Author: Nancy
Disclaimer: JAG and its characters do not belong to me so this effort
is not for monetary gain, just
for my own pleasure and perhaps a few who like to read about my
favorite show.
Classification: Harm and Mac Romance/Drama
Rating: PG
Summary: How many times can Mac deal with saying goodbye to Harm?
Will this be their last goodbye? This contains some of the current
events of the times. This was written October 2001.
PART 3
Mac and Sturgis returned to JAG headquarters around 1600. Mac had just put her briefcase down when Lt. Singer entered. "Colonel?"
"Lt. Singer?"
"Here arethe Jessup brief and the Kovac file."
"Thanks, but Commander Rabb has been assigned the Kovac case." Mac started to return the file.
"Oh, I guess you haven't heard. The Commander was called to active flight duty. He left out of Andrews at 1400 today." Singer's voice conveyed her pleasure at being the bearer of unhappy news.
"What are you talking about? The Commander is on reserve flight duty." Mac was clearly shocked by the information.
"By the way, the Admiral said he wanted to see you and Commander Turner as soon as you returned." She added with an artificial smile.
Mac met Sturgis in the Admiral's office. "I wanted to let you know that Commander Rabb was called to active flight duty aboard the Patrick Henry this afternoon. There was an outbreak of flu and half of the flight squadron had to be replaced."
"Nevertheless, Sir, JAG has had to call in reserves of our own. Why would the Commander be called when he is needed here?" Mac's tone was frustrated.
The Admiral paused at her comment. "The Commander was ordered by naval operations, Colonel."
"But didn't you tell them that we are short handed?" Mac challenged bringing raised eyebrows from Sturgis and a cool look from the Admiral.
"Colonel, Naval operations doesn't tell me how to conduct an investigation and a court martial and I don't tell them how conduct an air strike." The Admiral replied tersely.
"I'm sorry Sir." Mac drew up to attention.
"At ease Colonel, we all have to do what we have to in times of war. You two will be picking up most of the Commander's caseload. Is there a problem with this?" The Admiral looked from one officer to the other.
"No Sir." Sturgis and Mac replied simultaneously.
Mac stormed back to her office and shut the door and her blinds behind her. "Damn!" She then noticed the envelope on her desk. Recognizing Harm's writing she tore it open and read the brief message. "Rain check. He's always wanting a rain check." She muttered. The soft tingling of the wind chimes drew her attention away from the letter. The sun rays reflected through the crystal chimes danced irratically across her desk. She suddenly felt surrounded by his presence.
Two weeks turned to six weeks and Harm's immediate return seemed to be less likely. He emailed Mac, Bud, Sturgis and the Admiral as often as he could, but they could tell by the reports the Admiral received that the carrier group was extremely busy. Snail mail was banded due to continued threats of contamination, and the email system was either down or slow due to the congested traffic or the security black outs.
Harm was finally able to make one phone call back to headquarters. He hoped to catch Mac in, but was disappointed to find she was at Quatico for the day. "Admiral, it looks like I may be here for the whole six month deployment."
"I received word from Admiral Holland yesterday that they wanted to keep you on the line." The Admiral replied.
"Seems the Captain and the CAG like the idea of having a legal weenie as part of the air group." Harm chuckled.
"I could have told them that. Hell we are not only fighting a military war but a political-legal one as well. Before this is all over, they will probably require a JAG on every carrier, destroyer and frigate." The Admiral snorted.
"Right now they just have one on a tomcat." Harm replied. "By the way Sir, how is Bud and Harriet?"
"Fine, the Colonel is giving everyone hell around here. She seems to be in a chronic state of PMS as one of the other officers so eloquently put it."
Harm chuckled, "So she's giving Singer and Turner a run for their money?"
The Admiral laughed and then became serious, "How are you Commander?"
"Tired, I'm getting too old for this. The youngsters have energy to spare and all I ever think about is when I may be able to get some rack time."
"I here ya. Hang in there Harm. I'll pass your inquiries on to the Roberts and Mac."
"Thanks." The line went dead. The Admiral realized Harm was gone for the duration. Admiral Holland had made it clear that Harm was going to stay a line officer and receive a promotion to Captain in the next few weeks. He would be the new CAG for the Patrick Henry.
When the Admiral announced that Harm received a promotion and a new position everyone seemed impressed and happy except for Mac who looked neutral.
The Admiral had tried to stay out of their relationship. "Mac would you stay a minute."
Everyone filed out as Mac remained seated, "I sense you are not happy with the direction Commander Rabb's career has taken."
"Sir, the Commander's career is none of my business." She answered flatly.
"I see." The Admiral started to comment but stopped. "I needed someone to take over the office at Pearl. Captain Parks will be out for a while on medical leave. I'm not sure when he will be able to resume his duties. I would like you to take the position."
Mac smiled at her CO's offer, "I'm flattered, that you would think me capable of running the office."
"Mac, you always seem to underestimate your abilities. This is a temporary assignment, but will definitely help your career. I will need you out there within the week."
"Yes sir."
Harm attempted to call for the third time only to receive her answering machine and it cut off as soon as her message that she was not home completed. He finally had leave in Spain and had tried to reach her over the past few hours. He finally called JAG headquarters and found that she was TDA to Pearl Harbor. He tried to reach her there only to be told by the yeoman that she was unavailable.
In another month, he would return to Norfolk for a few months before they would leave again. He sat down and wrote her a letter, hoping she would read it.
Dear Sarah,
I love you. There I said it. Now do I have your attention?
I realize that my returning to active flight duty was not one of your
top ten ways for me to show you how much, I care. This temporary
assignment became a permanent one before I even realized what
was happening. But I'm not going to make excuses. Yes I wanted
this. I feel like I am making a difference. I can actively protect
that which I hold most dear. You, Mom, Grandma, Bud, Harriet
AJ, my country just to begin the list. I also realize that being at
JAG I made a difference, but right now with this real threat to the
US, I want to look the enemy in the eye and say, "No more."
Granted it is kind of hard when you are flying at 500 miles per
hour, but I think you get the picture.
They guys in my squadron are just kids! I don't have the
flight
experience that the other CAG's have, but I do have some experiences
that
they don't have. I have survived a ramp strike, being shot down by a
MIG and a night in the cold ocean. These
kids pretend that they are fearless, but they are scared. You know
all that arrogance that you see in aviators, it is really just a
defense
mechanism. They know about my failures and the irony is
they seem to respect me for it. Maybe its because I have failed, but I
got back up. Maybe that's something I need to prove to myself.
I have also failed those that have loved me the most.
I wish I could just pick up the pieces and say I'm sorry, but
that never seems to work,but that is all I can do Sarah. I love you,
and I dream about a day where we could be together. I will
be back in DC on the 13th of next month. If you want to try
to make a go of it, meet me at the Parker House at 1900. If you
don't show I will understand.
Love always,
Harm
At first Mac crumpled up the letter and started to through it in the trash. "Why do you always put me second." She ranted to herself, "You think you can just say, 'I'm sorry' and make everything alright. Why do I always have to stand in line?"
She paced around her living quarters. Her travel bags packed and ready to return to Washington. She looked at the wad of paper in her hand and opened it smoothing all the wrinkles away. Tears dropped on the ink causing it to smear the words. "Because I love you too Harm."
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