Author: Nancy
Disclaimer: Don't own JAG or characters. This is not for money or
fame. Too bad.
Classification: Harm Drama
Rating: PG-13
Summary: This is the sequel to 'The Last Goodbye." Harm returns to
JAG to prove himself again. The Last Goodbye was written in October
2001. Bud had not lost his leg, but Harm has and is dealing with the
aftermath.
This story is written from each of the characters' points of view.
Captain Rabb is supposed to return today. When he left, he was a Commander, a damn fine JAG officer. However, when all hell broke loose over a year ago with the terrorists' attacks, I knew it would be only a matter of time before he would be defending our country using his flying skills rather than his courtroom skills. He was born to fly just like his father and his grandfather before him. I must admit, I was more than a little proud when he advanced to CAG and received a rapid promotion to Captain. All of that ended much too quickly. The missile that could have killed him took a part of him physically leaving him crippled. I hope it didn't cripple his spirit.
"Admiral Chegwidden, Captain Rabb is here."
"Send him in Tiner."
The limp is barely noticeable as he walks in and snaps to attention. "At ease Captain, Harm it's good to see you." I come around from my desk and extend my hand. His grip is strong, good sign. He looks older than the year and a half that has passed. War does that to you.
"It's good to see you too Admiral." He flashes a smile that is not nearly as bright as his trademark one.
I gesture for him to sit, and I sit. "You ready to get to work? I have been short handed ever since you left." He sits without his usual grace.
"Yes Sir, I was beginning to go a little stir crazy." His answers are short and a little tense. Time should take care of the uneasiness between us.
"Good, you are now ranking officer except for me of course so I will be depending on you to assist me with administrative duties along with your normal courtroom responsibilities."
"Sir, I know I've been out of the loop for over a year, and my captain's bars were not earned at JAG. I don't expect to ah..." Dammit, he's trying to give me some sort of way out. He has underestimated my judgement of him as well as his own abilities. So with my usual firm finesse, I lay into him like a heat seeking missile on a jet's six.
"Captain, you *earned* those bars because of your outstanding leadership skills! Whether as a line officer or a JAG, the rank still means the same thing." I am still frowning as I pause to let my statement sink in to that thick Rabb head.
"I won't throw you to the wolves right away, but I will give you a few days to get your bearings." I smirk remembering the last time he returned I gave him the case from hell...defending the SecNav's son.
A small glimmer of a smile forms as he too remembers, "I take it no relative of a high ranking Naval official needs to be defended?"
"No, but if one does. You can help me to determine who should be assigned that honor. Being assistant to the JAG will have its perks." I smirk. "I've been thinking that Bud could use a case like that to cut his teeth on even though I'm sure he would have to arm wrestle Lt. Singer for it." Harm laughs. He looks like he is finally beginning to relax.
"Your old office has been made available. Before you get settled in, I was planning on having a staff meeting this morning." I stand after gathering my agenda and watch as he prepares to stand. He has to push himself up from the chair. For that moment, my gut tightens as I unconsciously focus on his right lower leg. He catches my slight frown along with my downward gaze. His smile fades as he stands stiffly waiting for my lead. "I guess we need to get to the conference room for the staff meeting." I mumble silently kicking my self as he turns to the door.
I look back down at my desk and call him, "Captain, I have been holding this for you." I open the box and expose his newest medal. "You earned a 'Purple Heart' for your last mission on the Patrick Henry." I hold the box out to him. He stares at it momentarily and then slowly reaches for it.
"Congratulations, would be inappropriate. Harm, your nation appreciates the sacrifice you made in defending our freedom. Personally I just want to say, Thank you Captain." I snap a salute that he returns a little sluggishly and slides the box into his pocket. He leaves my office with a little more of a drag to his right step.
God, I hope he can survive one more time.
***********
I look anxiously around the bullpen for him. We spent the evening before together at his apartment. It will be the last for a while with him returning to the same chain of command. He is senior officer to me and regulations prohibit the relationship we share. Right now, he needs to experience success more than anything. Ironically, it is because of my love for him that I find myself again sitting second to his career. I love him enough to let him go again. There's an old saying if you love someone and let them go, they will come back. I'm holding on to that thought with all my heart.
"Bud did Harm make it in yet?"
"I saw him briefly as he was entering the Admiral's office. He's been in there for awhile. How is he?" Bud's honest caring demeanor is one of the reasons Harriet is such a lucky woman.
"He's getting there Bud. We just need to try to treat him like we did before."
"Is that possible? I mean is he the same person as before?" Bud implores with wisdom that always surprises.
"Yes and no."
"Well one thing has changed. He is now assistant JAG." Bud smiles and looks at his watch. The Admiral wants the staff meeting to begin at 1000, so we make our way into the conference room.
There is a quiet whispering among the remaining JAG staff as Bud and I quickly find seats just as the Admiral walks in with the tall handsome officer whom once more graces the department and will forever hold my heart.
Immediately everyone quickly stands at attention. "At ease. I don't believe I need to make introductions for most of you, but as you all can see we are pleased to have Captain Harmon Rabb rejoining the JAG staff. He will be resuming courtroom duties along with the duties of assistant JAG." The Admiral turns to Harm, "I believe you know most everyone here with the additions of Lt. Calvin Malone, Lt. Wiley Dobbs and Commander Sturgis Turner."
Harm nods and extends a hand to Sturgis, "Good to see you again Sturgis, how long has it been?"
"You two know each other?" I can't believe I had forgotten that detail about our bubblehead.
"We were midshipmen at Annapolis together in another life." Harm smiles warmly. Harm hasn't lost his style, he should have run for public office, I think as the Admiral allows some moments for everyone to welcome our returning hero.
The other officers soon begin to reach out with extended hands, "Good to have you back, Sir." Bud grins clearly pleased to see his mentor return, and I see a flash of a smile on Harm's face. Bless you Bud Roberts.
The new people introduce themselves and share comments about his reputation and looking forward to serving with him. Harm seems surprised to find that he is so welcomed, not like the last time he returned from flying. This time is different. The awkwardness is still there, but he has nothing to prove to anyone in this office, but I doubt he realizes that.
I walk around and extend my hand, "Colonel Sarah Mackenzie, but you may call me Mac." I smile as he gives me an odd look unintentionally replaying our first meeting.
"Harm." He plays out the moment of deju vu and grasps my hand holding it a little longer than protocol allows. The Admiral and Bud remember as I see a thoughtful smile form on each face. The others politely hide a look of bewilderment. Harm nods understanding my true message...we are starting fresh. This is a beginning, not an end.
"Now that we've all welcomed the Captain back, let's get down to business people." I can see that the Admiral wants to get things back to normal as quickly as possible, whatever the hell that is.
**********
I've had this really strange recurring dream that I was the one who lost a leg, only it wasn't in an aircraft, but in a mine field. I shutter as I watch him ease into the chair next to the Admiral. He's lost something other than the obvious and it takes me a minute to see. He's quiet, introspective and I hate to admit, but a little insecure. I remember the first time I met him on the Seahawk years ago. He strolled across the flight deck mesmerized by all the activity. He had something to prove then too, but I just didn't know it at the time. He's still my hero, more so than ever before, I just don't know how to tell him. For now, I'll do my best to make him proud of me.
"Commander, I'm sorry Captain! I hope to work with you soon on an upcoming case!" I lean over and whisper drawing a steely look from the Admiral.
He nods and looks to the Admiral as the meeting begins. Harm listens attentively as each of us gives an update on the current cases. Last time he left to fly, he felt out of the loop so this time he seems determined to play catch up. I am careful to add extra details so that he can follow my report more easily. The others seemed to follow suit and consequently the meeting lasts an extra forty-five minutes. He carefully takes notes on each case and asks a few questions for clarification. The routine seems normal despite the obvious lack of jocularity that usually sneaks in at opportune moments.
********
Bud is anxious. I can always tell when he plasters that silly grin on his face. However, he's not worried about himself, and he's not alone in that feeling. We all want Harm to succeed and will move heaven and earth to make sure that it happens. The problem is that we can't *make* him feel successful, and we can't protect him from the unfairness of his reality. I hope he knows that he has earned so much respect from those of us that have worked with him and known him. Bud already had him on a pedestal, I guess we all have.
He looks more human now, which isn't a bad thing. I don't think everyone could see that quality in him with the exception of the Colonel. I always have had a sort of a crush on him, because dammit, he's still the best looking thing to ever wear dress whites or any other uniform. He's not so bad in civies either. I'm drifting again. A married gal can still admire from a distance.
I smile brightly and give him a quick hug when he turns to me. Try not to gush Harriet, he'll think you're insincere. Treat him as before when we all had a false sense of security about life...that seems so long ago. We all are changed by the events of the last year and a half. I wish I could relax and be natural, but I am not that good of an actress.
I know someone who will know how to act so perhaps its time for little AJ to visit his godfather. Having a child in your life certainly helps you to look at things differently. I need my son's eyes.
Hmmmm? I wonder what that was all about? Mac introducing herself to Harm. I'll have to ask Bud about that one.
**********
"You want to throw a few hoops later?" I ask after the meeting. I'm not going to tip toe around the fact that my old friend has a physical limitation. If he's the same Harmon Rabb Junior that I remember, he'll make up for whatever he can't do ten times over in other ways.
"Sure Sturgis," he smiles but doesn't sound confident. I hope that changes. The competitive Harm I know would jump at the challenge.
I nod and notice several people glaring at me as if I didn't realize the man has an artificial limb. Harm can still throw a basketball and the sooner everyone focuses on what he can do the better for him. I refuse to allow my old friend to be handicapped.
"Oh and Harm whatever happened to that red Corvette of yours?" I choose to ignore those around me and continue to catch up.
"It was stolen outside my apartment and stripped down for parts!" Harm shook his head in frustration. His gaze drops to his legs and an expression of pain passes briefly, but vanishes as quickly as it appears. "I guess I need to get another." He recovers with a smile to cover his real emotions. I can only imagine what you must feel buddy. Your part, your leg was stolen from you too. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for your loss and your pain.
"I know you can't replace the original one. As I remember you got it right after we graduated, but I'll help you restore another. I'm a pretty fair mechanic if you recall." I told myself I wouldn't dance around the issue, but I find myself using metaphors, and he knows it.
"Thanks, I do remember, and I may just take you up on the offer." He reaches out and shakes my hand. He, Keeter and I had some pretty deep conversations back during the academy days. They used to call me preacher boy not because of my dad, but because I was always a good listener. I hope I haven't lost the touch.
**********
This is so typical of a man's Navy. One thing I can't stand is a pity promotion! I've had to scratch and dig my way in this Navy. I've got as much talent in the courtroom as anyone, but I'm a woman and I'm not one of the favored few.
The good old boys still rule and now Rabb's back in charge because he's a war hero...not because he stayed and stuck out the staff shortages here a JAG like me.
I really doubt he'll hang around long though. They'll let him save face and use him to show how progressive and wonderful the new Navy has become. Then he'll fade into the background, and I'll move right on up. Well I guess I better go suck up and let everyone know how sensitive I am. Here he comes, look sympathetic Loren.
"Captain, I want to tell you how much your terrible sacrifice has meant to me. Your presence under these circumstances just motivates me to try harder!" I use my most serious tone as I place my hand over my heart for affect. I wonder if anyone heard me? Oh good, I see the others noticed. Mission accomplished. "If you need anything, let me know. I've got perseverance and two good legs," I offer generously and excuse myself to work on more important issues.
I wonder why Colonel Mackenzie and Lt. Sims are giving me that evil look. I wish they would grow up. They are sooo jealous.
********
"Bitch." Harriet Sims whispers.
"She has no clue as to who really has the handicap." I mutter and turn to my office. I steal a gaze at Harm who has made his way into the bullpen. My heart aches as I notice a carefully disguised look of absolute fear in his eyes. He is so afraid of failure.
This will be the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life including walking away from alcohol...letting Harm have the chance to fall in order to find out he can get up again and stand on his own. I better get into my office before someone sees a kickass jarhead cry.
*******
The End for now
