too good to be true," Harm explained gently leaning back into his chair.
Mattie's mouth dropped open in an exaggerated shock, "Now that's a new one. I don't like your new boyfriend because he's TOO NICE!"
"He's too slick. He's too old for you. He's got too much money that's unexplained."
"I told you he's in business with his uncle. Computer software."
"I've never heard of the company."
"He said they subcontract out to other companies."
"It sounds too neat. Everything is too coincidental."
"HELLO. Maybe because IT'S TRUE! Why can't something good happen in my life?"
Harm looked at Mattie's face full of fierce determination and saw a hint of vulnerability.
"Why do we always seem to be fighting lately?" Harm smiled indulgently.
"Because you're so stubborn!" Mattie crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair not ready to call a truce.
"I'll agree with that," Harm nodded.
"Just because you screwed up your life doesn't mean that I'm going to screw up mine," Mattie exploded.
"I certainly hope not," Harm agreed calmly.
"I hope when I'm as old as you, I won't be sitting around with some kid because I don't have a life," Mattie continued her rant.
"Is that why you think I'm here?" Harm put the papers down and leaned forward meeting her gaze straight on.
"Well isn't it?" Mattie looked away playing nervously with a pencil that found its way into her hands.
"No actually, I chose to be here because I enjoy being with you...most of the time. We have a lot in common." Harm let out a half laugh and resumed his study of the documents in front of him.
Mattie shifted uncomfortably, "Look, I'm sorry. Sometimes I say things because I'm angry, you know."
"I know," Harm replied softly without looking up.
"Well? What's the problem?" Mattie pointing to the papers and changing the subject to her latest problem.
"It seems that the attorney for your grandfather's estate was unable to finish transferring ownership of the business into your name because your grandfather's will originally left everything to your father."
"But my parents were killed nearly five years ago in a car accident?"
"Your grandfather never had his will updated and never had her will probated. Once your father's will is probated, you will inherit the business through cession."
"Is this going to be hard?"
"I will just need a few documents like your birth certificate, your parents death certificates and their wills."
"I think Grandpa kept all those papers in his safe, I'll go get them."
When Mattie returned Harm quickly scanned them and nodded, "This should take care of everything." He sorted the documents and made a few notes. "I didn't realize you were adopted Mattie."
"What are you talking about? I wasn't adopted."
Harm frowned and looked at her to see if she was teasing, "Mattie according to these records you were adopted." He held out a document in his hand.
"No way!" She grabbed the document away. "This must be a mistake. My parents would have told me!" She looked at the paper and her hand began to tremble, "How can this be? Why didn't they? Why didn't Grandpa tell me?" Tears trickled as her control faltered.
Harm was at a loss for words. He was two and zero for the night and things were not looking good for him saying anything positive now.
"I was somebody's mistake! Somebody didn't want me so my parents felt sorry for me and took me in," Mattie blurted out before throwing the adoption document down and running from the office out of the hanger and down the airstrip.
"Damn," Harm whispered to himself as he got up and ran after the distraught teen.
He found her at the end of the dark airstrip lying on her back looking up at the starlit sky sobbing silently.
"Go away!"
Harm sat down next to her and stretched out looking up into the same dark sky.
"I said go away!"
Harm didn't say anything, but just continued to cast an occasional look in her direction as she cried.
"What have I done that's so bad?"
Harm remained silent.
"I mean think about it...the only parents I really knew were killed...then my grandpa died and now I find out my real mother and father didn't even want me. I was some f-ing mistake! IT'S NOT FAIR GOD!" she screamed at the heavens. "WHEN DO I GET A BREAK?" Her hands came over her face, and she sobbed so painfully that Harm pulled her into his arms and held her. She grasped his jacket and continued to sob on his shoulder as he stroked her hair.
Once all the raw emotion was purged, they continued to lie on the end of the airstrip looking at the bright starlit night, "I don't usually cry," Mattie confessed quietly.
"Maybe you should. I understand it's a great way to relieve tension," Harm replied.
"What do you do when you can't take it anymore?" Her voice sounded exhausted.
"I fly when I can. Sometimes I run. " He chuckled joylessly when he thought of the double meanings.
"What do you do when those don't work anymore?" Mattie sniffed and wiped her nose with her sleeve.
"I guess I just I just keep on trying to make things better and sometimes I just screw up," Harm replied quietly.
"At least you're not a mistake," Mattie rebutted with self-pity and bitterness in her tone.
"We should rename the company Mistakes and Screw-ups Aviation Inc. Brings a whole new meaning to truth in advertising doesn't it?" Harm said sarcastically.
"Yea! I can see the customers lining up now. We'd be turning them away!" Mattie answered with equal sarcasm.
"We could get t-shirts printed to give out." Harm used his hands to illustrate his point. "I flew with a Screw up or A Mistake with every flight."
Mattie began to giggle, "Our motto, all dangerous chemicals sprayed on your crops are handled by mistake!"
"Every Crop dusted by a Screw up!" Harm laughed as Mattie's laughter became contagious.
"We could get some business cards printed with crashed airplanes," Mattie was rolling on the ground.
"Not crashed, just hard landings!" Harm added with a smile.
"Yea right!" Mattie grinned.
"It's getting cold. You ready to go inside?" Harm stopped laughing and offered a hand to Mattie.
"Yea, and Harm thanks."
"Anytime, partner."
The two walked towards the hanger in silence.
"I'll see you in a couple of days. Are you going to be alright?" Harm asked.
"Yea, I'm a survivor." She smiled mischievously and added, "Hey, and I don't even have to eat worms or bugs...another TV show...never mine." She dismissed as she noted his blank expression.
Harm then smiled and gave her a hug, "I'll take care of this." He picked up the documents and started towards the door.
"Harm, can you help me find them?"
"Your birth parents?"
"Yea."
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
"You had to find out the truth about your father. I need to find out about my parents."
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