Author: Nancy
Disclaimer: JAG and company do not belong to me. I make no money from
this, just a few friends.
Classification: PG-13
Category: Humor
Summary: This is another of the Commercial series. Just a little fun
using another one of my favorite commercials.
Written 1/2002
The TV monitors in the JAG bullpen were again displaying the military activities in Afghanistan. F-14s took off from a carrier somewhere in the Aegean Sea to carry out strategic attacks against the terrorist groups in the area. Those most caught up in watching the unfolding events were Commander Harmon Rabb and Petty Officer Jason Tiner.
"I wonder if Gunny is part of the action?" Tiner commented while his gaze remained glued to the TV screen.
"I heard his company will be deployed next week." Harm sighed wistfully and forced himself to return to his office to complete necessary documentation before his case files could be put to rest. Another deep sigh escaped as he picked up a folder off the top of the pile.
Sarah Mackenzie observed her friend watch the news report with fascination and longing as the tomcats shot off the carrier leaving a trail of steam off the deck. She understood that part of him would always want to be in a cockpit instead of in the courtroom. Lately he seemed more morose and frustrated, but he never mentioned what was going on in that stubborn head of his.
"Penny for your thoughts Colonel." Harriet approached the attractive Marine colonel.
"I was just watching Harm. He looks like a little kid who had to sit on the bench instead of getting to start the game." Mac said sympathetically.
Harriet gazed towards Harm's office and saw the same rather pitiful look. "Yea, I see what you mean."
"I wish there was something I could do to help him realize that he is important and doing his part." Mac sighed.
"He feels like a legal weenie." Harriet commented.
Mac giggled. "Yea, I think so."
"When Bud gets to feeling that way I sing him the hotdog song." Harriet smiled conspiratorially.
"The hotdog song?" Mac looked confused.
Harriet gestured for them to retreat into Mac's office.
A few minutes later, Mac tapped on Harm's door; "You look pretty depressed there Sailor. Do you need to talk about something?" She offered as she closed the door behind her.
He looked up and gave her a joyless smile. "I'm okay, just swamped with all of this endless paperwork. Sometimes I feel like this job is one big paper chase." He tapped his pen on his desk and shook his head in frustration.
"It's hard to keep your mind on your work when your heart is somewhere else." Mac replied.
Harm's eyes met hers; "I'm that easy to read?"
"I've just known you forever. Don't worry, I'm not going to give you a pep talk." Mac smiled, stood up and walked over to close the blinds to his office. "But I do have a little song I'd like to sing."
Harm watched her suspiciously with a hesitant smile as she walked around his desk and placed a hand on each of his armrests. She then began to sing a familiar commercial ditty.
"I'm glad you are a Judge Advocate weenie
That is truly what I want you to beeee
Cause since you are a Judge Advocate weenie
You forever will be loved by me"
A slow large grin followed by a nervous chuckle came from the shocked Flyboy.
********
Admiral Chegwidden buzzed his yeoman, Jason Tiner. "Tiner please have Rabb and Mackenzie come into my office."
"Sir I think they went to lunch."
The Admiral tossed down his glasses and headed out into the bullpen where he intercepted Lt. Sims and Commander Turner. "Lt. Sims, where in the hell, are Rabb and Mackenzie?"
"Sir, like Tiner said. They went to lunch." Harriet explained trying to think of a good cover for her friends who were AWL. "I think they were really hungry Sir."
"I don't think they will be long. I heard them mention something about going for a quick lunch or a hotdog." Turner added flatly. 'Maybe it was a quickie?' He thought. 'No, I must have misunderstood.'
"But its 0900 for gods sake!" The Admiral replied in exasperation and returned to his office.
Harriet turned to Sturgis Turner and said emphatically, "Sir, the eagle has landed!"
Turner looked confused at first and then smiled broadly. "Well it's about time. Maybe that will take care of some of the tension around here."
Harriet strolled towards her husband's office to share her latest scuttlebutt humming the 'hotdog song.'
"I'm glad I married a Judge Advocate Weenie,
That is who is really meant for meeee
Cause since I married a Judge Advocate Weenie,
Everyone is now happy as can be!"
The end
"You mean all I had to do was sing to you Flyboy?"
"I think it was your timing...you have really incredible timing Ninja Girl."
"I'll add that to the list of other things you said were incredible."
"You are sooo bad."
