Author: Nancy
Disclaimer: JAG etc doesn't belong to me.
Classification: Everyone
Category: Humor
Summary: Another little satire.
Lt. Lauren Singer, Lt. Harriet Sims and Lt. Colonel Mac Mackenzie sat outside JAG headquarters enjoying a spectacular autumn day. The weather, clear and cool, had drawn most of the staff outside for lunch.
"I'm glad everything seems to be settling down back to normal." Harriet signed as she finished the last bite of her sandwich.
"Whatever normal is." Mac chuckled as she watched Tiner and Gunny walking from the parking lot towards the entrance arguing about something as they went.
Lauren seemed to be daydreaming and ignoring the comments made by the other two officers. "Briefs, definitely briefs."
Harriet and Mac shared a confused look. "Excuse me Lt.? Is there a case you would like to discuss?" Mac spoke up interrupting Lauren's reverie.
"Oh, no. Have you ever seen that commercial where the two women are trying to guess what type of underwear these guys have on?" Lauren turned and looked questioningly at the other two women.
Harriet and Mac smiled and looked at the two young enlisted men's sixes as they passed. "I don't know. Gunny is so gun ho Marine. Don't you imagine he would wear the standard boxer BVDs." Harriet seemed to be studying his six more than Tiner's.
"Are you saying Marines only wear boxers?" Mac chuckled and acted dismayed. "I have you know there are several styles allowed! Frankly I think Gunny is more of a briefs man."
"So briefs win over boxers, here comes the Admiral. Register your vote." Lauren whispered.
"Boxers." Harriet said while nodding her head.
"Boxers." Mac agreed.
"Boxers with little Popeyes on them. It's unanimous." Lauren whispered as the Admiral approached.
"Nice day. It so cool." The Admiral commented and flashed a small smile.
The three women looked at each other and mumbled an awkward agreement. The Admiral looked a little suspicious, but nodded and continued on into the building.
"I'll never be able to look at the Admiral without seeing him in his Popeye boxers." Harriet snorted as soon as he walked away.
Bud was the next man who strolled past the panel. He looked up and smiled, "I've got to go to Norfolk tonight." Harriet returned an odd smile. "Is everything alright?" Bud frowned and looked at each of the three women.
"We're just enjoying the beautiful fall scenery." Harriet replied quickly causing Mac to choke on her soda.
Bud smiled back, "Yes it certainly is! I hope you all continue to enjoy yourselves." He continued on his way with Lauren straining to get a good look at his six.
"Harriet can't vote." Lauren said. "Boxers."
"Briefs." Mac countered and both women looked to Harriet.
"I'll never tell, but there is definitely no Popeyes. Now Scooby Do is another matter. I'm just out here enjoying the view!" Harriet said with a raised eyebrow bringing about more laughter.
"Oh my goodness! It's the SecNav!" Harriet added cringing as she looked to the other women and burst out into giggles. He walked by briskly without so much as a hello.
"Whatever he wears I think he could use a larger size. They most certainly are riding up his..." Lauren's dry statement was cut short by Mac's.
"Thank you for that lovely thought." Mac said and rubbed tears of laughter from her eyes. "I think its time to go inside."
"Wait! One more!" Lauren grinned wickedly. Harriet and Mac both followed her gaze and spotted Harm sauntering down the sidewalk.
"Briefs." Harriet spoke up first as Harm looked their way giving them a large flyboy smile. Just before he entered the building, he stopped and placed one foot on a large brick planter and bent over to tie his shoe.
Lauren stretched her neck to get a better view as did Harriet and Mac.
"I was thinking about another style." Lauren grinned evilly at the other two women, "Definitely b..."
"Buff." Mac finished. Harriet's mouth dropped open in a screech.
"Did I just say that out loud?" Mac groaned.
"Actually I was going to say bikini." Lauren said with a touch of sarcasm. "Gee Colonel, your face is turning red."
Harm heard the sound of three women burst into a fit of giggles and turned around giving them a confused glare.
Meanwhile Gunny and Tiner stood looking out the window from the second story watching the three women officers.
"I wonder what they are talking about?" Gunny murmured.
"I think they were talking about a court case." Tiner replied innocently. "I thought I overheard someone mention a brief."
Bud walked over to see what the two men where watching and added, "No I think they were talking about the boxing event that was playing on Showtime. They were talking about the boxers." Bud smiled.
"Briefs or boxers?" Gunny turned and looked at his companions with an amused expression. He was met by two equally blank expressions.
"Those two wouldn't get it if it were delivered by UPS." Gunny muttered to himself with a sly smile. "And actually it's thongs."
The end
