Author: Nancy
Disclaimer: JAG and characters do not belong to me.
Category: Harm/other Harm/Mac Drama Romance
Rating: PG-13
Summary: An accident leaves Harm lost and presumed dead. Post Adrift.
PART 3
December 25
Acute Care Unit
South Louisiana State Mental Hospital
Mandeville, Louisiana
The majority of the patients were up in the common room where a large Christmas tree with tiny white lights stood in a corner. Family members had come and gone most of the day to see recovering relatives. John R. sat in a corner alone. The staff had tried to coax him into joining the others to share music and refreshments, but he begged off stating he had a headache. He was having overwhelming feelings of loss and sadness that he couldn't explain. For the past two weeks he had met with his psychologist with no luck. Each passing day reinforced his fears that he had no one looking for him...no one who cared.
Christine Tan and her daughter Janet got out of her car and walked towards the building where John was assigned. Christine couldn't seem to get his sad haunted look out of her mind so she decided to drop by and take him a gift and some homemade Christmas cookies that Janet helped decorate. He mother lived just outside Mandeville in Covington so it really wasn't out of her way she rationalized. Five year-old Janet asked her mother repeatedly to tell her about the man they had baked cookies for. "Honey, he is just like us, but he is having some difficulties thinking clearly so he is at this hospital where they can help him."
"He doesn't have a family?" Janet's deep brown eyes were round and sad. Like her mother she was a little too tender hearted at times. The five year old would often come home without a jacket or hungry from missing lunch because she thought someone else needed them more. Christine stayed at Charity Hospital for that very reason. She had offers from private practice groups that would have enabled her to afford more of the luxuries for Janet and herself, but decided they did okay on her salary from Charity besides her patients needed her more.
They found him alone in a corner of the activity room staring out of the window. "John?" Christine approached slowly.
He turned and looked at her as if trying to determine who she was. The last time he had seen her she was wearing dark maroon scrubs, a lab coat and a look of exhaustion. Today she wore a Christmas sweater with snowmen and black slacks that revealed her shapely figure. Her hair was styled and she wore just enough makeup to give her color. The small jingle bell earrings that finished off her holiday look were a Christmas gift from Janet.
"Remember me, Dr. Tan from Charity Hospital? This is my daughter Janet." She tried to avoid being overly warm and friendly to decrease any suspiciousness he may be experiencing.
"Yes, of course I remember you. You just look different." He smiled slightly.
Christine found her heart beating like a teenager experiencing a crush on a guy for the first time. He was incredibly handsome. His smile though half hearted made her forget momentarily what she was about to say. He waited patiently for her to continue while Janet tugged gently at her mother's elbow.
"Oh, ah, that is, we were going to my mother's for Christmas and thought you would like a little company." Christine felt her face blush as she stammered.
"We baked you some Christmas cookies, and I helped decorate them!" Janet could restrain herself no longer and handed him a box decorated with Christmas stickers.
He turned so he could face the freckled faced little girl who would probably grow up to be a carbon copy of her mom. He took the box and opened it. "These are my favorite."
She smiled proudly. "Mine too. They are called snickerdoodles. I don't know why, they don't have Snickers in them, but they do have cinnamon sugar on them. I put the sprinkles on them all by myself."
The aroma of cinnamon caught his attention and took him for an instant to a kitchen with cookies coming out of the oven. An older woman smiled at him and the memory dissolved away.
"John? Are you alright?" Christine watched, as he seemed to have been lost in thought.
"I'm fine. These cookies are just great." He tried to smile for Janet.
"My mom bought you a present. It's a surprise jacket." Janet announced excitedly.
Christine giggled, "I guess it's not much of a surprise anymore."
John grinned feeling a little embarrassed by the attention and opened the package and held up a bomber style jacket. His smile faded as feelings of pride swelled up from somewhere deep inside. In a brief flash of memory, he could see himself wearing a similar jacket.
"John? Are you sure you are feeling all right? The nurses said you've been having more headaches today and last night." Christine sounded concerned.
"I guess I'm just a little down about the holidays." He flashed her a quick smile that failed to cover his sadness.
She wished she could get an honest to goodness smile from him. "That's understandable."
He looked up and tried another small smile, "Thanks for coming by and thanks for the gifts. I wish I had something for you. The jacket is great. I think I would have picked one out just like this for myself."
"Do you like to ride motorcycles? Guys that ride motorcycles wear jackets like this one." Janet's eyes grew round as she talked animatedly.
John became very thoughtful and then shook his head, "I don't think so, but I'm not sure Janet. But that was a great idea." He answered. For a moment the conversation stopped followed by an awkward silence.
"How are things going with Jeff?" Christine had talked with the staff psychologist earlier in the week, but wanted John's perspective.
"We talk about these feelings I've been having, but I can't blame them on my mother or anyone because I don't remember anyone." He laughed sarcastically. "Jeff thinks I need to start making plans for myself in case my memory doesn't return." John added more seriously.
"That may not be such a bad idea." Christine agreed. John didn't respond. "Well I guess I need to get to Janet's grandmother's. She's expecting us for dinner."
A flash of an elderly woman wearing an apron and standing in a kitchen flashed again for a second in John's mind. "Merry Christmas and thanks for coming by."
Before Christine could restrain Janet she rushed up and gave John a big hug and a kiss on his cheek. "Merry Christmas Mr. John." She then turned and skipped towards the door where her mother stood.
John reached up and touched his cheek. His face drew into a painful expression as a vision of a little dark skinned girl lay brutally beaten on a restroom floor flashed in his mind.
Christine's dark eyes flickered with concern as she watched his emotions change. Reluctantly she guided Janet towards the exit passing the decorated Christmas tree in the activity room. Janet turned and waved before shutting the door behind her.
John returned a goodbye wave as another memory flashed of a woman sitting next to a Christmas tree crying while two men in uniform left the house. Who were these people that left him feeling such deep sorrow?
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