Author: NancyT
Disclaimer: JAG and characters do not belong to me.
Classification: PG-13 Violence/Language
Category: Drama
Summary: This occurs post season eight with spoilers for Tangled Webb
parts 1 and 2. After Harm takes another career turn by joining forces
with the CIA and the darker forces, he has to deal with the person he
has become or always was. Warning no shippery stuff in this story and
if you think Mac walks on water...don't read this.
It had been nine months, four days, thirteen hours, and seventeen
minutes since Commander Harmon Rabb walked out of JAG headquarters on
terminal leave to find Colonel Sarah Mackenzie and Agent Clayton Webb
reported missing in action somewhere in Paraguay. He found them
both, although Webb was in rough shape. He and Mac managed to destroy
a stash of stinger missiles that some nasty terrorists had planned to
aim in our direction. They did crash an airplane in their escape, but
with the Rabb/Mackenzie luck, escaped serious injury. I guess some
things went on that I missed because the next thing I knew, my senior
officers weren't having much to do with one another, and I sure as
hell was not going to let him just stroll back into JAG. He wasn't a
team player. So Harm joined in league with the devil's own as I
referred to the CIA, and I haven't heard from him since. No one
speaks of him as if he committed some unpardonable sin. Maybe he did?
I worked special ops. You can do some damned despicable things. The
man fell off the face of the earth...CIA style.
***********
"Are you sure this is what you want Rabb?"
"No," the response was as bland as cooked white rice.
"Maybe you should..."
"Maybe I should get up off my ass and try going back," he laughed
without humor and picked up a cigarette.
"You know those aren't really good for your health," a lightly
sarcastic comment followed.
A small smile accompanied the raised eyebrow was his reply as he lit
the cigarette and drew in a long puff. The smile was sincere and rare
on the expressionless face.
"I'll arrange it...if you're going to indulge at least smoke
something with quality," I sighed and reached down into my briefcase
and brought out a box of Cuban hand wrapped cigars.
***********
Admiral A.J. Chegwidden stared frowning at the phone, he had just
finished a conversation with the Secretary of the Navy, "Yeomen have
Colonel Mackenzie, Commander Turner, Lieutenants Roberts and Sims
report to my office."
The officers filed in looking at one another wondering what was up
and why their CO appeared so disgruntled. A.J. stood looking out at
the snow-covered grounds surrounding JAG headquarters reviewing the
events that had occurred during the past months. He had married
Meredith, the Roberts had given birth to a healthy second child
another boy, James Kirk. Mac had buried herself in her work and had
and unsuccessful affair with Webb. Sturgis tried to be the balancing
force within the office. Tiner had completed his law degree and was
attending officer training school. Life was good at JAG headquarters.
Everything was peaceful.
"The reason I called you in here was to inform you that we are
getting another JAG officer in house as of tomorrow," he paused
watching the expressions.
"I'll be glad to show the officer around Sir!" Lieutenant Harriet
Sims quickly volunteered.
"Sir, will this be a junior officer or will you need my office?" Bud
asked, "Because I really don't mind using the smaller office again."
"You mean the storage closet?" Mac teased.
"No sir." Bud blushed.
"Now remember, I'm not opposed to smaller quarters. They remind me of
my bubblehead days," Sturgis winked.
The Admiral smiled at the easy rapport between his people and thought
how his news would change that.
"Actually, he knows the place fairly well, but may need some
assistance getting back up to speed. Commander Rabb will be returning
tomorrow," he stated without fanfare.
The room became mausoleum quiet until Sturgis finally spoke up, "I
understood that Harm, Commander Rabb resigned his commission to join
the ranks of the CIA? Was I misinformed?"
The others eyed the Admiral intently waiting for his reply.
Folding his arms across his chest the Admiral drew in a deep
breath, "I was under the same assumption as you all. I was called by
the SECNAV and told that the Commander's services in the CIA were
completed, and that he would be returning to the Navy and JAG. No
further explanations were given, and I was not to expect any.
Therefore, I'm afraid that if you have any questions I can't answer
them. You are all dismissed and Mister Roberts, you will not be
expected to give up your office. The Commander will make due with the
smaller quarters."
"Colonel, if you could stay a minute," A.J requested as the other
bewildered officers filed out of the room.
The door shut and the Admiral looked at his chief of staff who seemed
to be struggling with her emotions, "Okay Mac, let's have it."
"Sir, how can he just waltz out and waltz in anytime he wants. He
wants to fly tomcats, he flies tomcats, receives a metal, comes home.
Decides he wants to play spy and then decides to come back! I thought
you did not want him back at JAG? I don't understand!" Mac's anger
was open but respectful.
"I didn't. I didn't have any input on this matter," the Admiral
leaned back against his desk and watched the angry Marine officer he
had come to respect as a friend. "When he left here to go find you
and Webb. I though...hell Mac he was willing to give up everything
for you and the next thing I know you and he came back at odds. I
warned him then. He knew the consequences. I don't know why he wants
to come back. What the hell happened anyway?"
Mac sighed and closed her eyes, "Everything got so mixed up down
there. He thought that Clayton and I had something going on, and I
really didn't do anything to deny it because maybe... Harm was
jealous. I got the impression that the company put some pressure on
Harm to help them finish up business, and he just was sucked in," she
shook her head and frowned. "You know Harm, and his superman syndrome
always the hero. He said Sedeac would eventually track us down and
try to kill us anyway."
"Well, he's going to be back. Are you going to be able to handle it?
We've had some pretty peaceful months, and I'm not so sure I'm
looking forward to any disruptions in this department."
"I can handle it, Sir."
"Good, because if I see any problems. Commander Rabb will be
transferred to Iceland. I don't care what the SECNAV requests." AJ
smiled.
*************
"Do you think we ought to give Commander Rabb a welcome back party?"
Harriet asked Bud as they washed the last of their supper dishes.
"What do you mean by party? When you think about it the only people
still around are the Colonel, Commander Turner, the Admiral, you, and
I. Not much of a party. The Admiral and Colonel don't seem real happy
about his return at the moment."
"We could have a dinner party Friday night and invite just the ones
you mentioned to break the ice and rebuild relationships. I know he
will feel awkward returning and this will help him feel..."
"Welcome?" Bud smiled.
"Yea," Harriet smiled.
"It's been nearly a year since he's seen little AJ, and he hasn't
even seen Jimmy!" Bud got excited thinking about it.
**************
DAY 1
Harm frowned at the mirror as he adjusted his tie for the fifth time.
His uniform didn't feel right, didn't look right. This was a mistake.
He started to take it off, but his own words echoed in his head, "Get
off your ass and give it a try."
He picked up his cover and dusted off some imaginary lint, picked up
his brief case, keys and a couple of cigars and headed out the door.
One step at a time. One step at a time. He hated that mantra, but he
couldn't get it out of his head like a bad jingle from a commercial
that bounced around in his head.
The drive to JAG headquarters was on autopilot all the way through
the gate to the parking lot. He simply didn't think. Just turned on
the CD to some loud mindless music and turned off his thoughts
and 'walla' he arrived at his destination. Getting out of the
Corvette was another hurdle. He sat for fifteen minutes sucking on a
cigar in attempt to calm the electrical storm raging within when
another little voice said, 'You gonna sit here all day? Or are you
going to do something?'
He took one last long draw on the calming nicotine fix and tapped it
out saving the rest for later. Exiting the red sports car, he put on
his cover and winter uniform jacket smoothing away any wrinkles. His
hands were steady he noticed with a self satisfied appraisal. He
reached back in the vehicle for his briefcase and walked towards the
entrance...one step at a time...one step at a time...one step at a
time.
His blue eyes scanned his surroundings taking stock of every person
and every movement. The tension in his body increased as he moved
through the hallways where more people moved closer making it
difficult to maintain surveillance. He could feel his heart rate
increase pounding harder in his chest as he worked to keep his pace
slow and relaxed as he made his way towards the glass doors that
marked entry into the bullpen. Just a few more steps and he would be
there. One step at a time...one step at a time. His hand reached out
and pushed the medal handle open and the door pushed away to sounds
of clicking keyboards, ringing phones and office machines.
Instinctively, he scanned the room not sure what danger he was
searching for, but his senses were ever vigilant.
"Harm, welcome back buddy. It's good to see you," Sturgis Turner's
hand touching his arm startled him causing him to jerk away receiving
a concerned frown from his JAG friend. "Sorry Harm, I didn't mean to
startle you."
"Sturgis, good to see you. How have you been?" Harm gave a stiff
smile and extended his hand.
"Busy, glad to see you on board. We could sure use the help. The
Admiral's expecting you."
'I bet he is,'Harm nodded and looked towards the Admiral's
doorway, "I guess I shouldn't keep him waiting."
"Sir! It's good to see you!" Harriet Sims gushed ready to give the
tall handsome commander a quick hug when she noted he backed away
ever so slightly.
"Harriet, I guess I better see the Admiral," Harm replied haltingly
then smiled. "It's good to see you too," he added almost
apologetically.
"Why don't I take your brief case and cover for you Sir?" she offered
sweetly.
He hesitated and then turned them over to the junior officer. "I'll
put them at my desk until you return."
As he walked away Harriet frowned and looked to Sturgis. "That was
awkward."
"He needs some time. We all need some time to get used to each other
again. I remember when I first came here." Sturgis's gaze followed
Harm as he walked away from the pair.
************
Harm stood rigidly at attention while Admiral A.J. Chegwidden looked
at the file before him seemingly ignoring the officer standing before
him. Finally, after what seemed liked hours he grunted, "Well,
Commander Rabb, I see you returned to the Navy with full rank and
benefits. You must have pulled in some pretty good favors from high
up the food chain to have gotten you assigned here," he said without
sparing the sarcasm.
Harm didn't respond to the barb but remained silently staring at the
wall behind the admiral's desk.
"Well, since you know that this assignment is under less than
favorable circumstances I just want to make a few things perfectly
clear. I don't care who you know that got you here, you are under my
command and will answer to me and only me is that perfectly clear?"
"Yes Sir."
"If you at any point decide to play cowboy or your performance is
what I consider less than adequate you will be written up and out of
my command so fast that you just thought a Tomcat could move. Do you
understand?"
"Yes Sir."
"One more thing. If your return creates any problems with the staff,
I don't care whose fault, I will assume it is yours, and you will be
transferred out. Do I make my self clear?"
"Yes Sir."
"You are dismissed. You can have Lt. Roberts old office." Chegwidden
mumbled and returned to the documents he was studying before the
officer's entrance.
"Yes Sir," Harm responded like a broken record, turned and exited
without fanfare.
*********
Bud approached Harm and smiled warmly, "It's good to have to back
Commander."
"Thanks Lieutenant," Harm took the proffered hand and proceeded to
the small office he had been assigned never looking at his old office
or any of his former co workers as he proceeded to unpack the few
personal items he brought with him.
Petty Officer Coates soon arrived with an armload of files for Harm,
mostly cold cases and freedom of information acts. Harm nodded and
took them without comment and began to bury himself in the endless
paperchase.
"Are you going to eat at all today Sir?" Harriet Sim's voice
interrupted him after four or more hours passed.
Harm looked up surprised that it was already 1300. He stretched and
stood up. "I didn't realized what time it was."
"Would you like to join me for a late lunch Sir? Everyone else is in
court and ate early." Harriet smiled.
"You could have eaten with them Lieutenant," Harm continued to
stretch.
"Someone has to keep this place running." Harriet smiled
playfully. "Besides, I was hoping that my oldest son's godfather
would be available."
"How is AJ?" Harm smiled.
"He's great. I was afraid he would be jealous of Jimmy, but he is
really very protective. He's going to make a great big brother,"
Harriet grinned, "Would you like to see my latest pictures?"
"Sure, Jimmy? I should have asked earlier. How is the baby?" Harm
walked around the desk as Harriet pulled some pictures she was
holding behind her to show him.
"He looks just like AJ when he was little. I can't believe how much
AJ has grown." Harm shook his head.
"Yes Sir, he'll be five this May."
Harm looked sadly at the pictures and returned them to Harriet, "You
have a terrific family Harriet. You and Bud and two very smart
people."
"Why thank you Commander, most say how lucky we are."
"No, you've made some very good decisions and as a result you have
this very beautiful family. I'm happy for you. You both deserve it."
Harm smiled lightly the melancholy in his voice not concealed.
Harriet felt her eyes tear up, "We feel very blessed. How about
lunch?"
"I think I'll just skip lunch today. I have a lot of catching up.
Thanks for the offer." He smiled and sat back down picking up another
file.
"Sir?"
"Yes Lieutenant?"
"I really missed you."
**********
DAY TWO
Mac had carefully schooled her emotions so that she would be as
normal acting as possible. She had decided that she would not let his
presence control her emotions or actions. She had drawn that line in
Paraguay months ago and intended to stick by it. The Admiral had
stood by his decision only to be undermined by a higher political
power that had undoubtedly owed Harm a favor. She had done her best
at the time to convince the Admiral to let Harm return after they
returned from Paraguay, after all he had saved hers and Webb's lives,
but the Admiral would have none of it. In the end, it was for the
best. Now he was back. He was probably tired of playing secret agent
man. Well, he wasn't going to have her jumping through hoops!
She placed her things on her desk and scanned the department looking
for him. She wanted to spot him first. He was sitting in Bud's old
closet turned office working. The last person to use the office was
Singer. A chill ran through her when she realized the irony. Harm had
been accused of her murder now he was using her office. Singer would
be laughing in her grave. The great and mighty Harmon Rabb and been
demoted to using her lowly office.
Mac thought of her words to him in Paraguay, "You take the joy out of
life."
He looked up at that moment as she was staring at him. She caught a
momentary look of hurt before he glanced back to his task, "Things
are never gonna work out between us because we both want to be on top
and that is physically and emotionally impossible."
'Well Mackenzie, I guess we see who made it on top,' she thought
uncomfortably and walked towards her office to get ready for a long
day in court.
Sturgis Turner looked at the two files on his desk. Two cases up for
appeal. Both had been Commander Harmon Rabb's cases last year during
all the upheaval with Singer's murder investigation. Now the cases
were being reopened. That Harm had not been at his best last year was
an understatement. Sturgis sighed and walked over to the door and
knocked.
"Enter."
"Harm, I've got a couple of cases I need to talk over with you,"
Sturgis looked around the small quarters that lacked any sign of
personal décor.
Harm stopped and looked up more with suspicion than with
invitation, "Sure, have a seat, just move those files."
"They're a couple of your cases that are up on appeal actually. I'm
just trying to get a handle on them." Sturgis stated carefully.
"I see. May I see the files?" Harm took the folders and flipped
through the first stopping to read the notes he had made refreshing
his memory.
"The Alexander case. The corpsman was accused of wrongly
administering an anticoagulant drug at four times the dosage
contributing to the patient's cerebral bleed. I defended the corpsman
and managed to keep the corpsman out of Leavenworth. What was the
problem?"
"The corpsman claims the physician verbally ordered a higher than
normal dosage based on the patient's history of a valve replacement.
You failed to use this information in your defense."
"Sturgis, in medical malpractice cases the person administering a
harmful drug is always responsible. I reviewed the doctor's orders
sheet, and it was written that he ordered 5,000 units of Heparin
subcutaneously. The physician may have verbally ordered 20,000 units
subcutaneously, but that is not a standardized dosage by that route.
I checked. That corpsman should have questioned that order. The
dosage wouldn't even fit in a normal syringe. That would have made my
client look more irresponsible. I pointed out that it was a busy
morning, they were understaffed, and he made a mistake. I had to play
on my client's history of taking responsibility for his actions and
good care. He admitted to the error and chose to take the punishment.
Now he's appealing?"
"The corpsman has witnesses to the verbal order. The doctor was
culpable and should have been brought in on this Harm."
"The doctor was swamped. He followed the verbal order with a written
one, the correct order. The corpsman got in a hurry and didn't
recheck the order. He should have known better! If the attorney
starts trying to point fingers at the doctor, it will look like the
corpsman was not taking responsibility for his own action. As busy as
it was that morning, the witnesses were not 100%," Harm explained.
"The attorney is going to argue culpability on the physician's role
in the mishap. He will think he can get the sentence reduced."
Sturgis argued.
"Fine Sturgis. Take it to appeal, but the panel will clean his clock!
You just need to stand by the evidence that I defended the client.
What about the second case?" Harm replied irritably.
"I can see I'm not going to get any help from you Commander. I guess
I couldn't look more foolish than I did when Bud defended one of my
cases on appeal last year. Maybe if you would have been focusing on
your work than on other matters these cases wouldn't be coming back
to haunt us." Sturgis stood up and exited the small office angrily
almost bumping into the Admiral.
"Problems Commander?"
"None that I can't handle alone, Sir."
The Admiral cast a wary eye towards the small office where the black
sheep of his office worked and made a mental note to issue a warning.
***********
Mac politely turned down Harriet's dinner invitation saying she was
bogged down with several cases. "I see Ma'am. Do you think this is
the right thing to do?"
"What do you mean Harriet?" Mac replied looking bewildered.
"I realize it has been a little more than awkward around the office
since Commander Rabb has returned, but he here and don't you think
that we all need to do our best to try to make this transition
smooth?"
"As far as I can tell everyone seems to be getting their work done
without any difficulty. Commander Rabb has not voiced any complains
to me or anyone else about the working conditions that I'm aware. I
think that keeping our personal relationships separate from our
working relationships would be to every one's benefit," Mac explained
matter of factly.
"Do you really want to abide by that Ma'am?" Harriet looked at her
friend and ranking officer incredulously.
"Yes I do Harriet. It works for the best," Mac smiled and walked back
into her office.
"If you say so Ma'am," Harriet frowned in disbelief.
"Colonel Mackenzie turned you down too?" Bud asked knowing the answer
by the look on her face.
"Bud what has happened to this office? We used to care about one
another." Harriet's face clouded up and tears formed in her eyes. "Do
you know what the Colonel had the nerve to tell me? That we should
keep our personal relationships separate from our working
relationships."
"Well honey, I think what she means is that we can't go around
wearing our feelings on our shoulders or we couldn't get our work
done." Bud smiled gently at his wife as they talked in his office
with the door shut.
"Bud, you and I both know that to be a professional means that you
learn to put work first when you have too, but we are humans not
robots. You can't just turn off your feelings. We spend more time
with the people we work with than the most people spend with
families. In the military you become a surrogate family to one
another and can't help but care for them. Keeping personal
relationships separate from work relationships is a load of crap, and
we all know it. The Colonel's our son's godmother and the Commander
is his godfather. We named our first son after the Admiral. I could
go on and on. I can't stand what's happening to Commander Rabb. It's
like he's got a social disease! It's mean, and I hate it. I think
everyone needs to get a taste of their own medicine. If the Colonel,
the Admiral, Commander Turner want to keep their personal
relationships so separate from their working relationships then so be
it!"
"Harriet? I'm not so sure I like where this is going." Bud winced.
*********
DAY 3
The smell of homemade chocolate chip cookies still warm from the oven
penetrated every corner of JAG headquarters.
"What is that heavenly smell?" the Admiral groaned as he stepped out
of his office into the bullpen.
"I believe Lieutenant Sims baked," Petty Officer Coates replied.
"Well, I believe I could use a coffee break," the Admiral raised an
eyebrow and headed to the breakroom where several other JAG officers
were assembling drawn by the divine aroma.
"Good morning Sir," Mac greeted. "I believe the good Lieutenant has
been baking again."
"And by the bouquet it must be her prize winning chocolate pecan chip
cookies," Sturgis added with a smile.
Harriet met the three hungry officers at the small breakroom door
with a questioning look. "May I be of assistance Sirs, Ma'am?"
"Good morning Lieutenant, we were just enjoying this morning's
treat," Mac answered.
"I hope you put extra pecans in them," the Admiral added.
"I could eat them with or without pecans," Sturgis quipped.
"I really need to get that recipe from you Harriet," Mac said as she
looked around the blonde to see if she could spot the cookies.
"Don't give the recipe to Meredith, as much as I love her. How she
can manage to screw up a recipe, I'll never know."
"I'm sorry, Sirs, Ma'am, but I didn't bake cookies for the
department. I brought some for my lunch and to share with a friend. I
didn't bring any to share with coworkers. If you will excuse me."
Harriet smiled lightly, walked briskly to her desk. She immediately
set to work leaving three surprised and disappointed officers getting
coffee sans cookies.
When Bud joined the group to get coffee he was immediately
interrogated, "Bud, is Harriet upset about something?" Mac quizzed.
"Ma'am?" He replied with his deer in headlights look.
"She just seemed a little short. Not as friendly." Sturgis added.
"No," Bud replied.
"You two aren't having any problems with the new baby an all," the
Admiral asked.
"No Sir and Sir if you believe it is affecting Lieutenant Sim's
performance then you should really be talking with her instead of
me." Bud smiled and walked away clenching his teeth and rolling his
eyes hoping he didn't tick his CO off with his reply.
"What the hell," the Admiral muttered as the other two Senior JAG
officers exchanged equally confused looks.
**********
Commander Turner stood before the appeal court feeling the heat
around his collar as he defended Harm's case. His hand slipped into
his pocket and fingered the empty vial of Heparin 5000 units like one
of four the corpsman had used to inject his patient that morning.
Next to the vial was a standard subcutaneous syringe. It had the
capacity to hold only one of the vials such as the Heparin 5000
units. The corpsman would have either had to use four syringes or
take a five cc syringe and change the needle which was not common
practice. Either should have raised a red flag and made the corpsman
question the order.
He heard the corpsman's attorney bring out the arguments that he had
discussed with Harm. Harm's words echoed in his minds ears, and
Sturgis began to remind the panel of the corpsman's actions as Harm
had pointed out. Once the arguments had been heard, one of the
members of the panel nodded and spoke out, "I agree that the corpsman
received more than adequate defense. In fact, if this continues it
might be argued that the prosecution was inadequate. This panel votes
that the action of the court stands."
Sturgis flipped through the pages and noted that Mac had been the
prosecution for that trial.
He wandered into the bullpen later that evening when most of the
staff had left for the evening. The lights dimmed due to the lateness
of the hour, and he looked around to see the desk lamp in Harm's
office still on. Someone was in the office with him, and as Sturgis
was about to approach, his cell phone rang.
He decided to take the call in his office, and when he returned to
the bullpen Harm was gone along with his visitor.
*********
"So how's it going Rabb?"
"I think you were right."
"Wait a minute. You are agreeing with me? I can't believe I'm not
wearing a wire when I need it."
"Funny."
"Besides, I don't think I was right, so we are still disagreeing."
"You know you are so irritating sometimes."
"Only sometimes?"
"All the time."
"My mother thinks I'm special."
"So does mine."
"I hope no one tells them different."
"Why did you come by anyway?"
"Just being a friend."
"Why do I always feel suspicious when you come around?"
"I don't know? Is there a punch line to that question?"
********
DAY 4
Harm smiled a little warmer at Harriet as he entered the
bullpen, "The cookies were great, thanks Harriet."
"You are welcome Sir! I made blueberry muffins for coffee this
morning!" She called out as he pushed into his office and nodded.
"Did I hear we have muffins this morning Lieutenant?" The admiral's
deep voice resonated behind the blonde officer.
"Sorry sir, I didn't make muffins for the department. If you would
like, I could order some up from the commissary," she replied
politely.
"Oh, I just thought, never mind, could you come into my office
Lieutenant," the Admiral spoke softly.
"Yes Sir."
'Stand firm Lieutenant,' Harriet commanded inwardly.
"Sir?" She stood at attention.
"At ease Lieutenant, have a seat."
"Yes Sir."
The Admiral furrowed his eyebrows and looked intently at the young
woman. "Lieutenant are we having a problem that I should know about?"
"Sir, I'm not sure what you mean? Have you been unhappy with my work
at JAG?" Harriet's eyes rounded and she sat on edge of the chair.
"No Lieutenant, your work has been excellent. You seem to be a little
less personable as of late."
"Have I been rude or disrespectful Sir?" Harriet asked.
"No, you just haven't been yourself." The Admiral sighed.
"In what way Sir?" Harriet was beginning to enjoy herself.
"Normally you show concern and hospitality for everyone around you.
You like to share your...cookies and such." The Admiral suddenly felt
foolish for bringing up the cookie issue.
"Sir, are you angry because I didn't bake you any cookies? I
explained I didn't bake cookies for the department," Harriet
explained sweetly.
"Lieutenant, you did bake cookies for others in the department, and
you didn't share," the Admiral felt his anger spew.
"Oh, you are correct Sir. I baked them for my lunch, and I brought
some for Commander Rabb. I did wait until the end of the day to give
them to him as a thank you gift. Commander Rabb helped me change a
flat tire a couple of days ago after work. I offered to pay him, but
he wouldn't accept the money, so in trade for the work, I baked him
the cookies and the muffins. I thought it was nice of him to do that
for me, Sir. Do you have a problem with that?" Harriet watched her
CO's face blanch.
"No Lieutenant."
"Sir, you could order me to bake cookies for the department."
"No Lieutenant."
"Sir, would you like me to ask Commander Rabb to share his muffins
with you?"
"NO Lieutenant, you're dismissed."
"Hormones," the Admiral muttered as he shuffled papers on his desk.
**********
Day 5
"You ready to make a deal Commander?" Mac caught Sturgis as he headed
towards his office.
"Seaman Clark is a first class screw up from the get go Mac. What
kind of deal is there to make?" Sturgis asked as the two walked
towards the elevators ignoring Harm as they continued their
bargaining.
"Let him put in some brig time and dishonorable discharge, he's just
a kid," Mac gave Sturgis that pleading look Harm remembered her using
on him.
"That kid broke Chief Scott's jaw in two places. He's got a temper.
I'm surprised he didn't wash out in basic a year ago. His record is
already full of warnings. The kid was a time bomb. The best I can do
is two years in confinement and dishonorable discharge."
"Did anyone do a psych eval on the kid?"
A deep sigh preceded Mac's response, "Commander Rabb, good morning,
no psych eval was indicated. Not that your opinion was requested. He
went through a thorough medical evaluation less than a year ago. He
and his chief just didn't get along, and he hit him. Now he has to
pay the consequences."
"Confinement may help teach the kid some self control," Sturgis added
ignoring Harm.
"Or it may teach him how to be a criminal," Harm pushed his point.
"Harm, you don't even know what this case is all about, would you
just please butt out!" Mac snapped angrily.
"I know a lot more than you think," Harm muttered coldly and walked
away.
"Let's meet with my client this afternoon," Mac replied.
Mac followed Harm to his office and closed the door, "Commander, from
now on I would appreciate it if you refrained from commenting on my
cases unless you are asked!"
"Forgive me Colonel Mackenzie, I didn't realize that you had risen to
the status of Saint in her own time since I'd left. I guess no one
dares contradict you now? Do you even think to doubt yourself at
times Mac? Because we all make mistakes?" His voice started out loud
and challenging but softened as he finished.
"You're still jealous aren't you Harm. Still fighting to see whose on
top. You can't handle it when you screw up and someone else does
better than you...especially me." Her anger was overwhelming her, and
she wasn't sure where it was coming from.
His eyes that had been so angry before looked almost dead. "I'm
jealous alright, but not of the things you think I am. I don't give a
rat's ass about being on top of anything and if you think that's all
that's important then I feel nothing but pity for you Sarah
Mackenzie."
"I don't want you to feel anything for me Harmon Rabb. I thought I
made that clear," she added as she slammed the door behind her.
Within a few minutes Petty Officer Coates stood meekly at Harm's
door, "Commander, the Admiral would like to see you ASAP."
Harm looked around his bleak surroundings and picked up his brief
case and started throwing his few personal things into the
case. 'This was a huge mistake.' His phone rang and he picked it up
hoping to end the conversation quickly. "Rabb."
"I was in the area and thought I would drop by," the familiar voice
spoke.
"Now's not a good time, why don't I just meet you for some
drinks...lots of drinks and you can buy."
"What happened?"
"This was a stupid idea. I've got to meet with the Admiral and have
my ass chewed out again. Then I'm out of here." Harm felt around in
his pocket for his cigar and lighter. He wanted to go out a smoke
before he met with the Admiral.
********
Mac stomped into the conference room where her young client waited.
She willed her emotions under control, and Sturgis soon joined them.
She presented the deal that Sturgis was willing to make and watched
as her client's face clouded up in frustration, "Colonel, I thought
you said I wouldn't get any confinement. You said I would be
discharged, but not put away?"
"Seaman, I said I hoped for no confinement, but you assaulted the
chief and because of that you will do some brig time," Mac explained
gently. "This is a good deal because if we go to trial there is a
real possibility of longer brig time possibly up to ten years."
"I can't do brig time. I told you I can't do brig time!"
*********
"Commander, I told you that if there were any problems with personnel
due to your presence then you would be transferred out of this
office. I am putting you on suspension as of now, and you will be
transferred to another location to be arranged. You are dismissed!"
Harm didn't say a word, but just turned and exited the Admiral's
office.
Harriet watched and followed as he grabbed his briefcase and headed
towards the hallway. "Sir wait!"
"Harriet, I really need to go."
"Commander, please come by and talk to Bud and I before you go," he
saw tears running down her face and stopped. "I'm so angry I don't
know what to say."
"Don't say anything Harriet. It's my problem. I can handle it."
"You're wrong Sir. It's our problem. When someone in a family is
hurting it's everyone's problem. I just wish the rest of the family
would get the heads out of the asses and realize it." Harriet said
with a temper she inherited from her momma's side of the family.
Harm laughed at her uncharacteristic use of profanity, "You know what
Harriet? Someone once asked me why I never married. I told them it
was because of my career, but I think it was because all the great
women were already taken," he smiled sadly and gave her a quick kiss
on the forehead. "Remind Bud that he's the luckiest guy in the world."
The sound of breaking glass and people yelling caught their
attention. Several military police ran towards the conference room
near them, and Harm followed with Harriet close behind.
"Seaman, now take it easy. Put the glass down," Sturgis's calm deep
voice coaxed as a young man backed into a corner holding a sharp
piece of broken glass to his throat.
Blood was dripping down Seaman Clark's hand and neck where the glass
had already broken the skin and was dangerously close to his carotid
artery and jugular vein.
"I told you, you are not going to lock me up in that place!" The
young man was crying.
"Okay Seaman...John, they won't put you in jail if you just put the
glass down," Mac pleaded.
"NOOOOOO! YOUUUU LIED! I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" John pushed the glass
tighter and more blood poured down his hand and throat onto the front
of his uniform.
Harm pushed through the military marine guards towards where Sturgis
and Mac stood. "John?" he said gently moving just ahead of Mac.
"Stay away, you are with them. They are going to put me in a jail, a
dark place and lock me away. I can't do that." The young seaman
looked to be no more than twenty-one years of age. Athletically built
with a short buzz cut, he normally fit the bill of an all American.
Today he was falling apart. His hands were trembling and his eyes
filled with tears were hyper vigilant. Blood dripped from wounds
created from squeezing in his hand the piece of broken glass from a
water drinking glass to his throat.
"John, my name is Harm. I haven't met you before."
"Harm," he giggled, "Do no harm, Harm?"
"That's right, you're afraid of dark places because you've been
locked in a dark place before John?"
"Don't like dark places...don't like the dark place," his voice
sounded childlike.
"I don't don't like dark places either, John. They are frightening
and lonely."
"I get so scared," he sobbed.
Harms started pulling his winter uniform jacket away and rolled up
his white uniform shirt revealing deep scars encircling both
wrists. "I was held in a dark place too John and I was scared."
"I'm so scared," John rocked himself and cried, but held tightly to
glass at his throat. Sweat, tears and blood dripped down his neck as
he chanted in a sing song fashion, "I'm so scared, can't go back,
can't go back."
Everyone was mesmerized by the scene unfolding. The Admiral had
arrived minutes before and the room was silent as Harm slowly made
his way closer and closer to the young man who was so threatening to
take his own life.
Reaching carefully to pick up a piece of the broken drinking glass
that the seaman had used as a weapon Harm again began to talk
softly. "John, what frightens you the most about that dark place is
being alone. I promise I will not let you go alone. You will not go
to jail to the dark place. You will go to a place where someone can
help you, and you will not be alone. You will have someone with you."
"I DON'T BELIEVE YOU, he locked me up and left me for days!" John
screamed and pushed the glass tighter.
"I promise I will not lock you up in a dark place. I will not let
anyone leave you alone in a dark place." Harm stepped closer.
"He said that too and locked me away and locked me away. All alone.
All alone. All alone. I'm so scared. I'm so scared."
Harm placed the glass to his wrist and began to push down deep until
blood began to flow, "I promise to go with you whatever your choice."
"Oh God!" Harriet's whispered voice could be heard in the background.
John's eyes focused on the glass that Harm held pushing down on his
wrist. Harm continued to push wincing as he pushed a little harder
drawing more blood. John looked into Harm's eyes and then back at his
wrists seeing the older scars and the new wound. Harm began to step
forward not releasing the pressure from the glass. "Your choice
John," he said as he made his way to within a foot of the young man.
Blood was now flowing down Harm's arm and down the leg of his pant.
"I'll go with you. I won't let you go alone."
John's face relaxed and then contorted again in sobs as his hand
dropped the piece of broken glass. John reached out and hugged the
man who would not allow him to die at his own hands. "I'm sorry, I'm
sorry, don't let him lock me up again. Please, don't let them lock me
up in that dark place again."
"I won't, John."
Mac's face was filled with tears as she turned and ran from the room.
***********
An ambulance waited as John Clark was sedated and prepared for
transport to Bethesda for treatment of the self-inflicted laceration
to his neck and psychiatric evaluation and treatment.
The corpsman applied a pressure bandage to Harm's wrist so he could
ride to the hospital with Clark as he had promised. He looked down at
himself and between the blood from his own cut and the blood from
Seaman Clark when he held on to Harm for dear life Harm looked more
like the patient than Clark.
"You know you're going to have to have a psych evaluation because
your wound was self inflicted," Admiral Chegwidden spoke as Harm
started to climb into the ambulance with Clark.
"No big deal, been there done that, got the t-shirt," Harm
replied, "I just wish I had one now, I don't want to scare the nurses
with this bloody outfit." He added with a laugh.
"Sir!" Bud yelled.
"Bud?" Harm told the paramedic to wait before closing the back door
to the ambulance.
"Here is a clean shirt, it's one of Mikey's. It may be a little
short, but at least it's not bloody."
"Thanks Bud, I do appreciate it," Harm smiled.
"Anytime, I'll go buy your apartment and get you a change of clothes
and bring them by the hospital when I pick you up." Bud waved.
Harm waved in return and scanned the parking lot hoping to see Mac,
but she was no where to be seen.
She instead looked out from her office window as Clayton Webb sat in
her chair.
"Sarah, I'm going to break a promise."
*********
The Admiral felt more confused than he had than when he first started
dating Meredith. He thought he had Harmon Rabb all figured out and
then the man pulled something like this.
"Get back to work people! The drama's over!" he announced as he
walked through the bullpen to his office.
Inside his office sat Clayton Webb, Sarah Mackenzie and Sturgis
Turner. "We need to talk Admiral." The CIA agent announced.
********
Harm expected Bud to pick him up at the hospital instead he was
surprised to see Admiral AJ Chegwidden standing in the waiting area
dressed in civilian attire.
"Is Bud alright? The kids aren't sick?" Harm asked worriedly.
"No the Roberts family are probably the healthiest or at least the
sanest of any of the JAG personal I know of. I ask Mr. Roberts to let
me pick you up because we needed to talk."
"Sir, I thought you said all you needed to say."
"Harm, don't make this any harder than it already is. Meredith has
told me I tend to be somewhat stubborn at times. You can disagree any
time."
"She apparently loves you and is being kind, Sir."
"So you think I'm a SOB?"
"You already told me that what I think didn't matter, Sir."
"Well I was wrong!"
"Yes you were Sir," Harm replied without emotion.
AJ frowned not sure he liked how quickly Harm agreed with him.
"How's the arm?" AJ changed the subject to allow him time to cool off.
"I've had worse," again the emotionless tone from Harm made AJ flinch
and he pulled over his SUV to a park that overlooked the Potomac.
"The scars, your statement about the psych eval, what happened when
you were with the agency?"
"Sir, with all due respect. That is none of your damn business. The
only reason any of that came up was because of Seaman John Clark. Who
by the way is going to receive the treatment he should have received
at the onset of his incarceration. Someone should have seen his
symptoms! The kid almost killed himself because of incompetence from
the get go!"
"You're absolutely right again Commander and that's why I've
rethought my decision to transfer you. Each officer and staff person
brings with them their own unique talent and abilities that together
gives JAG its strength, but I forgot how you challenged me and this
office. It has been missing something since you've been away Harm,
and we need you back. You may have aggravated the hell out of me, but
you make JAG better, and me a better commanding officer. Would you
consider staying?"
"I need to think it over, Admiral. If I do come back I don't want
anything about my CIA past brought up again." Harm looked out into
the dark churning river. He never wanted to return to that dark place.
"I understand."
"No sir, I don't think you do."
***********
Monday morning
Day 1
Week 2
"Good morning Sir! I've got blueberry muffins in the breakroom."
Admiral Chegwidden smiled it was going to be a good week. Not
perfect, but better than the week before.
The end
Read the sequel: The Darker Side of Evil
