Author: Nancy
Disclaimer: Don't own JAG or characters. This is just for fun.
Classification: PG-13
Category: Humor
Summary: I just couldn't pass up the chance to do a little tongue in
cheek humor with the amnesia. This is just for fun...
After spending months adrift in cold north Atlantic, Harm is finally rescued by a guy on a jet ski...everyone waits anxiously in the waiting area outside Harm's ICU room.
Two cases of kleenex later, Mac still wearing that sightly crumpled cute light yellow two piece ensemble from her rehearsal dinner, paces frantically in the hall. She thinks of all the things she should have told Harm, 'I told you, you might not make it back in time for my wedding! But do you ever listen, hell no!'
Bud and Harriet hold tightly to little AJ who is now ready to start first grade while the Admiral checks his watch impatiently. 'I wonder when those damn doctors will let us see him. My staff has been away from the office for months and the secnav is not a happy camper.'
Mic and Chloe have made a quick beer, I mean coffee run and are not with the crowd. Renee however stands by the door so that she will be the first in the room when the doctors admit them. 'I just knew something would screw up this wedding...I just knew it.' She says over and over to herself.
The doctor finally opens the door, he shakes his head sadly. Everyone gasps, "He's...dead?" Bud voices the unspeakable. Renee screams and faints on the floor. Mac bites down so hard on her fist that blood drips on her crumpled cute light yellow two piece outfit.
Harriet jumps up to assist her friend,"Oh Mac, it will be alright, I have one of those little Shout wipey things in my purse."
The Admiral shakes his head, 'Dammit Rabb, who am I going to make fun of now that you aren't here. I really enjoyed the gun in the courtroom dig.'
"Wait a minute people, I didn't say that. Commander Rabb is very much alive and should be around at least two more seasons. However, the cold water did affect him. The circulation to his brain was slowed so he has experienced some amnesia." The doctor in his spiffy green scrubs with his neat stethoscope explained.
"Thank God!" Bud says dramatically. "Can we see him?"
"Yes, but remember he probably won't remember you." The doctor adds.
"I think we can remember that doctor." AJ replies.
The group minus Renee who is still out cold on the floor of the waiting room rush into the room to find their coworker and friend shivering under an electric blanket.
The group stands waiting for a response..."Who are you?" Harm croaks. Being in the water made him sound like a frog.
A small gasp could be heard from the group. "He doesn't remember us." Bud voices the unspeakable again.
"I told the doctor we would remember he wouldn't remember us. Remember Mr. Roberts." AJ replies irritably.
Bud walks over to Harm and lays a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "I'm Bud Roberts. I work with you at JAG. You are my mentor, and I beat you in court. By the way we are all lawyers except Harriet." Bud speaks very slowly and loudly.
Harm looks doubtfully towards the younger officer. "Do you have a speech problem?" He croaks again.
"Roberts for goodness sake he has amnesia not a hearing loss." The Admiral responds impatiently. "I'm Admiral A.J. Chegwidden, I'm your CO. You shot a gun off in my courtroom."
"So I'm a lawyer?"
"Yes son, in the Navy." AJ responds in a fatherly tone thankful he can still continue to make fun of the younger officer.
"What happened?" Harm speaks again and lays his head back looking really beat and slightly water logged.
"You were returning from completing your flying quals off the aircraft carrier Patrick Henry and crashed your tomcat in the ocean during a storm." Bud answers slowly and loudly.
"What is wrong with him?" Harm looks to the Admiral who shrugs.
"I thought you said I was a lawyer?" Harm looks to Bud.
"You are."
"But you just told me I was a pilot."
"First you were a pilot, then you were a lawyer, then you became a pilot again, but then you became a lawyer who just flies some of the time." Bud explains.
"Why do I do that?" Harm looks confused.
"I don't know." Bud replies.
"Why was I flying back in a storm?" Harm asks.
"You had a wedding to attend." Bud replies slowly.
"Was I getting married?" Harm asks.
"No Mac and Mic were getting married?" Bud again replies patiently.
"I was coming back in a storm to see two guys get married?"
Harriet couldn't stand it any longer. She had watched as Mac stood quietly in the corner of the room tears flowing freely and pooling in a puddle in the floor causing a potential hazard. "No Harm, you were returning to stop the wedding, because you secretly love Mac." She shifts little AJ to her other hip.
"I'm in love with a guy?" Harm's says weakly.
"I'M Mac. But you call me Sarah when you are really saying you love me." Mac suddenly confesses bringing about a quiet gasp from the others in the room.
'I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!' AJ thinks.
About that time Renee drags herself into the room. Her head is bleeding profusely from the fall. "Harm, don't believe her! You really love me. You want to marry me and have babies with me. We will name them stupid names, and they will all grow up to me movie stars!" She throws herself onto him and holds tightly.
"Who is that?" Harm frowns and pulls his electric blanket up as a shield.
"That's one of the many women you have slept with." Bud explains.
"Did I sleep with her too?" Harm points at Harriet.
"Did you?" Bud sounds shocked and looks to Harriet.
"No!" Harriet replies, "Maybe in your dreams." She adds with a wink.
"Did I sleep with Sarah Mac?" Harm looks hopefully.
"No." Mac replies flatly and raises her eyebrow and does that funny thing with her mouth. Again there was a quiet gasp from the room.
"Damn." Harm replies disappointedly. "Who in the hell is Mic anyway?"
"He's the other arrogant bastard that used to work at JAG." AJ replies.
"Did you marry him?" Harm says afraid of the answer he would receive.
"No, I couldn't." Mac's eyes met his and holds them until they both have to blink and everyone else yawns and begins to fall asleep where they stand.
"Why not?" Harm asks, but before he receives an answer Mac turns and runs from the room. He watches her crumpled cute little light yellow two piece outfit fade from his sight.
"I don't know." Bud stand by his mentor and replies.
"She just needs some time alone, away from all of this. I think I'll send her to the Indian Ocean for a few weeks." AJ rubs his chin thoughtfully. "Let's go people. We have work to do!" He directs the group out of the room thinking,'I need to find some reliable help. I'll look through my files and find someone who has a more rediculous name than me.'
"Harm, I just wanted to let you know that I have always looked up to you, and you have taught me everything I know." He adds as the group slowly begins to leave the room.
"Of course you do, I'm taller than you, and you don't know anything." Harm replies and pulls Renee's fingernails out of his arms. "Hey guys, Bud, Admiral...you forgot something. Can you take her with you. Guys...I think there has to have been a mistake. I like the one in the crumpled cute little light yellow two piece outfit."
The end
